If you are one of those people who waits until fake TV judges make an endorsement before supporting a candidate, you’re in luck. Judge Judy has handed down a ruling that Michael Bloomberg is guilty of being the best democrat in the field. The anti-gun billionaire picked up the key endorsement today from a woman who yells at people suing each other over dog poop and Waffle House bills. In related news, Bloomberg has absolutely no idea what barbecue ribs are. He’s a shoe in for the democratic party nomination.
Bloomberg is shoveling millions of his own dollars into a doomed vanity run for president. Much to his disappointment, not everything is for sale so he has to buy what he can. I’m not saying he paid Judge Judy to endorse him, but I’m also not saying he didn’t. In any case, check out this thing that is right up there with a Jerry Springer endorsement:
We’re glad to have Judge Judy in our corner. Thank you for the support! https://t.co/IdsU5r89Xu pic.twitter.com/8lSdnF7Fzt
— Mike Bloomberg (@MikeBloomberg) January 6, 2020
Is it just me or this there something weird about this video? When Judge Judy says “Mike Bloomberg” there’s a strange skip in the video and audio, like it was dubbed in. Maybe Judge Judy was actually endorsing someone else and his team edited the video to make it seem like she was endorsing him. Perhaps Judge Judy really said, “I endorse Joe Biden because he’s better than Mike Bloomberg” and they cut out all of that stuff before “Mike Bloomberg.”
It doesn’t really matter because a Judge Judy endorsement carries about as much weight as an endorsement from Tom Arnold or that guy who sells umbrellas out of his trunk on rainy days. It is terribly sad if the Bloomberg campaign either paid for this endorsement or stole it from another candidate.
Speaking of sad, Bloomberg also can’t seem to buy a decent social media team. This is what his billions of dollars bought:
Find someone who looks at you the way Mike looks at ribs.😍 pic.twitter.com/cXbBy2tavJ
— Team Bloomberg (@Mike2020) January 4, 2020
The idea Bloomberg’s incompetent social media team is trying to put out is that you should pick a candidate who cares about you as much as Mikey loves ribs. In other words, pick Bloomy because he loves you as much as these ribs.
There are a few problems here: Those ain’t ribs, that’s briquet. Also, Bloomberg isn’t looking at the briquet like he’s in love with it. In reality, he has a look of concern, bordering on disgust.
That look on his face says, “This is what poor people eat? Where’s the caviar and squab?”
The most pathetic thing about this social media fail is that Bloomberg’s team thinks this makes the billionaire relatable to the common folk. He doesn’t know what the hell ribs or brisquet is, but he certainly can’t hide his contempt for the peasants. He should really focus his efforts on rich a-holes who are disgusted by normal people, because that’s his actual base.
Getting an endorsement from Judge Judy and having no idea what ribs are is at least two things that disqualify Michael Bloomberg from ever being president. That fact that he’s a million-year-old billionaire with no personality doesn’t help either. Many of the other democratic candidates complain that the office of the presidency shouldn’t be for sale and Bloomy is busting their narrative by proving you can’t actually buy your way in.
