Sometimes he’s “Creepy Joe” and other times he’s “Crazy Joe.” On Monday it was the later as Joe Biden promised to raise taxes and beat the hell out of Republicans with brass knuckles if they resisted his insane agenda. Just in case that doesn’t work, Biden’s plan B is to shame everyone into accepting his BS and as a last resort a violent revolution. He framed all of this kookiness with a message of uniting the people which obviously doesn’t mean what he thinks it means.
Biden spoke at The Poor People’s Campaign, which seems a bit odd considering his wealth and all. In his opening statement he let it be know that he will unite this country by insulting half the country:
“We have to stop letting these guys use the divisions that exist in the country as charlatans always do to divide the country,” said Biden.
Yeah, I thought he was talking about Obama too, but apparently he meant Republicans. Anyways, way to unite the nation by calling half the population a bunch of charlatans.
He was then asked by a moderator what the first thing he would do if he was elected president and this was his dumb answer:
“The first thing I would do as president is eliminate [Trump’s] tax cut,” said Biden.
So his first official act as POTUS would be to raise taxes? Please run in that, Joe. People just love when politicians promise to take more of their money. Also, I’d be willing to bet the first thing he’d do if he were elected would involve touching a little girl innapropriately but whatever.
Moderator Joy Reid (yes seriously) asked Biden how he’d get his agenda through a Republican-controlled Senate and the former VP had some interesting ideas:
“There are certain things where it just takes a brass knuckle fight,” said Biden. “You have to go out and beat these folks if they don’t agree with you. That’s what presidents are supposed to do. Persuade people if they don’t agree… you beat them.”
Biden is so effing crazy I have no idea if he is speaking metaphorically here. My guess is no and he thinks he’s going to put on bass knuckles and beat the crap out of Republicans if they disagree with his agenda. Even with brass knuckles I feel like he’s the one that’s going to end up with an ass-kicking because he’s old and decrepit.
Just in case his plan to beat up Republicans doesn’t work out, he’s got this up his sleeve:
“Or let’s start a real physical revolution if you’re talking about it. Because we have to be able to change what we’re doing within our system,” Biden said.
Bring it, old man. I doubt I’m the only one who would love for the liberals to try to take this country from us with a “physical revolution.” It would be the most one-sided fight in history and would be enjoyed by everyone on our winning side.
Finally, Crazy Joe says that if those first two things somehow fail, he’ll try some passive aggression:
“You can shame people to do things the right way,” Biden said.
It’s hard to shame others when you yourself have no shame. Also, who gives a shit what Joe Biden thinks about them? Not me.
In any case, Joe Biden’s presidential campaign is shaping up even weirder than I thought was possible. He’s going to raise taxes, beat people with an illegal weapon, spark a violent revolution, and do a lot of tsk tsking. And I thought he was bonkers for trying to buy votes with a cancer cure.
