Joe Biden’s gambit to bribe Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar to drop out of the race paid off handsomely as the former 4th place loser won 8 states on Super Tuesday. Commie Bernie Sanders did okay as well and will probably end up with about the same delegates as Joe if California can unf*ck their “new and improved” voting system and actually count the votes. The big losers of the day were Michael Bloomberg who flushed a half billion down the toilet and Elizabeth Warren who got scalped, even losing her home state.
Biden came a way with wins in Massachusetts, Minnesota, Virginia, Tennessee, Alabama, North Carolina, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. Sanders won Vermont, Colorado, Utah, and California. Texas is still too close t call but it looks like these two geezers will split the delegates from the Lone Star State.
Michael Bloomberg picked up a solid win in American Samoa. No seriously, he dropped $500 million dollars to win American Somoa.
And then there’s Liz. Just a couple of months ago Elizabeth Warren was considered a contender and even topped some of the national polls. Now she’ll have to change her name to E-Loser-Beth because she really got her ass kicked on Super Tuesday.
Warren was born in Oklahoma and that’s where she began pretending to be an Indian princess. The Okies have no love for their native squaw as she came in 4th with 13% of the vote and got no delegates. She finished behind Michael Bloomberg. Let that sink in for a second. Oklahomans would rather vote for a NY billionaire asshole than someone who is actually from the state.
Massachusetts wasn’t much better for Warren. She is an actual U.S. Senator from Massachusetts and she lost in a big way. Biden won the state with 34% of the vote. Sanders came in 2nd with 27% and finally there was Warren in 3rd with 21%. They’ll let her represent them in the Senate but won’t vote for her in a primary. Go figure.
I’d say the people of Massachusetts must know something that the rest of the country doesn’t about Warren, but she crapped out across the map:
Alabama: 4th place, no delegates.
Arkansas: 4th place, no delegates.
California: 4th place, 5 delegates.
Colorado: 4th place, 1 delegate.
Maine: 3rd place, 2 delegates.
Massachusetts: 3rd place, 14 delegates.
Minnesota: 3rd place, 7 delegates.
North Carolina: 4th place, 2 delegates.
Oklahoma: 4th place, no delegates.
Tennessee: 4th place, 1 delegate.
Texas: 4th place, no delegates.
Utah: 4th place, no delegates.
Vermont: 3rd place, no delegates.
Virginia: 3rd place, no delegates.
I guess what this really shows is that Warren only managed to capture 1/1024 of the electorate. Where have I heard that number before?
Keep in mind that Warren has out-fundraised Biden and Sanders, yet still couldn’t muster a single win on Super Tuesday. She didn’t even get a respectable 2nd place finish anywhere.
This is a testament to how truly unlikable Warren is. She has less appeal than a thousand-year old creepy guy who lets little kids rub his hairy legs in the pool and a thousand and one-year-old communist with a heart condition.
It was a bad day for Elizabeth Warren but at least President Trump didn’t making fun of her.
Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren, other than Mini Mike, was the loser of the night. She didn’t even come close to winning her home state of Massachusetts. Well, now she can just sit back with her husband and have a nice cold beer!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 4, 2020
Oh well, there’s always 2024 when Warren will be as old as Joey and Bernie.
