Monday Morning Breakfast For The Brain

Monday again Deplorables and the sad thing is that it’s no longer the crappiest day of the week.

Old Saying: “Give them an inch and they will take a mile.”

By Ben Garrison

House Democrat Whip: Coronavirus A ‘Tremendous Opportunity To Restructure Things To Fit Our Vision’

Big Government (the Deep State) claims to care about its subjects (We The People). This is obviously false.

If government cared about is, it wouldn’t have allowed the creation of the Federal Reserve and the IRS to steal the fruits of our labor. They wouldn’t allow poisonous GMOs into our food supply. It wouldn’t send young people to fight and die in pointless, endless wars based on lies. It wouldn’t allow babies and toddlers to be brutalized with an ever-growing and already long list of poisonous vaccinations that cause autism. It wouldn’t eagerly strip away our freedoms with each and every crisis.

The coronavirus is the latest crisis and the Deep State and the Fake News media are having a grand old time fanning the flames of fear.

Our freedom of assembly is gone. POOF! Our freedom of speech when it comes to the virus is limited. Only the corrupt CDC and even more corrupt WHO are supposed to have the say and have control of the data. We are repeatedly told not to listen to anyone else!

We The People had better darn well shut up and do as we’re told! Lives are at stake! You don’t want anyone to die, do you? Of course you don’t! Therefore, you WILL stay in your home and watch the fear porn channels each day. Start begging for still yet another government safety net. Demand that government receives more power and authority! Demand martial law and the mobilization of the troops! Demand Bill Gates release his vaccine antidote—you know, the one that comes with a handy-dandy microchip that can be scanned at government checkpoints to make sure you got your shot.

We need to be safe!

Shut down the economy and cause countless millions to lose their jobs! No worries, we will all get a pittance from our generous government. Becoming dependent on handouts from our virtuous and incorruptible government masters is a wonderful solution! To hell with self-reliance. We had all better do what we’re told, too…because the government can take it away if we don’t fall in line and march lockstep according to their dictates.

I’M BEING FACETIOUS OF COURSE.

In reality it all makes me sick how easy it was for government to remove not only our freedom, but our livelihoods as well. We are no longer the home of the brave. We’re the land of the fearful.

Check out all of Ben’s great cartoons and commentary HERE.

Pelosi and Schumer Block $1.6 Trillion Emergency Economic Bill – DOW Futures Collapse…

Via The Conservative Treehouse

Over the past three days a bipartisan group of senators, not leadership, constructed a $1.6 Trillion emergency aid package to rescue the U.S. economy and American workers. The package had the support of Mitch McConnell. It is called The Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act, or “CARE Act“.

However, at the last minute House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, having returned from her House recess vacation sipping cocktails poolside, instructed Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer to crush the senate effort.

Power hungry Pelosi sees an opportunity to use the looming economic crisis as leverage for selecting winners & losers amid the K-Street lobbying community. Donors for Democrats will be rewarded; supporters of Republicans, not-so-much. This is DC at it’s worst and Pelosi isn’t going to lose another opportunity. It’s the same process she used in ’08/’09.

Senator Schumer did as he was instructed. The relief bill did not pass cloture (60 votes needed), and the three-day effort collapsed. Immediately the DOW futures dropped 5%.

WASHINGTON DC – “I want everybody to fully understand if we aren’t able to act tomorrow, it will be because of our colleagues on the other side continuing to dicker when the country expects us to come together and address the problem,” McConnell said on the floor. He added that over the last 48 hours there were bipartisan discussions among “regular members of the Senate, not in the Leadership office, not in the speaker’s office for goodness sakes.”

“She’s the Speaker of the House, not the Speaker of the Senate,” McConnell added. “We were doing just fine until that intervention.” (more)

There are two main points Pelosi is targeting. First, because COVID-19 creates a MASSIVE SPENDING opportunity, Speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to include the elimination of college debt, literally wipe out student loans – which ironically and intentionally were created under Obamacare, in the coronavirus bill.

This move has nothing to do with the economic impacts of coronavirus, but it allows: (a) a political win to get the Bernie AOC crowd behind the Democrat candidate; and (b) will allow more government funding to ideological college interests by wiping out the debt problem.

Secondly, Speaker Pelosi wants unilateral control over which companies will receive any financial assistance or loans to survive the crisis.

Read the entire article HERE.

Shredded T-Shirts Used as Toilet Paper Are Backing Up Sewer Systems

Thanks to all of you numbskulls who bought a million rolls of toilet paper in the last few weeks, some California towns are experiencing sewer problems because people are using disinfectant wipes, paper towels, and even shredded T-shirts and then flushing them.

A Northern California city is asking residents not to use T-shirts as toilet paper as panicked customers exhaust toilet paper aisles nationwide in response to the coronavirus.
“COR Wastewater Management responded to a sewer backup from shredded t-shirts being used in place of toilet paper,” the City of Redding tweeted Thursday. “Remember, if you use anything other than toilet paper, Bag it. Don’t flush it.”

Wastewater management employees worked Wednesday night to clear the strips of T-shirt behind the clog at a lift station, according to the Redding Record Searchlight.

This is a serious problem that could affect millions of people.

Facilities across California have already reported issues with their sewer collection systems, the state’s Water Resources Control Board said.
Many cities in California use centralized sewage collection systems that rely on gravity and water flow to move along waste, according to regulators. Toilet paper dissolves in those systems, where as wipes and paper towels don’t break down so easily.

All we need is another public health crisis to deal with. Government agents will have to start going door to door and seize TP and distribute it to the truly needy.

Read the entire article HERE.

NYC Mayor To Start Emptying Jails Over Virus Spread

Via Hot Air

Even as major crimes aside from murder and rape have been on the rise in New York City, the jail population is about to go down. Probably by a lot. Citing concerns over the spread of the coronavirus, Mayor Bill de Blasio announced this week that the city would begin releasing people from jail early in a number of different categories. Because when you’ve got a major epidemic disrupting life in your town, what better time to have a bunch more criminals roaming the streets, right? (NY Post)

Mayor Bill de Blasio plans to release “vulnerable” inmates from city jails to prevent the spread of the coronavirus pandemic into local lockups, he said Wednesday.

“In the next 48 hours, we will identify any inmates who need to be brought out because of either their own health conditions — if they have any preexisting conditions, etc. — or because the charges were minor and we think it’s appropriate to bring them out in this context,” de Blasio said on WCBS radio Wednesday evening.

“That said, we still need our criminal justice system to function,” he added.

So there are several categories of prisoners who will be receiving their Get Out of Jail Free cards this week. One group are those over the age of fifty who are considered to have a “low risk of reoffending.” If that’s the case, why were they in jail in the first place?

Prisoners serving terms of less than one year will also (mostly) be released. That’s going to include a lot of street-level drug dealers, as well as those accused of assault or property crimes like retail theft, burglary, and similar offenses. But don’t worry. I’m sure that people who were willing to violate all of those types of laws will absolutely listen to the Governor’s shelter in place orders and not go around breaking into people’s apartments.

Maybe it’s just my faulty memory, but I thought all of the major jails and prisons in the region had medical facilities right on the premises. Wouldn’t you think that a facility full of jail cells would be pretty well set up for isolating sick people? Particularly when some of those cells are specifically labeled as “isolation?” It just seems as if you’re running more of a risk of spreading the disease by dumping them back out on the streets instead of keeping them where you know where they are and who they are coming in contact with.

Hizzoner has the city Board of Corrections on his side, however. They’re saying that the prisoner release needs to start immediately.

Read the entire article HERE.

NYC Forced to Crack Down on ‘Rim Jobs’ Due to Coronavirus: ‘Mouth on Anus Might Spread COVID-19’

Via The Pluralist

The New York City health department on Thursday issued guidelines detailing how residents should and should not engage in sex amid the coronavirus outbreak.

Most of the city’s nearly 9 million inhabitants, along with the rest of the state, will be under stay-at-home orders starting Sunday evening. But the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene suggested that was no excuse for unsafe sexual practices.

“You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex,” the guidelines said, referring to the respiratory illness caused by the novel coronavirus.

The department added: “Disinfect keyboards and touch screens that you share with others (for video chat, for watching pornography or for anything else).”

If New Yorkers must engage in sex with other people, they were urged to “have as few partners as possible” and to choose those partners from among their roommates.

“The next safest partner is someone you live with. Having close contact — including sex — with only a small circle of people helps prevent spreading COVID-19,” the guidelines said. “You should avoid close contact — including sex — with anyone outside your household.”

Stating the seemingly obvious, the department pooh-poohed having sex, “and especially kissing,” with anyone who has been diagnosed with COVID-19 or appears to have symptoms.

Addressing sex workers, the department suggested a pause in prostitution, which is still a crime in New York — at least for now.

“If you usually meet your sex partners online or make a living by having sex, consider taking a break from in-person dates,” the guidelines said. “Video dates, sexting or chat rooms may be options for you.”

NYC gets anal about coronavirus sex

According to the health department, COVID-19 has not been found in semen or vaginal fluid, and other coronaviruses are not be easily transmitted by sex. But the coronavirus is found in saliva and feces.

With that in mind, the department advised, “Avoid kissing anyone who is not part of your small circle of close contacts

The department also warned, “Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread COVID-19. Virus in feces may enter your mouth.”

Read the entire article HERE.

Burger King Sends Email Informing Customers Staff Will Now Be Required To Wash Their Hands

Via The Babylon Bee (Satire)

MIAMI, FL—Corporate leadership and public relations managers at Burger King headquarters are getting out ahead of the COVID-19 situation by letting customers know they will begin doing the bare minimum to keep their patrons safe by requiring employees to start washing their hands.

The e-mail reads as follows:

Our Response to COVID-19

We are taking the coronavirus pandemic very seriously.

That’s why, beginning today, all Burger King employees will be required to wash their hands.

We understand that new information surrounding COVID-19 and the changing landscape of our everyday routines have many of you feeling concerned about contracting the viral illness or passing it on to other vulnerable loved ones. We at Burger King also know that our customers will continue to crave our delicious flame-grilled Whoppers, expertly salted french fries, ice-cold beverages, and other fresh tasting sandwiches, sides, and desserts.

We are monitoring the situation closely and taking important steps to help protect the health and safety of our guests and team members. One protocol that WHO and CDC recommended to us right away was, “Please, please start washing your hands for the love of all that is good on this green earth.”

We listened.

As a result, when and where possible, Burger King drive-through locations are open, and we remain dedicated to providing fresh-tasting food with lightning-fast service—now with washed hands.

We continue to closely monitor recommendations and protocols established by WHO and CDC on how to wash one’s hands, as well as the recommendations of state and local health departments. We pledge to let you know if our protocols need to be further modified as the COVID-19 circumstances develop.

Thank you for choosing Burger King.

Check out all of the Bee’s takes on politics and culture HERE.

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