Congress passed and President Trump signed a $2.2 trillion coronavirus relief package that will, among other things, get cash payments to over 160 million Americans. Old man Joe Biden, like the rest of us, is under house arrest and can no longer be outside to yell at the clouds, so from his basement bunker, he’s yelling at Trump. His latest fit of elderly rage has him thinking that people won’t be getting their checks any time soon because President Trump has to personally sign each one.
Since Joe retreated to his bunker, he spends his days trying to be real-life Babylon Bee headlines. This is Joe sticking the self-parody on Friday:
Joe Biden: “No American should have to wait a single minute so Donald Trump can put his signature on a physical check.” pic.twitter.com/v88AQeFeuE
— The Hill (@thehill) April 3, 2020
“We need to get direct cash relief payments out to as many people as possible, as quickly as possible,” started Joe.
This is more of Biden demanding things that are already happening or have already happened. As NBC notes, direct cash relief payments are going out quickly to as many as 60 million people next week.
This is where Joe slips and falls into a pile of his own doo-doo:
“This may sound straight forward but no American should have to wait a single minute so Donald Trump can put his signature on a physical check,” Biden said.
Is he serious? Apparently so.
“It isn’t about him. It’s about families that need the cash now,” added Biden.
It is Joe Biden’s “expert” opinion that people aren’t getting their relief funds because president Trump has a huge ego and insists on personally signing every single check. Again, try to imagine Trump sitting at the Resolute Desk signing 160 million checks. I would imagine he’d get a hand cramp.
Then, who is putting these checks in the envelopes and licking the glue? There isn’t enough saliva in the Trump administration to do this, plus the White House discourages the exchange of bodily fluids at this point, which is a much different policy than Bill Clinton had.
After demonstrating that he doesn’t understand the simple logistics of issuing government checks, Biden tried to make his case that he would handle the coronavirus crisis much better than President Trump.
“I oversaw an $800 billion program. The biggest recovery ever passed before this one and it was hard work to make sure there was no less than two-tenths of one-percent fraud when its got all finished. That’s what it was. Less than two-tenth of one-percent fraud or abuse. But we did it and it matter because every dollar wasted doesn’t get to a worker or family who badly needs it,” claimed Biden.
This isn’t as sound-bitingly insane as the check signing thing, but it’s no less crazy.
Biden is referring to the $800 billion American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, which he didn’t oversee. Also, it was a combination of corporate bailouts and welfare expansion, not direct cash payments to workers or families. How is it that Joe managed to get these cash payments to workers and families when he wasn’t in charge of the ARRA and it didn’t provide for individual checks? The answer is: he’s lying.
It’s also important to note that Joe is claiming that part of his make-believe oversight of the ARRA including insuring there was a certain amount of fraud. He literally said, “it was hard work to make sure there was no less than two-tenths of one-percent fraud.” If he was trying to eliminate fraud in the program he should have been working hard to make sure there was “no more” than two-tenths of one-percent, but whatever.
Since the liberal media has no desire to fact-check any of the crazy crap Biden says, I think we can expect CNN and MSNBC to suddenly accuse President Trump of taking too long to personally sign 160 million checks and eventually Nancy Pelosi and the democrats will draft articles of impeachment for abuse of penmanship.
