DJ Drowns Out Biden’s Final Words To Supporters

During the Academy Awards, when a winner’s acceptance speech goes too long, they crank up the music to drown him or her out. The same thing happened last night in Joe Biden’s final campaign stop in Pennsylvania. As Biden prepared to give one last pitch, the DJ blasted the tunes and sent Joe skulking off the stage. Now the 12 people in attendance will never know what he was going to say.

Fresh from his promise to kill 600,000 jobs in the state with a fracking ban and an end to the oil industry, Joe Biden held his last campaign stop in Pittsburgh Monday night. The handful of people in attendee were less than enthusiastic and so Joe figured he need to close with a bang to get them pumped up. There was just one problem:

Too funny. Whoever that DJ is should get the Medal of Freedom for sparing the people from having to hear one more thing from Joe Biden’s mouth.

It’s possible that whatever Biden was going to say was going to be the most brilliant thing ever but more likely it would have been an epic gaffe. Like maybe he was going to confuse Pittsburgh with Scranton or perhaps he was going to tell a story about how he once let inner-city kids dry-hump his leg. The best bet is that he was going to make up a new word like “doinkasquib” and leave it at that.

I’m a lip-reading expert and from what I can tell, Biden’s last words were “I pooped my pants. Westward ho!”

The good news for Joe is that not many people missed out on his words of wisdom. As part of his plan to be as unappealing as possible to Pennsylvania voters, Biden had anti-fracking activist and celebrity elitist Lady Gaga perform at this rally-in-name-only. As you can see, there were not many people in attendance and they were bored:

They wouldn’t wave their hands in the air because they just don’t care.

This is as sad as when Jeb Bush had to tell people when to clap and they still didn’t. It’s actually more pathetic because Joe Biden is the democratic party nominee and this was a big-time celebrity failing to pump up his smattering of “supporters.”

All of this is a metaphor for the Biden campaign: He is the democrats’ candidate by default because the rest of the field were somehow worse than him and even among democrats there is zero enthusiasm for him.

The other metaphor is him getting drowned out by the DJ. After mangling the English language in his speech for too long, the guy in control of the PA system said “enough.” After months of gaffes, lunacy, and lies the American people will go to the polls and put a muzzle on his madness.