The biggest WTF? of the week, and maybe of all time, is that the states that are recounting the votes are recounting the same rotten fraudulent ballots they did the first time around. To catch the fraud, they have to audit the ballots or even have a do-over. Here’s some other WTFers that would like a do-over:
A man in possession of methamphetamine was critically injured Thursday after falling while racing on his motorcycle, during which he accidentally shot himself and got hit by a car, according to the Kansas City, KS, Police Department.
Officers and medical crews responded to 12th Street and Kansas Avenue in reference to a car crash, and transported the man to an area hospital with critical but non-life-threatening injuries.
A police narrative states:
While racing, the suspect lost control of his bike and wrecked. During the accident, a weapon in his waistband discharged, striking him in the hip, and he was also struck by another vehicle that fled the scene. He was transported to an area hospital in critical but non-life-threatening condition. A records check revealed him to be a felon, and a large bag of suspected methamphetamine was located in the motorcycle.
Talk about getting up on the wrong side of the bed.
A mayor of a town in Belgium has apologised after it has been claimed his Christmas lights looked like penises.
The blue and white structures were supposed to be candles – but instead locals have been sharing the images online, joking about their phallic shape.
Mayor of Oudenburg, Anthony Dumarey, said there had been ‘many reactions’ to the Christmas lights.
‘Of course, it was not our intention to install Christmas lights that remind people of a penis,’ he told local newspaper HLN.
‘But we do see the lighter side of the incident.
‘We were on a limited budget, so our technical department designed the illumination by itself.
‘In any case, we wanted to move away from the classic flame or candle-themed illumination.’
Mr Dumarey explained designers decided at the last minute a flame at the top of the white column of the candle was cliché, and instead replaced it with a blue ball.
He said the final decorations were ‘not that big of a problem’.
‘A woman told me, laughing, that she would also like a big Christmas pecker at her door,’ he said.
Belgian Mayor waffles on dick lights/blue balls issue.
A Canadian farmer trimmed his field into the shape of a giant penis that can be seen on Google Maps, which collects imagery with satellites more than 22,000 miles above the surface.
Prince Edward Island resident Jamie Rix originally cut his soybeans into a crop circle about a year and a half ago.
After he added a straight line so he could drive directly down the field, a friend dared him to turn it into ‘a giant Johnson.’
‘I said, ‘Why not,” Rix told the CBC. ”Challenge accepted,’ and away I went.’
The 800-foot phallus is something of a protest against government inaction, Rix added, which is why it points toward Ottawa, Canada’s capital.
‘People who do see it, or I show a picture to, they just think it’s great, they laugh,’ he told the CBC. ‘I think if you’re offended by anything that’s just a choice.’
Rix did wait a year before telling his wife about the erotic design, though.
‘She hasn’t heard or seen or thought much about it,’ he said. ‘I don’t think she’d like to be associated with it.’
Now that the field has gotten press attention, he’s more inclined to change it.
‘Now that it’s on Google Maps, I could probably trim it to look more like a runway,’ Rix said. ‘Maybe someone will land there in an emergency.’
Trimming the penis is the emergency. Speaking of which…
A BABY born with a “double penis” could have been as a result of a twin that failed to form properly in the womb, doctors say.
The boy, who was born in Assiut, Egypt, also had two separate scrotums and urethras, meaning he was able to urinate through both.
The unusual case was highlighted by Ahmed Maher Ali and his team Pediatric Surgery Unit in Assiut University Children Hospital.
Writing in the International Journal of Surgery Case Reports, they said: “Our case has a complete double penis with two separate scrotums.”
Their report added: “We present a newborn with double penis and double scrotum as a part of a caudal duplication syndrome (CDS) which is a condition includes duplication of the distal organs of the body.
The baby weighed 5.5lbs at birth and his double penis also had double pinpoint urethral opening so he could urinate through both.
There was also double scrotum containing one palpable testis for each.
Tragically, there was no initial anal orifice and surgery was required for a low descending colostomy that revealed a duplicated colon.
The medics wrote: “The patient started oral feeding and tolerating and pass regularly from the colostomy.”
They concluded: “CDS is a rare condition that needs a multidisciplinary team for its management that includes staged repair of duplications.
“In our case, we are planning to start staged repair at the age of 16 months.”
Courtney Skaggs, 29, is genetically male but was also born with a clitoris. However, her body rejected its male hormones and she now lives as an ‘intersex femme’ following the invasive surgery from when she was a newborn.
Courtney, from San Diego in California, was deemed female by doctors soon after birth because of her overall physical appearance.
She then underwent surgery at six weeks-old to ‘normalize’ her genitalia by removing her testicles, but is now distressed that such a major, life-changing procedure was conducted without her consent.
The operation took place even after Courtney had been identified as intersex at birth, when doctors realized she had XY (male) chromosomes.
Courtney believes she was ‘robbed’ of her true identity when she underwent surgery to remove the testicles she was born with, and wishes her body had been left alone. She said she’s unsure how her body would have developed differently if she was left with her male hormone-producing testes.
‘I don’t know where my gender ID would be if I didn’t have that surgery. I have been robbed of who I am from the core.
‘I have been made to feel like a freak for who I am because there is a lack of acceptance and recognition in society for people like me. I have not been able to live my life authentically because I’ve felt like I have to hide who I really am.
By the power of Grayskull, there is something very confusing about a lesbian hermaphrodite tranny. So is this:
A teen born with male genitalia and raised as a boy has become pregnant after finding out last year that she also has working ovaries, a uterus, cervix and fallopian tubes.
Mikey Chanel, 18, was raised as a boy, but always felt ‘he’ was different from his male peers.
In fact, tests done on Mikey as a foetus in his mother’s womb revealed him to be a girl, so his family and doctors were surprised when he was born with male genitalia
“I never felt like a boy. I was quite effeminate and I never really went through a whole ‘boy puberty’ thing.
“I only have a tiny bit of facial hair. I’ve always had a feminine-shaped body, with hips and a butt.
“I got bullied at school, everyone told me I was a faggot, a tranny, since third grade, before I even knew what it meant really.”
“I had been having a weird feeling after peeing and after sex, so they did an ultrasound of my urinary tract,” said Mikey.
“They told me that I had a cervix, ovaries, uterus and fallopian tubes and that I could get pregnant if I wanted to.
Mikey then underwent a series of fertility procedures including ICSI and in which donor sperm is injected directly into a woman’s egg to create a fertilized embryo.
Because Mikey does not have a vaginal opening three fertilized embryos were implanted into her fallopian tube via an abdominal cavity.
“I was told there was only about a 20 percent chance it would work, but it worked, and I was so shocked but happy” said Mikey, who is now four months pregnant.
“I can’t wait to be a parent,” she added.
I’m sure the baby is much less enthusiastic about it.
Church staff across Cheshire have been subjected to horrific assaults a new report has revealed.
One member of door staff was bitten and grabbed by the testicles in a shocking incident back in August.
The assault is just one of 66 crimes to take place in churches in Cheshire according to a report by the Countryside Alliance.
The investigation took place after several complaints were made to the Countryside Alliance from members who were concerned that nothing was being done to raise awareness of crimes at churches including lead theft in rural areas.
After submitting a Freedom of Information Act request to Cheshire police, the rural campaigning group found that religious buildings in and across the county are not only being targeted for their lead, but that there were also multiple other crimes recorded including vandalism and assault.
It included 32 cases of criminal damage, 12 cases of violence, 18 cases of general thefts and four cases of lead theft.
Criminals even stole a scarecrow from one church as well as other items such as wallets, laptops, cameras and scaffolding.
Meanwhile in another shocking incident, it is revealed one offender bit a member of door staff as well as well as grabbing their testicles. The offender was arrested at the scene.
The headline made it seem like the church member had his testicles bitten, so it’s not all bad.
A 40-year-old gospel singer in Koforidua losing her sight is appealing for help.
Adwoa is now partially blind as her condition continues to worsen.
The cause of the predicament of the once vibrant gospel singer is not known. But Adwoa alleges, she suddenly became partially blind after a self-styled Prophet in Koforidua allegedly had sexual intercourse with her and used her vagina discharge for rituals.
According to Adwoa, one Prophet Charles Kofi Adu – Founder of Light Ministry Church located at Aya-Junction in Koforidua asked her to support his ministry as a lead singer this year.
She said, the Prophet later proposed marriage to her and subsequently had sexual intercourse with her on three separate occasions.
“After every sexual intercourse, he claims I had bad vagina odour so I should wash my vagina into a bucket at the bathroom I was confused why the Prophet kept telling me that I should wash my vagina into the bucket but he told me there was no cause for alarm just that he wanted me to smell fresh. Later, he sent me to his spiritual father at Old Estate a suburb of Koforidua, and the spiritual father after some incantation said, marriage between us wouldn’t work so I should walk away from the relationship”.
Adwoa continued that “a few days later, I became ill and started experiencing painful bulging eyes and went partially blind subsequently” She told Kasapa News
A Jamaican pastor facing charges of rape has been released on bail and is due back in court on December 7, 2020.
Pastor Dave Jonas, 53, of the Apostle Philadelphia Ministry in the Corporate Area of Kingston, Jamaica, has been charged with rape and grievous sexual assault. It is alleged that the pastor and a church sister had several counselling sessions together. During the sessions, he reportedly poured olive oil on his fingers and inserted them in her vagina under the guise that he was “anointing” her and following God’s instructions to help her conceive a child.
Thereafter, it is alleged the pastor had sexual intercourse with the woman without her consent. The sex acts allegedly occurred between 2008 and 2015.
Investigators claim this continued after the pastor told the complainant that “God told him to do it in order for her to conceive.”
Experts believe a pod of savage orcas has ravaged the great white population around Cape Town after hunting down the sharks and ripping them apart to eat their organs.
The exodus of great whites from the coastal sites False Bay and Gansbaai had previously been blamed on illegal hunting and overfishing, among other causes.
But the results of a study conducted by a South African government-appointed team of experts suggest that orcas could be the culprits after a pair of killer whales was first sighted in the area in 2015.
In September, autopsies carried out on six great whites whose bodies had washed up in South Africa found the animals had been ripped open by orcas, who ate their livers, hearts and testicles.
“The sudden decrease in white shark numbers has been noted as a major concern,” said researchers who have been probing the decline.
The researchers said they “found some evidence for a causative link between the appearances of a pod of orcas that had specialised on preying on white sharks”.
I’ve heard of fish sticks but I never knew sharks had balls.
circa 1982: British glamour model, Samantha Fox, posing in a red basque and leaning against a mirror. She later enjoyed brief success as a pop star. (Photo by Peter Barry/Keystone/Getty Images)
Samantha Fox has divulged that she insured her breast for £1 million at the height of her modelling career.
The 54-year-old made a name for herself when she was just a teenager after appearing as a topless model on The Sun’s Page 3, and decided to insure her assets on the advice of her agent at the time.
“It was 500,000 each,” she shared with The Sun. “My agent said, ‘If Betty Grable can insure her legs, you can insure your boobs’.”
Fox retired from her Page 3 career in 1986 at age 20, then embarked on a music career. Her debut single, Touch Me (I Want Your Body) peaked at number three on the UK Singles Chart.
Addressing her popularity throughout the 1980s Fox, who was born In Mile End, added: “I think I was popular because I had a good figure, but I think lots of people liked me because when they heard me talking they realised I was just a working-class girl done good.
A PE teacher from Norfolk has been struck off after getting drunk and flashing her breasts at a school prom.
A teachers’ disciplinary panel heard Katherine Lake became ‘inappropriately inebriated’ after drinking eight glasses of wine at the Reepham High leavers’ prom in June 2019.
Mrs Lake, who was head of PE, also tried to sit on one pupil’s lap before falling over and smoked a cigarette outside the prom with another.
At some point during the evening, she entered a photo booth with five pupils and exposed her breasts in the final photograph.
Mrs Lake indicated that she had sought help and she had stated that she would not drink at school events again.
The panel decided Mrs Lake would be able to apply to have the prohibition order overturned within two years.
The suspension is only 2 years but the prom mammaries will last a lifetime.
A THUG who left his victim fearing for his life after threatening him with a machete has been given a lengthy prison sentence.
Florin Scorcea also launched a tirade of verbal abuse towards his Lovely Lane housemate before spitting at him and threatening to defecate on his dead relatives.
The 42-year-old, who was assisted at Liverpool Crown Court by a Romanian interpreter, was found guilty of making threats to kill, blackmail and two counts of assault by a jury following a trial.
Revisiting evidence heard during the trial before passing his sentence, judge David Swinnerton spoke of how on March 16, the defendant assaulted his first victim by shoving and swearing at him in the kitchen of their shared home.
This followed an argument in which his housemate wanted to discuss being kept awake by Scorcea playing loud music.
The following day, Scorcea’s two housemates were again in the kitchen when he entered the room to get another beer from the fridge.
He asked his second victim for money which he claimed he was owed. When the victim said he did not owe anything, the defendant decided that he would get the money using intimidation.
Scorcea threatened to slice his housemate up with a knife, rape his young daughter and defecate on his dead loved ones. He also used a lot of ‘highly abusive’ phrases and spat at him.
He said: “I will beat you until you are s******g your pants. I will mess you up.”
Later the same day, Scorcea once again confronted the same victim while holding a machete above his head and a knife in the other hand. Approaching him, he said: “I will kill you.”
A burglar struck the Indianapolis home an HGTV star, leaving a nasty calling card in the process.
Karen E Laine – the star of the Indianapolis-based home-flipping show Good Bones – says the recent break-in was the third time someone got into her home, and the second time an individual left a fecal surprise in her garage. The latest incident came the same day her youngest daughter got married. The burglar entered through a back gate before getting into their garage.
“Last Saturday someone came in, stole more things, and pooped in the garage,” says Laine.
After the first break-in, Laine found her husband’s bike stolen and poop left in a bucket in the garage.
“It seems very personal and intentional,” said Laine, adding that the suspect rummaged through their bathroom in the garage. “So they know we have a bathroom. That’s what makes it feel personal because it’s not, ‘Oh, I need to go to the bathroom.’ It’s, ‘I’m going to leave my feces behind for you to clean up.’”
You wouldn’t think the host of a home show would live in such a shithole.
A man who stole his neighbours’ dog before committing appalling sexual acts on it has been unable to explain why he did it.
Paul Brian Walton was sentenced to 12 months’ prison combined with a two-and-a-half year community correction order by the County Court of Victoria on Friday.
He had pleaded guilty to bestiality, animal cruelty, theft and drug possession over his actions in April this year.
On April 6 Walton stole a 12-year-old Kelpie cross named Gemma from a neighbouring farm.
The court heard the 53-year-old said in an assessment, “I don’t want it to keep happening.”
He “could not offer any insight into why he acted on his impulses”.
Police rescued the “visibly distressed” animal from Walton’s caravan at Ardmona near Shepparton the next day.
Pornography was playing on a television when police arrived.
They also found five grams of cannabis.
Judge Wraight said Walton stole the dog “to commit what can only be described as a serious act of animal cruelty”.
The 53-year-old had only been released from jail a few months earlier.
He was previously convicted for “very similar” offences involving three dogs.
Judge Wraight said Walton bore “assaults and harassment” in jail, “even within the sex offenders’ unit”.
That “Give Up the Booty” flag now takes on a deeply personal meaning for Walton. Good night, John Boy.
A Florida man hopped up on LSD randomly attacked a security guard from behind at Disney’s Animal Kingdom theme park, authorities said.
James Arvid, a 19-year-old from Pompano Beach, is facing a felony charge of battery after an Oct. 25 attack in the DinoLand USA section of the park, where he tackled the uniformed 41-year-old worker and put him in a headlock, according to an Orange County Sheriff’s Office report…
The guard managed to call for help using his radio, but guests at the Walt Disney World Resort park in Bay Lake near Orlando saw Arvid atop him and “subdued” the South Florida man until authorities arrived, according to the report.
“It appeared James was in a state of delirium and unexpected strength,” a deputy sheriff wrote, adding that he was bloody and “sweating profusely” while ignoring commands and repeatedly kicking his legs.
Arvid, who was restrained on a stretcher, later told a nurse at a hospital in Celebration he had taken drugs prior to the attack, sheriff officials said.
“I took LSD and tried to kill someone,” Arvid said, according to the report, claiming he did not remember any other details.
We do not tolerate violence of any kind on our property and appreciate those, including Orange County Sheriff’s Office deputies, who quickly came to the aid of this cast member,” Disney spokeswoman Erica Ettori told the outlet in a statement.
But magic mushrooms are still okay at the Magic Kingdom.
A Hooks police officer was punched in the face Monday by a woman who was allegedly upset that her pet pot belly pig was being impounded by the city.
Hooks Officer Cole Ogden and two public works employees were attempting to corral the “estray” pig in the intersection of Grant and Washington streets on Monday, according to a probable cause affidavit. The animal had been the subject of repeated citizen complaints and its owner, Arianne Swenson, 34, had been warned multiple times to “keep the pig put up.”
As Ogden and public works employees Jason Stokes and Logan Knight were attempting to detain the pig so animal control could impound it, Swenson allegedly came running toward them from down the street. Swenson allegedly shoved Stokes and Knight in an attempt to get them away from the wayward pig and disregarded orders from Ogden to “step back and let us do what we had to do.”
Swenson allegedly took a swing at Ogden with a closed fist, striking him in the face.
Swenson has been charged with assault on a public servant and faces two to 10 years in prison if convicted. She is currently being held in the Bowie County jail with bail set at $75,000.
Arianne Swenson’s husband, Aaron Caleb Swenson, 37, is currently being held in the Bowie County jail with bail set at $1 million. Aaron Swenson, an alleged member of the Boogaloo Bois, allegedly livestreamed himself on social media in April driving in the Texarkana area searching for a police officer to murder.
When arrested, Aaron Swenson was reportedly wearing body armor and had a substantial arsenal of weapons in his car, according to records. He’s charged in Bowie County, Texas, with attempted capital murder of a peace officer.
Say what you will but they are perfect for each other. Another eHarmony success story.
