Netflix Tries To Suck More With Michelle Obama Healthy Eating Puppet Show

When her husband was occupying the White House, Michelle Obama forced American school kids to eat disgusting small-portion “healthy” lunches. These mandated culinary crimes ended up in the garbage because they were inedible piles of a barf-like substance. Since this initiative was such a failure and extremely unpopular with kids, Netflix has decided to turn it into a TV show staring the former first lady and some puppets. Has anyone checked how Netflix stock is doing?

Here’s something that literally only one person is thrilled about:

It already looks beyond un-thrilling, but Forbes reports it’s also beyond lame:

Former first lady Michelle Obama announced Tuesday she is launching a new children’s show on Netflix entitled “Waffles + Mochi,” which will encourage healthy eating and cooking among youngsters and adults.

The show will focus on the two main characters, Waffles and Mochi, as they leave the Land of Frozen Food and “blast off on global ingredient missions, traveling to kitchens, restaurants, farms and homes all over the world.”

I can’t be certain, but I think these puppet characters are based on Michelle and Barack. I’m assuming  that the one with the waffle embedded in it’s head is “Waffles” and the either the bee or thing Michelle is holding (maybe a turnip) is “Mochi.” It’s probably the turnip because it has the same stupid face as “Waffles.”

Barack must be “Waffles” because he has been known to waffle on his positions and once caused massive rush-hour gridlock in Los Angeles because he had to stop at Roscoe’s for some chicken and waffles. Also the presence of the bee indicates it’s Barrack as he had an embarrassing incident involving a bee as he read to children in the Rose Garden.

Michelle must be “Mochi” because she once made a cringe-worthy video dancing with a turnip. Also, “Mochi” is close enough to “Moochi” and Michelle is most famous for mooching off of American taxpayers to fund her lavish vacations and high-end shopping trips.

“I’m excited for families and children everywhere to join us on our adventures as we discover, cook, and eat delicious food from all over the world,” said Michelle.

She honestly believes that families and children everywhere are going to watch this lame show, which is the kind of delusion that comes with narcissism. If you locked people in a room and told them they could either binge-watch “Waffles + Mochi” or gouge their eyes out with a spoon, most people would reach for the silverware.

It’s a show about healthy eating staring puppets and Michelle Obama. There is nothing in that sentence that doesn’t spell a ratings disaster because there’s nothing in there that is of interest to anyone. Just the fact that people would have to stare at Michelle Obama’s gooney face and manly physique for any period of time is a deal-breaker.

I don’t know what’s going on with Netflix. They’ve lost most of their content to other streaming services and have cancelled some of their more popular original shows. Now they are launching this doomed-to-fail project. Perhaps they are running a short-sell scam on their stock and need to tank it or maybe they just want to find new ways to suck.