An irreputable business in Afghanistan (DBA – ‘The Taliban’) is currently seeking 2160 virgins to fulfill their promise that each of their employees shall receive upon “termination,” 72 virgins. The need arose because at least 30 of their, presumptively newer employees done blowed themselves up while learning how to make bombs.
In my endless quest to discover something positive in this world of negativity in which we live, I visited Breitbart and found this little nugget of joy!
Accidental Blast During Bomb-Making Class Kills 30 Taliban Fighters
A group of Taliban jihadists gathered at a mosque in the village of Qultaq on February 13 to receive training on how to assemble bombs and improvised explosive devices (IED). An explosive device accidentally detonated, killing at least “30 Taliban fighters including six foreign nationals who were expert mine makers,” according to the Afghan Army’s 209th Shaheen Corps, which confirmed the deadly blast in a statement released Saturday. The bodies of the six Taliban-affiliated foreign nationals were rendered unidentifiable by the blast, according to the statement.
I can take a stab at identifying them. At least one was probably named Omar, Mohammed, Achmed, etc. Hey, I’m just trying to be helpful here.
In fact here’s Achmed before and after.
The Taliban has not commented on the incident. Such accidental explosions are fairly common in war-torn Afghanistan. A similar blast occurred at a mosque in Balkh’s Chahabar Bolak district in August.
“A group of eight Taliban IED experts were busy manufacturing a bomb inside a mosque in Sikandar Khel Village [when a] … premature explosion caused by [the] IED killed four Taliban militants and wounded at least four others,” Afghanistan’s Khaama Press reported at the time, citing a statement by Afghanistan’s Shaheen Corps.
“Experts?” How expert could they have been? You done blowed yourselves up! Or maybe they just got horny and decided to martyr themselves for the pleasures that had been promised them on the other side.
“The explosion also destroyed a large cache of explosives and other materials which the group was using to manufacture IEDs,” according to the statement.
Taliban militants were again “busy making a bomb” when another such explosion took place in Afghanistan’s eastern province of Andar in April 2020, according to Ava Press. Government officials in Andar’s Ghazni district confirmed that the blast killed at least four Taliban members.
I assume the blast killed a lot more than just these scumbag’s members. It probably removed arms, legs, and heads as well. 😉
“A month later, a bomb exploded in a house in the southern province of Zabul, where a group of militants had gathered to assemble the explosive, leaving the building destroyed and three militants, including the homeowner, dead,” the Defense Post recalled on Tuesday.
The Taliban terror group uses IEDs and other explosives to target Afghan government forces and personnel in the conflict-ridden country. The improvised bombings have also killed thousands of Afghan civilians over the past several years.
2,160. That’s a lot of virgins. I doubt that there’s that many virginal goats left in that country to fulfill that promise.
Bomb-making class. It is unclear whether A.O.C. will be able to make arrangements for the U.S. to pay off their student loans.
Tough luck, you assholes.
