This week Biden lied his ass off about voter laws, guns, and infrastructure, while the liberal media let it slide. That’s only WTF? in the sense that it shouldn’t be that way but it is. Here’s some other WTF? that shouldn’t be:
Headline of the Week
A Transgender Forced to Remove One of Her Testicles!
A transgender woman needed to have one of her testicles removed because of her habit of ‘tucking’ – made famous through hit TV show Ru Paul’s Drag Race.
The unidentified 24-year-old, from the Philippines, had not yet undergone full gender reassignment surgery.
The avid cross-dresser pushed her testicles back into her stomach four times a week ever since becoming an adult, in an effort to hide her genitals.
Her habit often caused her pain but she shrugged it off.
But when pulling her testicles back down into her scrotum during her final attempt, one of them twisted around the cord it dangles from.
The grisly accident – known as testicular torsion – left the woman in unbearable pain and cut off the blood supply to her genitals.
Without urgent treatment to get blood flowing again the testicle can die and have to be removed.
Her case — published in a medical journal — also revealed she would tuck her penis and empty scrotum back between her legs.
Doctors examined her testicles to get to the bottom of her agonising pain.
She initially requested to have both testicles removed. But just an hour after being informed the life-changing move would prevent her ever having children, she decided instead to just lose one.
Her testicles?
Dick Tracey of the Week
Police have tracked down the owner of a severed penis and testicle stocked in a man’s freezer after a second victim was mangled in a botched ‘surgery’.
Ryan Andrew King was charged with grievous bodily harm with intent to maim in July 2020 after he allegedly cut off a man’s testicle at a backpacker hostel in Brisbane.
The 28-year-old’s alleged victim, whom he met online, needed emergency medical treatment to stop blood gushing from the wound during the ‘surgical procedure’.
Paramedics were called to the hostel to treat the alleged victim and police searched King’s home in West End the day later.
Inside a freezer in his home, officers allegedly found a different, unknown, man’s penis and testicle [when] they conducted the search.
Through their investigations, which included observing King’s GoPro footage, police have now tracked down the other alleged victim, The Courier-Mail reported.
King allegedly travelled to Melbourne in 2018 to perform the consensual surgery for that victim.
He allegedly removed the 66-year-old man’s penis and one testicle and then travelled home to Brisbane with them, storing them in his freezer for up to two years.
The pair allegedly met up again on September 2, 2019 at accommodation in Loganholme, where King is accused of removing the other testicle.
The 66-year-old man never complained to police about the alleged procedure but visited Logan Hospital for treatment.
King was hit with a second charge of doing grievous bodily harm with intent to maim on September 22.
As my Grandmother would say: “This guy is nuttier than a fruitcake.”
Party of the Week
Hostile Macomb Workplace Included Penis-Theme Birthday Party
A former investigator for the Macomb County Medical Examiner’s Office has filed a federal lawsuit alleging she was subjected at work to a steady stream of racism, sexual harassment and public displays of graphic pornography, including nude photos on computer screen savers. At one point, someone brought a penis birthday cake to the office, which sat around for days.
Anjanette Beaver of Macomb County, who is described in the suit as a Native American woman, complained to management, but was met with retaliation, and eventually forced to quit last month because of untenable working conditons, according to the suit filed Friday in U.S. District Court in Detroit.
Specifically, the suit alleges:
Office staff made offensive sexual and racist comments about the anatomy of deceased persons and their families.
Two workers often referred to an employee of Egyptian ancestry as a “dyke,” “lezbo” and “gay.”
A worker identified only as L.P. texted Beaver a photo of a large naked Black man sitting at the edge of a bed with an erect penis.
Beaver was offended by dick?
Hat-Trick of the Week
Woman accused of groping a Kearney officer’s genitals three times Monday
Groping a Kearney Police Department officer’s genitals has a Kearney woman facing a sexual assault charge.
Araceli Neri-Arroyo, 46, of Kearney is charged in Buffalo County Court with felony third-degree assault on an officer and third-degree sexual assault, a misdemeanor. She was arrested Monday after an incident at Kearney Regional Medical Center.
Court records indicate the officer responded to a report of a disturbance by a patient, Neri-Arroyo, at KRMC. While talking to the woman Neri-Arroyo allegedly reached out with her hand and “cupped” or “grabbed” the officer’s genitals.
Records say the officer made clear loud statements to Neri-Arroyo to “not grab his genitals.” When the woman tried to grab the officer a third time, she was arrested.
Records don’t indicate what the woman was being treated for. Police had contact with the woman earlier Monday where records indicate she had “been causing problems.”
At the Buffalo County Jail Neri-Arroyo became combative when the officer tried to take off the handcuffs. Neri-Arroyo pulled away abruptly, hitting the officer in the face with his handcuffs and breaking the key off inside the cuffs.
As the officer tried to gain control of the woman, records indicate Neri-Arroyo bit him on his tricep. Another officer arrived and he helped the first officer get the handcuffs off the woman.
Ironically, she was being treated for a nut allergy.
Squatter of the Week
Pakistani man in M’sia hospitalised after genitals allegedly severed by group of assailants
A Pakistani man has been hospitalised in Malaysia after his genitals were reportedly severed by four assailants in Klang, Selangor…
According to the victim’s friend, Rizwan Ahmad, the incident happened on the night of April 4, Sunday, outside the Alam Impian Mosque.
Rizwan added that on the night of the incident, his friend was approached by the four men who allegedly asked him if he was married, and whether he had sex with his partner in Malaysia.
In response, the victim said that he was married, with his partner back in Pakistan, and that he has not had sexual relations in Malaysia.
One of the men then purportedly demanded that the victim take off his clothes and do 10 squats as punishment.
Assailants also asked why his penis was not erect after doing squats
This drew the assailants’ supposed response that his genitals should be cut since it could not erect and was therefore useless.
Despite the victim’s pleas to cut off his hands and legs instead, his genitals were severed, with the suspects fleeing after that.
Rizwan added that his friend managed to contact his friends for help afterwards, before passing out from the pain of his injuries.
The missing penis has yet to be found however.
The penis is with Allah now.
Snipper of the Week
Barber Arrested For Touching Client’s Genitals During Massage
A California barber has been arrested for sexual battery after he confessed to inappropriately touching a male client while giving him a massage, local police said.
Officers assigned to the Special Enforcement Detail arrested 61-year-old Rey Domingo on the afternoon of April 1 after police said he admitted to inappropriately touching one of his male clients after a haircut, according to a statement released by the Glendale Police Department.
The arrest stemmed from an unnamed victim’s complaint sent to the police at around 9:00 p.m. on March 2 that accused Domingo of inappropriately touching him while giving him a massage. Police said an investigation revealed the victim was a longtime patron of Domingo’s salon located along the S Artsakh Avenue and was attending his salon appointment when the incident occurred.
“The adult male victim attended the salon with an appointment to get his hair cut by [Domingo] whom he’d gone to for years to get his haircut,” police said. After the haircut, police said Domingo, “Offered the male a massage.” Authorities noted Domingo had never offered a massage before.
“During the massage the barber touched the male’s genitalia when the male explicitly told him not to. The victim then pulled away, paid for his haircut, and left the salon,” the police said.
After receiving the complaint, a detective from the department’s Assaults Bureau conducted an investigation and obtained a confession from Domingo regarding the incident.
Was he getting a “pube-hawk” because that would explain everything.
Sweet Potato of the Week
Angry Wife Stabs Husband’s Mistress In The Genitals After She Caught Them Having Sex
A Filipino woman stabbed her husband’s mistress in the vagina after she caught them having sex.
The incident was reported Tuesday, April 6, in the municipality of Mangaldan in Pangasinan, Philipines.
According to reports from the local media, Balitang Amianan, the victim, identified as Leslie, and another woman had visited the suspect’s home to buy some sweet potato.
The victim and her friend had come to buy the goods from the suspect’s husband, who was celebrating his birthday.
Because Marie, the suspect, allegedly thought that Leslie and her female companion were really just buying the goods, she left home for some work leaving the three behind.
When Marie returned she found her husband and the two women drinking and celebrating the birthday.
The woman immediately asked both the woman to leave the house. Marie who thought it was all over suddenly realized that her husband was nowhere to be seen in the house.
She set out to look out for her husband and after a while found him inside a hut having sex with the victim.
Furious over the sighting, the suspect grabbed a knife and began repeatedly stabbing the victim in her arms and vagina.
The suspect’s husband fled the scene while his wife attacked the woman he was having sex with. Marie then surrendered herself at a nearby police station.
The victim was rushed to a local hospital with serious injuries. Her current condition is unknown.
Now that’s a birthday party.
The Haves of the Week
Woman finds out she has two vaginas while giving birth
For 25 years, Brittany Jacobs had no idea she had two vaginas — until she went into labor.
“Oh honey, you have two vaginas, two cervixes and two uteruses,” a nurse finally told her while Jacobs was in the process of giving birth to her first child, the now-26-year-old recounted in a viral TikTok video which has racked up over 2.7 million views.
While Jacobs didn’t realize she had double anatomy, she had noticed that something was off in her nether regions, where she’d first observed as a young girl that she had two openings. “I always believed it was my hymen, and as I got older, I thought it was just really tough and maybe would break one day,” she told BuzzFeed.
She also had another sign that her body was unique. Despite considering herself to have a “really high pain tolerance,” she always had excruciating periods which were “so bad I would cry,” she said in the video.
She’d bleed through tampons in mere minutes, sex hurt terribly and her menstrual cramps were debilitating — but her doctors never told her she was in any way different, so she accepted the discomfort as a part of life.
Really, though, her problems were likely all symptoms of having what is called uterus didelphys, or double uterus, which is not such a rare occurrence.
Beats having a double asshole like everyone in the democratic party.
The Have Nots of the Week
A woman who was born without a vagina has told how she had to ‘make’ her own custom-made one so that she could have a ‘normal’ sex life and ‘re-claim’ her female body.
Ally Hensley, 39, from Berkshire, has opened up about being diagnosed with a rare condition known as Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser Syndrome (MRKH) aged 16, which means she was born without a vagina.
MRKH, also known as Mullerian Agenesis, affects around one in 5,000 women globally and people with the condition are usually diagnosed in their late teens when they don’t experience a period.
Speaking to Mamamia, the writer, who was born without a womb, cervix and vagina and posts about her condition on her Instagram page @Ally_Hensley, explained: ‘During one of my first medical appointments, it was explained that the length of my vagina was roughly the length of a fingernail.’
‘My “dimple”, as they commonly call it, was extremely under-developed. If I wanted to have a ‘normal’ sex life and re-claim my female body, I would have to create my very own, custom-made vagina.’
‘At the time there were two options – surgery or dilation – and I chose the latter as the less invasive treatment.’
Ally went on to explain that for nine ‘traumatic’ months – morning and night – she would insert pink hard tubes into the fingernail-sized dimple and push hard.
She added that eventually, the routine would create her a vagina.
I just love her DIY spirit plus she’s a Def Leppard fan.
More Have Nots of the Week
Woman born with one breast due to rare syndrome refuses to get free NHS boob job
A young woman was shocked to discover she had a rare syndrome after only one of her breasts grew during puberty.
Becca Butcher, a real estate receptionist, was told by a doctor that her chest would eventually even out, but it took years before she would be diagnosed with Poland syndrome.
As a teen she spent hours researching how to increase breast growth to boost the tissue and even used ill-fitting bras in an attempt to even out, reports YorkshireLive.
Poland syndrome is more common in men, but means that individuals are born with missing or underdeveloped muscles on one side of their body.
This can cause abnormalities in the hand, arm, shoulder and chest.
Becca said: “I realised that my boobs were different sizes as a teenager, a friend pointed out to me that one was bigger than the other and that’s when I realised it was so noticeable that other people could see it too.
“I’d look around at all the other girls my age who had two boobs but I still only had one and it made me feel very self conscious.
“I asked my doctor for help but they told me that my chest was ‘normal’ and ‘would grow eventually’ like how some girls get their periods later than others.”
“As soon as I was diagnosed with Poland Syndrome my doctors offered me a free boob job on the NHS.
“I know most girls would jump at the chance of a free boob job but I didn’t want to change myself, I just wanted to know why my chest was deformed.
She added: “it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks about my chest, it only matters what I think.”
I can’t wait for the Uni-Boob vs. No-Vag Marvel superhero movie.
Dear Def-Con News: Weekly Advice Column
Why Do So Many Men With Big Penises Think They Have Small Ones?
It’s called being humble – DCN
How Do I Tell My Partner I’m Scared of His Huge Penis?
You just did, sweetie – DCN
It’s more of a scared turtle kind of thing – DCN
Why Are Evangelicals Googling About Penis Size?
God told them to – DCN
Hello, Is This Building Actually Called Penis?
No, the Penis building is next to Testicle Terrace on Johnson Ave. Also, this is The Week in WTF? If you need directions try the Def-Con News GPS app GTFO!- DCN
Why Is Getting Kicked In The Balls So Painful?
If you have to ask, you don’t have ’em – DCN
Was a Miami Stripper Arrested for Squirting Vaginal Fluids at Police?
Yes and she was charged with assault with a smelly weapon – DCN
Do You Ever Forget About a Tampon?
I drink to forget a lot of things – DCN
Can masturbating really get rid of period pain?
No, but it does wonders for the exclamation point – DCN
What is pelvic scoring and how valuable is it for calving?
You got me – DCN
Blowjob of the Week
Woman’s Abdominal Cavity Inflated Like A Balloon During Oral Sex
A 24-year-old woman showed up at the emergency department of Stanford University, California, after experiencing severe abdominal and chest pain, which had lasted for 6 hours. Her pain was sharp, and had moved from her lower right quadrant – the bottom right of her belly – before moving upwards and spreading. Other than the pain, which was aggravated as she moved, she was experiencing no other symptoms.
However, she had experienced it several times before, 6 and 12 months before this particular visit.
Despite tests on both prior occasions, no cause was found, and the air was gradually reabsorbed by surrounding tissue, which usually takes place within a week, her team writes in the Journal of the Society of Laparoendoscopic Surgeons. This time, a complete sexual history was taken, and the cause of her inflation explained: her partner had inflated her like a balloon.
“The patient revealed that she had intercourse, during which her partner forcefully blew air into her vagina prior to all episodes of pneumoperitoneum,” the team explained.
Her partner both sucks and blows at eating pussy.
Money Shot of the Week
Bronx man fatally shot in butt
A 21-year-old man died after being shot in the rear end behind a Bronx apartment building early Wednesday morning, police reported.
Cops said the deadly shooting happened at about 12:22 a.m. on April 7 within the Claremont Parkway-Franklin Houses public housing complex at 544 Claremont Pkwy., across the way from Crotona Park.
Officers from the 42nd Precinct and NYPD PSA 7, in responding to a 911 call about the incident, found the victim unconscious and unresponsive with a gunshot wound to his buttocks.
EMS rushed the victim to St. Barnabas Hospital, where he was pronounced dead a short time later. Police have withheld his identity, pending family notification.
Though the motive for the shooting remains unknown, law enforcement sources said, detectives are investigating whether the victim may be a member of a known street gang. He was said to have 20 prior arrests.
Or maybe don’t waste money investigating this one and chalk it up to street justice.
Fling of the Week
Kimberly Kessler Tasered after throwing feces on officers at jail, report shows
A woman awaiting trial in the murder of her Nassau County salon co-worker is facing new charges after authorities said she threw feces on corrections officers at the jail.
Kimberly Kessler was hit was a stun gun during the incident Monday.
Authorities said corrections officers asked Kessler to move to another cell so hers could be sanitized. She took feces she’d saved in a Styrofoam cup and threw it at them, they said. The officers then stunned her.
Kessler was charged with two counts of assault on a law enforcement officer.
It was not the first time she was reported to have thrown feces while being a disruption in the jail. Corrections officers have been heard telling the judge during pretrial hearings about previous incidents.
Her defense lawyers are trying to get the physical evidence thrown out.
Isn’t the throwing part the problem here?
Decoder Ring of the Week
Man jailed for stealing decoder & defecating in utensils of friend
The Atebubu has sentenced Daniel Sanbiani, a carpenter to nine-month imprisonment for stealing a multi-tv decoder.
The convict was sentenced on his own plea by the court which, was presided over by His Lordship Joseph Twumesi.
The convict stole the decoder from his bosom friend, one Elijah Brako.
After stealing the decoder, he reportedly defecated in some cooking utensils belonging to the friend and covered them.
He confessed to the crime after he was arrested by the Police.
Daniel Sanbiani said he defecated in the utensils because he was suffering from a running g stomach.
With friends like that, who needs enemas?
Whack Job of the Week
Former public defense attorney Jami Pellerin filed a lawsuit against District Public Defender G. Paul Marx accusing him of firing her from the 15th Judicial District Indigent Defender’s Office in Lafayette, Louisiana, after she reported his inappropriate comments to human resources.
Pellerin claims her boss repeatedly made sexual and sexist remarks to her in the three years she worked there including asking her about her sex life, telling her to dress ‘less attractive’ and warning her he could fire her for being ‘too attractive.’
In the 28-page lawsuit filed in Lafayette last week, Pellerin says Marx would often ask her about her sex life and whether she was going to get pregnant.
It claims the comments started straight away with Marx asking her when she was first hired if she was married and warning her the office couldn’t afford maternity pay if she became pregnant.
When she returned to work after getting married in 2018, Pellerin claims Marx repeatedly asked her if she was pregnant yet.
The suit cites one particular incident in September 2019 where Marx as well as HR Director Chris St. Julien and staff attorney Janet Brown allegedly told her that her outfits were inappropriate and she should dress more ‘like a nun’.
Pellerin was told her appearance was causing inmates at the parish jail to masturbate and that it was her responsibility to dress ‘less attractive,’ the suit alleges.
Marx allegedly told her: ‘Men don’t have self control. As their attorney and an employee of the public defender, you have to protect these men from their basic instinct by being less attractive.’
Pellerin claims she was also warned she would be fired if she didn’t correct the situation by changing her outfit choices.
Prisoners would also masturbate to nuns. Just sayin’.
Tourist of the Week
Driver found with corpse on wrong side of highway
A man who was stopped for driving on the wrong side of the road in Catalonia was found to have a dead body in the front passenger seat.
Police made the grim discovery after the 66-year-old suddenly turned around at the checkpoint between Spain and France.
Investigators believe the deceased, an 88-year-old man, had been dead for about three weeks.
They say the driver may have been taking him home to Switzerland.
The body, believed to be the driver’s partner, had started to decompose. It was covered with a blanket and was wearing a seatbelt…
The driver was initially heading towards France on Thursday and arrived at the La Jonquère border checkpoint.
Upon seeing police, he turned around and drove 30km (19 miles) back into Spain, this time on the wrong side of the motorway.
He eventually left the motorway and took a local road, where he had a crash in the town of Jafre shortly before noon.
France Bleu reports that toll and parking tickets found in the car suggest the driver may have chauffeured his deceased partner to various locations before being discovered, including visits to Madrid, Vilafranca del Penedès and even Italy despite travel restrictions because of the pandemic.
So there’s a right side of the road for corpses in Spain?
Hunter Biden of the Month
Former St. Landry deputy convicted of incest in New Mexico
A former St. Landry Parish sheriff’s deputy was convicted in New Mexico of incest after he had sex with a teenage relative.
Leon Boudreaux was found guilty after a jury trial last month, according to court filings. He faces up to three years in prison, his attorney, Lisa Torraco, said in an email.
He was arrested in February 2019 in Raton, New Mexico, after an 18-year-old relative told police there that Boudreaux forced the teen to have sex in a hotel room. The victim said the sexual abuse had gone on for four years, according to an arrest report.
Boudreaux was facing three counts — one count of incest and two counts of first-degree criminal sexual penetration, when a victim is forced or coerced and suffers bodily harm or mental anguish.
But the two rape charges were dropped by a judge in November after Torraco argued there was no factual basis to support them and the judge said prosecutors didn’t provide supporting evidence.
“Mr. Boudreaux is happy at the dismissal of the rape charges,” Torraco said. “Mr. Bourdreaux is not a rapist.”
Not a rapist, just a cousin-f*cker.
Step Dad of the Week
Florida man had baby on lap during motorcycle crash, police say
A Florida man was arrested Thursday after crashing a motorcycle while riding on it with a 17-month-old baby on his lap, investigators said.
Clearwater police said Dontrell Stanley, 35, ran a stop sign and thought he was going to hit an oncoming vehicle, so he dropped the motorcycle, WTVT reported.
The baby was thrown from the motorcycle and landed beneath the car, the Tampa Bay Times reported. She was taken to a hospital with critical injuries.
Stanley, the child’s stepfather, was taken to a hospital for treatment. He was then arrested and charged with child neglect with great bodily harm and operating a motorcycle without a license, according to jail records.
How you gonna make a black man put a baby seat on a motorcycle. This is racist.
WTF? of the Week
Father of three drowns in manure pit while working at Colorado dairy
Juan Panzo Temoxtle, 44, died after a manure vacuum truck he was operating sunk into a manure pit at the Shelton Dairy on March 31.
Project to Protect Food System Workers, an advocacy group for Colorado agriculture workers, released details of his death this week.
According to the group’s press release, Temoxtle “was operating the manure vacuum truck when it appeared to have lurched forward and fell into the manure pit, submerging the cab of the truck in the fetid liquid manure….”
The release goes on to say the father of three children was trapped inside the truck for 30 minutes before workers were able to get the truck free from the pit using a forklift.
Temoxtle was later declared dead at the hospital on March 31.
According to the press release, Temoxtle started at the facility six weeks before his death. His family is in Mexico.
“Juan loved sports, particularly fútbol and basketball. Juan is remembered for his positive spirit and sense of humor he brought to even the most difficult of situations,” a GoFundMe page said.
If he truly had a sense of humor, he would be laughing his ass off over his own death.
