Home
Did Joe Biden Hit Jimmy Carter With A Shrink Ray?

Did Joe Biden Hit Jimmy Carter With A Shrink Ray?

There was a passing of the torch from the previous worst president to the current one when Joe Biden met Jimmy Carter last weekend. There’s nothing monumental about two crappy democrats meeting each other except for the picture they took together. It honestly looks like Joe Joe might have hit Jimbo with a shrink ray because the Bidens tower over the Carters.

Here’s something that would be more appropriate in our The Week in WTF? column:

Holy f*cking shit! Either the Bidens are giants or the Carters are Hobbits. Jill looks like she is twice the size of Jimmy. Actually, it kind of looks like the Bidens got a hold of a couple of Carter ventriloquist dummies.

If this is the photo they approved for release, how bad are the ones they discarded?

I get it that old people shrink, but Joe’s almost as old as Jimmy. Why didn’t he shrivel up too? Maybe he bathes in the blood of virgins to keep his “youthful” appearance like Countess Elizabeth Bathory.

Joe Biden is 6 feet tall. Jimmy Carter is 2 inches shorter at 5′ 10″. Jill Biden is 5′ 6″ and yet she looks like LeBron James guarding an elementary school basketball player in this picture. Next to Joe Biden, Roslyn Carter looks like one of those dolls they give child victims to show where the molester touched them inappropriately.

Some may try to chalk this bizarre picture up to being a trick of perspective, but the Bidens are essentially parallel to the Carters so that’s not a thing. Also, you may notice that the furniture in the Carters’ house is scaled down as if they live in a doll house.

Here’s a picture from the 70’s when Joe and Jimmy were roughly the same size:

And here’s a more recent shot of the 2 men in which Jimmy looks like he lost an inch:

None of this explains how Joe Biden is now two times the size of Jimmy Carter.

I speculated that Joe hit Jimmy with a shrink ray, but what would be the reason behind that? I’m not saying Biden isn’t crazy enough to think about shrinking Carter, but even in his senility, there’s no real purpose for that.

What I do think has happened is that Biden has literally drained Carter of his shitty governance abilities and caused him to shrivel up.

Think about it: Biden has always been a swamp-dwelling horrible elected representative but Carter is the worst president in modern American history. Since Biden stole the White House, he has miraculously become even worse than he was. The only thing that can explain this is that Biden sucked out all of Carter’s suckiness.

On the bright side Joe Biden isn’t sniffing Roslyn Carter’s hair in the picture. That however is probably due to the fact that Joe would have inhaled the diminutive Roslyn.