In America, the liberal media often gives Joe Biden a metaphorical handjob in the form of friendly coverage. In England the media still gives Biden good press but, in weird turn of events, has indicated that Biden gave British PM Boris Johnson a handjob. Fake news is universal, but the application differs depending on location.
The key to crafting a good fake news story is to make it somewhat believable. There is nobody on the planet who doubts this:
Joe Biden to give Boris a hand in sausage war as he tries to beat off EU
Screenshot for posterity:
Now that I look at the headline again, it would seem as if JoBi and BoJo are tag-teaming to give the entire European Union a handjob.
They say headlines are hard but this one literally has an erection.
Like all good fake news, the headline doesn’t exactly match the article. There’s nothing about the gay exploits of Biden and Johnson, though at one point the writer noted that Biden will “stand behind” Johnson. It also mentions that Biden is “rock-solid” and that Johnson says this is “very doable.”
Since there isn’t enough material for a full article, I’m going to turn this into a mini The Week in WTF? with this other curious headline I found at Illinois News Today:
Drug March Four Change: LGBTQ + Community, Allies Make Second March to Support Black Lives Matter
A drug march to support Black Lives Matter? That’s believable. The story is actually about a drag queen march to support BLM, but whoever wrote it has typo-itis:
Chicago (WLS)-After the murder of George Floyd last year, Joe Mama organized a drug march for change.
“I was thinking of doing this. Let’s get all the brothers and sisters of the drug together and try to make a difference,” they said. (emphasis mine)
Drugs it is. Not only has that article been up for almost a day without correction, Illinois News Today wrote a second article about this march:
“Drug March for Change” Raises Awareness of Black Lives Matter and Transgender Rights
This article, written by an entirely different person from the first, also leans heavy on the idea that there was a drug march in Chicago:
As part of Chicago’s second drug march for change, hundreds marched to Chicago’s North Side on Saturday, demanding fairness and support for Black Lives Matter and transgender rights. (emphasis mine)
What this means is that there are 2 writers at Illinois News Now and at least one editor who don’t know the difference between drag queens and drugs. It also means that nobody reads Illinois News Today because both articles have been online for nearly a day and nobody has pointed out the error to them.
This is what happens to the fake news industry with no Donald Trump to lie about. They don’t know what to do with their pent-up bullshit so they end up writing stories about Joe Biden whacking off the European Union and drug marches to support Black Lives Matter.
And again, good fake news is believable fake news and all of these headlines seem like something that really happened.
