Yesterday the press erupted in laughter when Joe Biden threatened to run one of them over for asking a question but the liberal media is paid to kiss his ass. Today, he gave the commencement speech for the Coast Guard graduating class and his jokes completely bombed. This prompted the the illegitimate president to insult the graduates because he really is a shit human being.
Biden was honing his stand-up routine at the United States Coast Guard Academy’s 140th Commencement and it still needs a lot of work:
“Hello Coast Guard Academy. I tell you what, we’re gonna speak for about 4 hours and see if those white uniforms last longer to keep the heat away than these poor guys in their graduation gowns,” said Biden.
Biden laughed. Nobody else did. Biden then gave a shout-out to former Senator Chris Dodd and one person clapped. He also acknowledged, “Mayor Ma Ma Mayor Pasao.”
From there Biden made a “joke” about this being “your father’s Coast Guard” that elicited a smattering of claps followed by a “joke” about “Mrs. Paula Springer’s cookies” that was ignored.
In listing the sacrifices cadets made to make it graduation, Biden bombed with this one:
“You got a haircut that shows every damn bump on your head,” said Biden.
Crickets.
“You still were able to bring your cars on campus, just weren’t allowed to go anywhere in those cars. Ha ha, I tell you what, I have trouble watching my car sit there,” Biden said.
You could actually hear Biden’s arteries hardening in the uncomfortable silence following that joke.
At least 5 times during this speech, Biden pulled a “Jeb Bush” and had to tell the graduates it was okay for them to clap. Which brings us to this:
“You will enjoy educating your family about how the Coast Guard is, quote, the hard nucleus around the Navy form in times of war,” said Biden.
That was apparently a joke but nobody got it so Biden ripped the graduates:
“You are a, you’re a really dull class. C’mon man, is the sun getting to you? I would think you’d have an opportunity when I say that about the Navy to clap,” said Biden.
In the graduates’ defense, Biden says so much off-the-wall shit that it’s impossible to tell when he’s serious or joking. In this case, it was literally impossible to interpret that as a joke.
And the way I know this was supposed to be a joke is because Biden said “all kidding aside” immediately after. How can you put the kidding aside when it was never in the way in the first place?
All this happened in the first 12 minutes of Biden’s 30-minute speech. I couldn’t bring myself to watch past that point because I still kind of enjoy living my life.
I would like to point out that Biden was reading off a teleprompter, which means that one of his handlers wrote these jokes and thought they were hilarious. It’s actually a frightening thought that the people who control Biden are this detached from reality.
Obama liked to tell really bad “dad” jokes. They weren’t funny but at least you could tell they were supposed to be jokes. Joe Biden’s “jokes” are indistinguishable from all of the other nonsense that comes out of his mouth.
The sad thing is, Biden is actually pretty funny, just not intentionally funny. If the White House really wants to knock ’em dead with a great comedy routine, just let Biden go off-script for 10 minutes.
