What part of ‘get woke, go broke’ don’t you understand, Vicky? Lingerie giant Victoria’s Secret is dumping their signature supermodel Angels in favor of a bunch of ugly dumpy feminists like America-hating soccer player Meghan Rapinoe. The only way this move pays off is if suddenly butch lesbians want to trade their flannels and combat boots for crotchless undies.
Fox News reports:
Victoria’s Secret has done away with their world-famous Angels supermodels.
The lingerie and comfort wear company has said goodbye to the models, who have for years, famously strutted down the runway wearing over-the-top ensembles featuring feathers and rhinestones that weighed in at nearly 30 pounds…
In their place, Victoria’s Secret has launched a campaign with high-profile women known for their accomplishments rather than their figures.
Soccer star Megan Rapinoe, freestyle skier Eileen Gu, model and advocate Paloma Essler, actress Priyanka Chopra Jonas, transgender model Valentina Sampaio, model and South Sudanese refugee Adut Akech and photographer Amanda de Cadenet are among those to spearhead the campaign…
The women will work with the retailer to redefine what the word “sexy” means as the company faces competition and pressure to be inclusive of women with various body types…
Let’s take a look at what Victoria’s Secret hopes will redefine sexy:
Meagan Rapinoe – Is that a woman?
Eilen Gu – Flat-chested bra model
Paloma Essler – It’s a good year to be a blimp
Priyanka Chopra Jonas – Yikes
Valentina Sampaio – If there’s an apple, there’s a banana
Adut Akech – Nope
Amanda de Cadenet – Woof!
Ugly is the new sexy. Mailboxes across the country will reject the new Victoria’s Secret catalog.
Somehow, this gets funnier:
Now, Victoria’s Secret hopes to become a global “advocate” for female empowerment, their chief executive Martin Waters said…
“When the world was changing, we were too slow to respond. We needed to stop being about what men want and to be about what women want,” said Waters.
Women don’t get lingerie because it’s comfortable to wear under their clothes, they get it because men find it sexy. They buy this stuff to turn men on. Period. Talk about a guy who has no idea what business he’s in. This is like Smith & Wesson marketing to Moms Demand Action.
And finally, here’s what Victoria’s Secret is getting from Meagan Rapinoe:
Rapinoe, 35, said that the company was sending a “really harmful” message that was “patriarchal, sexist, viewing not just what it meant to be sexy but what the clothes were trying to accomplish through a male lens and through what men desired. And it was very much marketed toward younger women.”
They probably could have had Rapinoe slamming their brand for free, instead of paying her to do it.
Wouldn’t it have been much easier for Victoria’s Secret to simply file for bankruptcy? This seems like a needlessly complicated way to drive the company into the ground.
