So far in Biden’s short and illegitimate presidency he’s pretty much been Santa Clause for scumbags. He’s gifted illegal aliens with open borders, gave Russia a pipeline, and, just this week, bestowed the Taliban with an entire country. Here’s some other scumbag WTF? from this week that seems like presents for your funny bone , though much less generous:
Headline of the Week
For want of a toilet, a Mumbai boy had to die
Mohammad Akbar Shaikh’s neighbors remember him as a child who never picked fights with anyone. He was friendly with everyone in the neighborhood. Which is why, after his tragic death on August 3, his mother said that the whole neighborhood cried for him.
On the morning of August 3, Mohammad left his house at around 8 am to use the toilet. He lived with six family members in one of the shanties lining the narrow lanes of Sanjay Nagar area in Govandi’s Shivaji Nagar in Mumbai. The slum pocket, with a predominantly Muslim population, is located on the banks of the Deonar dumping ground, Asia’s largest landfill that receives around 9,000 metric tonnes of waste per day.
Like most young people in the area, Mohammad would defecate near a nullah, or drain, filled with garbage that overlooked the dumping ground.
This part of Sanjay Nagar has only two public toilets, both of which are at least 10-15 minutes away from Mohammad’s home. Additionally, the toilets are crowded and pay-to-use so, just like any other day, Mohammad set off for the nullah to do his business.
But he never returned.
According to a preliminary police report, Mohammad slipped and fell in the nullah. It took an hour for someone to sound the alarm and for him to be pulled out. The man who rescued him couldn’t even see Mohammad through the garbage; he had to feel around for the body with his foot. Locals then tied their dupattas and vests together to haul him out.
Mohammad was still breathing at that point. By the time they got him to Shatabdi hospital, around 4-5 km away, he was dead.
Nobody wanted to perform CPR on the kid fished out of a river of shit.
Dick of the Week
Prisoners ‘cut out paedophile’s heart with toothbrush and stuffed penis in his mouth’
Three prisoners reportedly killed a fellow inmate by stabbing him in the neck and cutting his heart out with a sharpened toothbrush before hacking off his penis and stuffing it in his mouth.
Convicted paedo Alex Sandro de Souze Mota, 30, was found dead by prison guards on the floor of his cell with his heart removed and his penis stuffed in his mouth.
The mauled corpse was discovered at Peco prison in the city of Cruzeiro do Oeste in the Brazilian state of Parana on Wednesday (18th August).
News site Ndmais reported Mota, who was serving time for raping his five-year-old stepdaughter, died as a result of a blow to the neck carried out by an unidentified inmate.
The police reported that they believe three inmates, identified only as L.B.R., K.R.I. and J.M.S.C., were responsible for the killing.
L.B.R., 22, is believed to have killed Mota by stabbing him in the neck with a toothbrush while K.R.I., 22, and J.M.S.C., 31, assisted by mutilating Mota’s corpse.
The victim’s heart was reportedly chopped out and put in a plastic container and his penis was removed and placed in his mouth.
The suspects then allegedly cleaned up the cell hoping that forensics would not be able to pin the crime on them.
Pedo deado.
Asshole of the Week
Greeley man who murdered woman with toilet plunger handle gets life sentence
Jesus Romero, who was convicted of brutally killing a woman in his Greeley apartment in 2018, was sentenced to life in prison Thursday morning.
A Weld District Court Judge gave Romero the life sentence after he was found guilty of first-degree felony homicide, criminal negligent homicide, and sexual assault in the killing of 58-year-old Edna Woodrum.
Romero called 911 on April 25, 2018 and told dispatchers his neighbor was not responding and lying in a pool of blood. Officers found a bloody Woodrum lying naked, dead on the floor in Romero’s senior living facility apartment. A neighbor reported hearing an argument and three hard thumps against the wall.
Romero told police that Woodrum had agreed to have sex with him, which is why she was in his apartment. Evidence later showed that Romero and Woodrum were not in a relationship and had not socialized in the past.
An investigation uncovered that detectives believe Woodrum bled to death, after a 17.5 inch wooden handle from a bathroom plunger was found sticking out of her anus.
“It’s disgusting and repulsive,” Jessica Bridgman, the victim’s daughter said at the sentencing. “He is a monster and shows in human form that evil does exist on this earth. The world needs to know evil can even be our next door neighbor and we must always be aware, at all times, no matter what.”
Send him to the same prison as the dick in the mouth guy.
Frenemy of the Week
A McKinleyville man suspected of shooting his friend in the groin was held to answer today on charges that could put him in prison for life.
After hearing the victim and a Eureka police detective testify during a preliminary hearing, visiting Judge Marjorie Lord Carter held 35-year-old Cory Michael Nelson to answer on charges of assault with a firearm, attempted robbery, mayhem, weapons charges and several special allegations.
Victim “John Doe,” 52, testified that about 1:30 a.m. on February 15, he and Nelson’s wife, Maria Nelson, met at his house in Eureka and drove to the Bear River Casino to gamble. Doe said he considered both Maria and Cory Nelson his friends.
Doe had won between $3,000 and $4,000 at another casino a few days before, and he still had $1,800 to $2,000 in an envelope in the console of his Ford pickup truck. When they arrived at Bear River Casino he removed $100 from the envelope for himself and gave Maria $100. They went into the casino, he said, went their separate ways to gamble and left about 5:30 a.m.
Under questioning by Deputy District Attorney Trent Timm, Doe said he believed Maria saw the money in the envelope when he was taking out the cash.
When they returned to Doe’s house on Ninth Street, Maria wanted to come in and have a drink. Then Cory Nelson arrived, and within two minutes Doe had been shot with a 9mm handgun, with the bullet passing through his penis and one testicle and exiting his thigh. The testicle was later removed because of the high risk of infection.
Is “wang nut” the past tense of wing nut?
Nut of the Week
Healthcare TikToker Shares How An Anti-Vaxxer Cut His Own Testicle Off To Remove ‘A Tracker’
A healthcare worker has revealed the extremes anti-vaxxers will go to if they believe that a microchip has been implanted into their body.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, misinformation has been a serious issue, whether it’s convincing people to not take safety precautions against a virus that has killed millions or more overtly odd behaviour.
A nurse on TikTok (@futurenurseut) shared the lengths some will go to when they have a conspiracy theory on their mind. The result has shocked people and led to concerns about the patient’s wellbeing.
The nurse explained that the patient believed that when he got a COVID-19 vaccine, he was implanted with a tracker that travelled down to his testicle. As a result, the man decided to cut off his testicle and investigate while he was at home by himself. When he began bleeding ‘profusely’ he realised he should call an ambulance, and it turned out that he had hit an artery while performing the operation.
Safe to say, there were no foreign elements in his testicle, but an incredible story that has amazed people. However, the reasoning behind the incident was even more bizarre. In a separate TikTok, the nurse revealed that the man claimed that he was kidnapped by a gang who forced him to get the vaccine. It is unclear whether there is evidence to support this story.
I think there’s compelling evidence that none of this shit ever happened.
Revealation of the Week
Man accused of exposing himself in front of child at church
A Craighead County man faces a sexual indecency with a child charge after investigators say he exposed himself in front of a child at a church.
Craighead County sheriff’s deputies arrested Jason Williams, 35, of Bono on Tuesday, Aug. 17 following a weeks-long investigation.
According to a probable cause affidavit, the incident happened on July 28 at Herman Baptist Church near Bono.
“Allegations had been made that on Wednesday evening, July 28, 2021, Jason Williams had allegedly revealed his testicles to (child) while attending church services at Herman Baptist Church,” investigators said in the affidavit. “Further accusations were that Jason Williams continued to attempt to gratify himself sexually as the juvenile walked away from him.”
According to the court documents, Williams admitted to the allegations being truthful during questioning and said he was sorry for the incident.
“Nuts for Jesus” means you’re crazy for Our Lord, you moron.
Kabob of the Week
Climber Still Recovering Months After “Anal Impalement” Accident at Rock Gym
On June 17th, Brandon Frohbieter climbed about 12 feet up an autobelay route when he decided it looked fun and he wanted to try it. He wasn’t clipped in yet. He jumped down and was impaled by a pvc pipe. The pvc pipe was there to hold up plastic ‘fencing,’ since adjacent to the route he was on routesetting was underway.
Brandon explains: “I was at the gym and rocking around on an autobelay route. I went up a little bit off the ground and it was pretty sweet so I was gonna hop down and actually go up the route. I looked down my right shoulder, and I just saw the ground, so I just kind of dropped from the wall. I was probably about 12 feet off the ground and I just landed down straight on that pipe. I started screaming at the top of my lungs. I thought up until the moment it happened I was just expecting to hit the ground…And I had no idea what happened. I just knew that I was in excruciating pain. And something terrible had happened. And I couldn’t really feel my bottom half and I knew blood was pooling around.”
Frohbieter, of Gig Harbor, Washington, was evacuated to a nearby ER, where imaging revealed that his extensive injuries included a fractured sacrum, coccyx, tibial plateau, and burst T7 vertebrae.
Brandon, however, has only good things to say about the gym and the gym owner. “It’s the dark side of the sport,” he said, “it’s the risk and the consequence.”
If anal impalement is a risk of your sport, get a new sport.
He-Man of the Week
Aussie Woman Rejected From Breast Enhancement Because She’s Too Skinny
An Australian woman has been rejected from getting a breast enhancement because she’s too skinny.
Tara Jayne McConachy appeared on The E! channel’s show Botched to see whether plastic surgeons Paul Nassif and Terry Dubrow could help her.
The 32-year-old nurse from Melbourne wants to up her cup size because she noticed wrinkling around the top of her breasts.
She was hoping larger breasts would smooth out the skin and give her a more youthful appearance.
She told the show: “Everything is tiny on me except for my tatas [breasts]… I’m on a quest for a bigger chest! I currently have 540 CCs [of breast implant silicone], and I’m just not happy with them at all.
However, her hopes were shattered when she knocked on Dr Nassif’s and Dr Dubrow’s door.
Hoping they would green light the surgery and give her the ‘tatas’ she has always dreamed of, they knocked her back.
They explained the ‘rippling effect’ that was happening to her breasts at the moment was due to her previously large implants.
The surgeons said the skin around the top is very thin and if she gets 1,000CCs of silicon implanted then it could be very damaging.
They told her to gain 5 per cent of her body weight and then she could reignite the conversation about getting approval for her breast augmentation.
Woman?
Hideout of the Week
Woman was high on meth when boyfriend and husband shot each other
A bizarre story unfolding in Creola when a shootout happened Sunday night, involving a woman, her husband, and her lover.
Frank and Tracy Reeves live on Skidmore Road in Creola. Neighbors said they keep to themselves and things are normally quiet, until Sunday night when shots rang out.
Deputies said Frank Reeves got into a gun battle inside the home with a man he thought was an intruder, but investigators said that man, Michael Amacker, is Tracy Reeves’s boyfriend.
According to deputies, Tracy was letting Amacker live inside the home for more than a year, and her husband never had a clue.
But Sunday night, that secret began to unravel.
Investigators said both men shot each other. Frank was hit in the chest. Amacker was shot in the leg and elbow, and both were taken to the hospital.
Mobile County Sheriff’s Captain Paul Burch said Amacker and Tracy Reeves were high on methamphetamines, calling this one of the most bizarre cases he’s ever seen.
Amacker is charged with attempted murder, possession of a controlled substance, and possession of a firearm with an altered serial number.
Deputies said Amacker apparently limited his trips to the bathroom to stay hidden, because they found bottles in his room full of urine.
How did the husband not know there was an extra dick in the house?
Ghost Rider of the Week
‘Drunk’ woman in NYC taxi was actually dead
A taxi driver in Queens made a chilling discovery Tuesday morning when his passenger — whom he was told was drunk — turned out to be dead, cops said.
An unidentified person hailed the cab and directed the driver to take the supposedly-inebriated woman to an address on Avery Avenue in Flushing, a police source said.
But when the driver arrived at the destination, a friend came to the vehicle and noticed the woman was unconscious, cops said.
The taxi then transported the woman and her friend to New York-Presbyterian Hospital, where she was pronounced dead at 5:49 a.m., according to police.
It’s so much cheaper to send your dead bitches in an Uber.
Drive-Thru of the Week
MIRACLE – Crash Video shows Monday’s accident at @Wendys where a vehicle launched over a berm into the restaurant. Angle 1 (Drive-thru) shows the vehicle coming over the berm. Angle 2 (Front of store) car land on table next to a table with family eating.
No serious injuries pic.twitter.com/xyBK0ducMa— So Brunswick PD (@SoBrunswickPD) August 19, 2021
Joe Biden attempts to get a Baconator. Speaking of bacon fails…
Whodunnit of the Week
Barmaid strangled to death when pyjamas caught in oven door as she made bacon sandwich
A coroner has described the death of a barmaid as one of the most unusual cases he had ever presided over.
Jackie Cottrill, 52, was found strangled by her pyjamas on the oven at home after making her nephew a bacon sandwich.
Mystery prevails over how her clothes became caught on the door, but coroner James Adeley described it as ‘extraordinarily bad luck’.
He said: ‘It is very unusual that someone who was fit and well managed to suspend themselves accidentally from the oven door.
‘What appears to have happened is that for some reason she has fallen and caught her pyjama top on the lower handle of the oven door.
‘I can’t explain how she ended up in this position it’s a very unusual case. In my 20 years of doing this I have never come across this happening.’
Jackie had made nephew Josh Brocklebank a bacon sandwich in the early hours of January 24 before he went to bed.
He woke up late and at 2pm he found her body in the kitchen of her home in Blackburn.
Worst game of Clue ever: It was Colonel Bacon with the pajamas in the kitchen.
Invasion of the Week
Aggressive cows take over French beach as horrified tourists gored on holiday
Corsican beaches were closed after cows roamed the sands and gored visitors.
The French island’s 15k-strong cow population has become increasingly problematic, goring unlucky beachgoers who get in their way.
One man was sent to hospital after fighting with a herd for his favourite spot on the beach in Lotu on the north coast, The Times reported.
The man was jabbed in the neck by one cow’s sharp horns.
Last week, a herd of unruly cows chased tourists down a popular thoroughfare in one of the island’s most visited towns.
And in mountain village Lozzi, a 70-year-old woman was attacked while she hung out her washing.
Lozzi mayor Francois Acquaviva told local newspaper Corse-Matin the problem was more serious than silly.
Once again, the French surrender to an invading force.
Penetration of the Week
Man who sexually assaulted Tickle Me Elmo wants charges dropped
A Michigan man who sexually assaulted a Tickle Me Elmo doll during a home inspection wants his charges dropped.
Kevin VanLuven, 59, was charged earlier this month with an indecent act with the stuffed doll has requested that a judge ignore his verbal and written confessions to police, which came after cops were called to a home in suburban Detroit in March…
He claims he was improperly questioned while in police custody.
On Mar. 12, VanLuven was conducting a home inspection for a potential buyer.
Two hours later, the homeowner, Jaida Dodson, checked out her home security cameras remotely, to see how the inspection was going, and was horrified to see him allegedly remove Elmo from her son’s bedroom and do the dirty to the doll.
VanLuven allegedly “unzipped his pants and began masturbating in our son’s closet with his Tickle Me Elmo,” Dodson testified at a recent court hearing…
Dodson called 911, police arrived at her home and the responding officer, Deputy Patrick Yens, recalled she “believed that a home inspector was pleasing himself with a doll, I believe,” stated the court transcript.
Yens questioned VanLuven after showing him the home surveillance footage and VanLuven “admitted to placing his penis in Elmo’s mouth, in the doll’s mouth.”
Yens added that VanLuven “apologized” and “ashamed” of his actions.
The deputy testified that the evidence was seized from the home, saying in court, “We collected Elmo and took Elmo in.”
VanLuven has been charged with aggravated indecent exposure and malicious destruction of personal property.
He spent more than five weeks in jail for the misdemeanors before posting bond.
A guy named “VanLuven” mouth-raped Tickle Me Elmo and people seem shocked.
Naked Lunch of the Week
Nude man stabs second nude man on Seattle sidewalk
A naked man stabbed another naked man on Tuesday morning in Seattle, according to the Seattle police.
Just after 8 a.m. on Tuesday, officers responding to a noise disturbance call heard from witnesses that one naked man had stabbed a second naked man on the sidewalk.
One witness had already taken the victim to the hospital before the police arrived.
Other witnesses told police the other man was last seen around a corner, where police found him at the entrance to an apartment building with what appeared to be a self-inflicted wound to his neck.
The man lost a significant amount of blood and was unresponsive.
Seattle officers supplied medical aid until Seattle Fire arrived.
Just an average day in liberal paradise.
WTF? of the Week
Man wearing clown mask and women’s underwear performed sex act at nursing home
Police have launched a manhunt for the pervert who exposed himself while wearing a clown mask disguise at a nursing home
Officers were called to Willowbank Nursing Home in Burnley, Lancashire just after 5am on Tuesday, August 17.
The man, who was dressed in women’s underwear and wore a clown mask, had been seen standing at the window and was performing a sex act on himself.
Staff raised the alarm and police officers quickly flooded the area in hope of capturing the offender
However, the man had already made his escape and remains at large…
Detective Inspector Mark Saunders, of Burnley CID, said: “This was an extremely distressing incident and we are doing all we can to identify and arrest the offender.
It seems my fear of clowns wasn’t so irrational after all.
