Joe Biden signed a bunch of proclamations on Friday, including a couple accusing The U.S. of stealing Indian land. The other proclamations involved stealing land for the federal government in the name of conservation. As he’s known to do, Biden went off-script and told a completely fake story about a little girl. Proving the tale was made it, it involved absolutely no sniffing.
For someone who can’t pronounce words or form complete sentences and thoughts, Biden’s handlers sure have him speaking a lot. Before he signed his proclamations, Joe gave a speech which started off with a glimpse into his fantasy world. He thanked Interior Department head Deb Haaland, who is Native American, and then told this lie:
“I told you, when I asked you to be Secretary of Interior that I understood, that I was politically raised by Danny Inouye. Indian Nations. Indian Nations,” said Biden.
Former Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye was Asian and more specifically, Japanese. He wasn’t Native Indian or even Native Hawaiian. This is Joe Biden saying, “Hey, I get that Indian stuff because once I knew a Japanese guy.”
Biden continued his bullshit when he tried to tell a folksy story involving the Bears Ears National Monument in Utah.
” I gotta tell you a quick story. When I was running for office, and I’m embarrassed that I can’t remember exactly which state I was in,” Biden began.
Finally, he’s embarrassed by his memory loss.
“A gentleman and a uh, I think it was his wife, and a little girl said, a little girls said, ‘can I talk to you?’ She had this, I couldn’t tell understand what she had in her hand, it looked like a teddy bears. ‘Can I talk to you, mister,’ she wasn’t sure what to call me because I wah-dent elected yet. Mr. president or Mr. vice press-dent,” Biden continued.
It doesn’t seem like his memory is getting any better at this point and yes, he did say “it looked like a teddy bears,” “wah-dent,” and “press-dent.”
“Sure, what’s the matter, honey. She said, ‘I want to give you something. I want to give you some bears ears.’ Looked at her, she gave me these sort of bears ears. She said, “you gotta pwomise me, you gotta promise me to protect the bears ears’ and I was thinking, ‘what the heck is he?’ I mean at the time I knew bears but I didn’t quite get,” said Biden laughing.
I don’t get the impression Joe gets anything, least of all this made-up story he was telling.
“Dad said, ‘you know, the national park.’ I said, ‘oh yeah.’ She said, she went look she said, ‘Pwomise, you pwomise, and I pwomised and it’s the easiest promise that I’ve made in a long time,” said Biden.
In case trying to figure what the f*ck Joe is talking about hurts your brain, here’s a summary: While campaigning for president in 2020, a little girl gave Biden some bears ears and made him promise to protect Bears Ears National Monument in Utah.
Here’s all the reasons why this story is bullshit:
1 – Any little girl who says “pwomise” is 3 or 4 tops and wouldn’t give a crap about a National Monument, not park as Biden said, that nobody has ever heard about.
2 – Similarly, there’s not one little girl in the country of that age who knows who Joe Biden is or would be excited to meet him, let alone bring him a set of bears ears, which is another unbelievable thing about this story.
3 – The Bears Ears National Monument wasn’t unprotected before Biden stole the White House. Obama expanded the area that the feds protect that had nothing to do with Bear Ears and Trump scaled it back to simply protect the monument and not a bunch of useless scrubland for no reason. A little girl with bears ears is unlikely to have know anything about this.
4 – Joe Biden’s 2020 campaign was run almost entirely from his basement. He rarely made a public appearance and when he did, it was documented but there is no little girl with bears ears. Biden maybe went to Eastern Pennsylvania a couple of times for sparsely-attended car rallies but he never had face-to-face meetings with the people.
5 – Lastly, and most importantly, this story involves a little girl but Biden didn’t sniff her, grope her, or whisper something creepy in her ear so therefore it never happened.
