This week, Kamala Harris impressed scientists by using a fake French accent. She’s so WTF? it’s hard to believe she’s real. Here’s some other reality-defying WTF?:
Headline of the Week
But the fact that by the late 18th century one in five Londoners had syphilis (and far more had chlamydia and gonorrhoea) is easy to forget, as is what that would have looked like.
Ever since the discovery of penicillin, syphilis has been easily treated.
But it used to be a horrific disease that slowly ate people from the outside in, and then the inside out again.
Weeping sores around the genitals gave way to a full-body rash, flu-like symptoms, and warts on the genitals and mouth.
The symptoms would then seem to clear up – but the disease was in fact attacking the brain, heart, bones and nervous system.
After which, the disease would return to the surface in the form of ulcers, which would eat into the face, leaving craters.
The ulcers would also eat into the bone and cause the nose to collapse into the face.
This condition was known as “saddle nose”, and singled people out as having late-stage syphilis.
So common was this condition that in the early 1700s, an eccentric man who called himself Mr Crumpton made it his business to, as Edward Ward described in his 1709 book The History of the London Clubs, “strole about the Town, on purpose to pick acquaintance with all such stigmatiz’d Strumpets & Fornicators… appointing every one apart to meet him at the Dog Tavern in Drury Lane”.
Mr Crumpton essentially made a club after observing an “abundance of both Sexes… had unluckily fallen into the Fashion of Flat-Faces.“
That story is so heart warming it causes a burning sensation.
Peter Eater of the Week
‘Cannibal cut off date’s penis’ and ‘watched him bleed to death in gruesome murder’
A man has died after his penis was chopped off by an alleged cannibal killer.
Stefan Trogisch, 43, bled to death allegedly at the hands of school teacher Stefan R, 43, who first told police he found him dead after a drug and alcohol-fuelled sex session in Germany.
According to German newspaper Bild, an autopsy on Tuesday revealed a severed artery in the groin area killed the electrician on September 6, 2020.
The alleged murderer claims he found Mr Trogisch dead on his sofa in Berlin and decided to removed his penis to destroy evidence that he had given him oral sex.
“It would have come out that I am homosexual,” Stefan R explained despite the autopsy confirming it was losing his penis that killed Mr Trogisch, MailOnline reports.
The maths and chemistry teacher previously told the court that he suspected Mr Trogisch died from a cocktail of narcotics and alcohol, but his theory has been dismissed by forensic specialist Michael Tsokos.
The accused, who had an account on human slaughter forums, was found to have searched online: “Does skin grow over a penis once it’s removed?”
In preparation for their date, the suspect laid out a three-part butcher knife set and a bone saw next to his bedroom cupboard and hung up a sex swing in the living room.
A sign left on an apartment window ledge said: “Instructions for emasculating and slaughtering a person.”
Prosecutor’s office spokesman Martin Steltner said: “The suspect had an interest in cannibalism. He searched online for the topic.”
Stefan R is alleged to have chopped his victim into pieces which he then disposed of around Berlin.
Just hours after allegedly murdering Mr Trogisch, Stefan R told another human slaughter forum member: “I have it [the penis] now!”
So he ate the dick. Mystery solved.
Hoochie Coochie Man of the Week
A 36-year-old man will be charged on Saturday (Nov 13) for his alleged involvement in a series of cheating cases, including one where he pretended to be a gynaecologist and requested a victim provide photographs of her genitals to him.
In a news release on Friday, the police said that they received a report on July 24 that a man had allegedly pretended to be a gynaecologist from a hospital and invited the victim to “join a campaign to raise awareness for women’s health”.
The man allegedly created a Facebook profile to represent himself as the purported gynaecologist, the police said.
He then asked the victim to provide photographs of her genitals to him “under the pretext of medical diagnosis and research purposes”, they added.
Officers from the Tanglin Police Division established the identity of the man through follow-up investigations and arrested him on Thursday.
If found guilty of the offence of cheating by impersonation, the man could be jailed for up to five years or fined, or both.
5 years for beaver shots? Somebody should tell him there are literally millions of pussy pix on the Internet for free. Speaking of which…
Easy Rider of the Week
Teen left with horror ‘childbirth-like’ injuries after bike handlebars smashed into her vagina
A teenager was left with horrifying “childbirth-like” injuries after bike handlebars smashed into her vagina.
The 18-year-old, who was not named by doctors, developed shocking blood and fluid-filled swellings around the vulva.
Shocking photos published in the British Medical Journal show the vulva lips have ballooned and blackened from the injury.
The doctors, from Rotunda Hospital, Dublin, explained how the incident happened.
A hematoma is a swelling of blood, ranging from tiny blood blisters to huge, bulging masses.
When it occurs around the vagina, it’s usually due to injury or childbirth – caused by pushing the baby out or from forceps.
Dr. Amy Worrall and colleagues wrote: “Vulval injuries of this nature are most often seen postnatally in women following childbirth, in particular following operative vaginal deliveries.”
“Other causes include trauma, forceful intercourse, sexual abuse, injection into genital vessels and saddle injuries, as in this case relating to certain sporting activities (cycling, horse riding etc).”
The Dublin doctors said the swollen tissue was “grossly oedematous” – meaning filled with pus-like fluid – and bleeding.
The poor young woman was given morphine and a catheter to empty her bladder. Under anesthetic, doctors were able to drain the hematoma.
Three months later, the patient was fully recovered.
You can see the uncensored picture here but it might turn you into a vegetarian.
Heist of the Week
Park this week, effectively shutting down a public art experiment meant to spark conversations among neighbors.
Monday, Elizabeth Shen put the artwork on display in Logan Square’s Unity Park: a large painting of women’s breasts with text that reads, “You are cordially invited to look.” Shen left a notebook next to the painting so neighbors could jot down their thoughts about the artwork.
“I wanted to relate to my art in a different way,” Shen said. “There’s something different about experiencing your art out in the world, in the park, to see people walk by it and not know what they think or how they feel.
“There’s no museum entry fee, there’s no hoity-toity gallery. It’s just there for people to view. I thought that was interesting, and I wanted to experience that.”
But the park gallery didn’t last long. The following day, someone made off with the painting — and the notebook.
Frustrated, Shen put up a new sign: “To whoever took the boob painting, put it back! It doesn’t belong to you.” She also posted in a neighborhood Facebook group in hopes of recovering the stolen artwork.
Shen said she had hoped the painting would be “respected — if not loved or cherished, just respected and left alone.”
“That didn’t really happen,” she said. “It’s making me really reflect on that. It’s making me think if I should evaluate my own expectations of my neighborhood, my community.”
If she’s looking to move somewhere with less titty theft, she should avoid Tulsa as this next story would indicate:
Desecrator of the Week
Woman who desecrated corpse released from prison early after winning appeal
A woman who has served about four years of a 16-year prison sentence for a series of crimes related to the desecration of a corpse in a funeral home has been freed on jurisdictional grounds.
Tulsa County District Judge Michelle Keely on Monday signed off on an order that vacated the judgment and prison sentence given to Shaynna Lauren Sims in 2017, according to online court records.
A Tulsa County jury convicted Sims in April 2017 of the desecration of a corpse just prior to a funeral.
Sims was charged with cutting the breasts and a toe from the body of 38-year-old Tabatha Lynch on April 30, 2015, while she was in a casket at an east Tulsa funeral home.
She also was charged with posing as a funeral home employee to gain access to Lynch’s apartment and steal jewelry.
A prosecutor during the trial portrayed Sims as a “scorned wife” who sought revenge over claims that Lynch had a relationship with Sims’ estranged husband at the time. Lynch died of natural causes.
That’s some serious scorn going on there.
Wide Ride of the Week
Model ‘addicted’ to plastic surgery can’t tie shoelaces as 36NN boobs get in way
A model who is “addicted” to plastic surgery has opened up about spending £70,000 on her dream body.
Amber May, 23, has splurged thousands on multiple procedures, which include her 36NN boobs.
The beauty, from Leicestershire, has already gone under the knife eight times in the past five years.
Since then, she’s had boob jobs, Brazilian butt lifts, two rhinoplasty surgeries and a round of buccal fat removal.
The bombshell has also had three rounds of full body liposuction and facial fillers, as well as work done on her teeth.
The model had her boobs enlarged to 3000CC implants in September, going from a KK cup to a NN size.
Now her breasts weigh over a stone, thanks to the three litres of saline in each boob.
While she does love how they look, her bust certainly gets in the way of day-to-day life at times.
She admitted: “Clothes are really hard to buy.
“I have to buy stretchy clothes but even then sometimes they don’t fit.”
“It’s silly but one thing I noticed after my third breast augmentation is tying shoe laces – I can’t really see my feet anymore.
“I can’t do any running either.”
She admitted: “I like to look fake. I like looking different, every surgery I have I look forward to it like it’s a hobby.
“I don’t do it to attract or appeal to people, I do it for me.
Mission accomplished.
Assholes of the Week
Brits shoving beer bottles and toothbrushes in their rectums cost the NHS £350k each year
BRITS are costing the NHS £350,000 per YEAR by shoving random objects in their anuses, a report reveals.
Beer bottles, toothbrushes, carrots and wine corks are just some of the items reported over the years.
An analysis by medics at Royal Wolverhampton Hospitals NHS Trust aimed to uncover the financial burden to the country.
They calculated the “number of rectal foreign bodies that required removal in hospital” between 2010 and 2019.
A total of 3,500 objects were removed from the back passage over the course of nine years.
The cost of anaesthetics, bed occupancy and more has totalled the NHS £3 million over the same period.
Men were almost always (85 per cent) the patients, said the report published in the Royal College of Surgeons of England Annals.
And oldies were just as into it as youngsters, with one in six patients over the age of 60.
The authors of the paper said the trend was continuing to get worse, speculating it was due to the rise of internet porn.
Don’t blame Internet porn when this is clearly a socialized medicine problem.
Discovery of the Week
Half-naked coach, feces and vomit found at N.J. school in trespassing incident, cops say
Two police officers discovered Asbury Park High School’s football coach, Nick Famularo, half-naked and trespassing on stadium grounds with a woman who was not his girlfriend early Saturday morning, according to a police report provided to NJ Advance Media. And after the ordeal, they found human feces on a rug and vomit on some of the football jerseys in the locker room.
When police responded to the school’s stadium Saturday on a report of trespassing at about 2:21 a.m., they found an open gate, authorities said in the report provided to NJ Advance Media following an Open Public Records Act request. Famularo, who was known by both police officers according to the report, was then seen sitting by the main entrance to the locker room.
Shining his flashlight at Famularo, the coach “stood up and walked toward (the officers) while holding what appeared to be a jersey covering the lower part of his body,” police said. One officer said he, “observed (Famularo) wearing a shirt and not wearing any pants.”
According to the report, Famularo told police he was locked out of his vehicle. Officers, who placed Famularo in the back seat of the patrol car since he was half-naked, did not call the fire department to unlock the vehicle since they pulled the registration back to Famularo’s girlfriend, police said.
After Famularo’s girlfriend arrived, a woman walked out from the direction of the stadium saying she had the coach’s facility keys, cellphone, jacket and car keys. Famularo confirmed the woman was with him, the report said.
Famularo ultimately left the stadium with his girlfriend, police officials said.
After police gained access to the locker room — with help from another football coach who was called to the stadium — they found “human feces on one of the rugs” and “vomit on some of the football jerseys (and other clothing which appeared to belong to Famularo),” the report said. No other people were found by police on the premises, the report indicated.
But they never found his pants.
Golden Shower of the Week
Brass Against Singer Urinates on Fan’s Face Onstage During Festival Performance
So much for social distancing! During Brass Against’s performance at the Welcome to Rockville festival last night (November 11th), lead singer Sophia Urista urinated on a fan’s face — all while the band covered Rage Against the Machine’s “Wake Up.”
The very NSFW video shows Urista summon a male fan with a camera mounted to his head onto the stage. She then tells him to lay down as she pulls down her pants and pees directly into his face, all while continuing to cover the RATM classic. At the end, the fan gets up and spits the urine into the audience.
Shitty band gets pissy with the audience.
Money Shot of the Week
B.C. tenant evicted after disturbing neighbours by ‘loudly masturbating’
Several people complained of “very loud sex noises” by the tenant in one particular B.C. dispute; in this case, the tenant was represented by an advocate. The landlord stated that a person living next door to the tenant complained of very loud music as well as “sounds of the tenant masturbating — including moaning and the sound of the tenant’s release.” At the time, the landlord tried to get the building manager to corroborate the sounds, but the incidents occurred outside of their shift.
The neighbour actually made a log of the “masturbatory noises” over several months but eventually became frustrated and left the building. Following this, the new neighbour stated that they “heard their neighbour loudly masturbating and finishing by the wall. This got louder and louder as time progressed until one day it sounded three-dimensional, so disgusting.”
The new neighbour moved in on Oct. 1 and stated that she heard loud, masturbatory sounds between 4:30 and 5:30 a.m. daily until Nov. 16 — “100 [per cent] of the a.m.’s since she’s moved in.” She added that the neighbour “groans at the end.”
Under the details of the cause to end the tenancy, the landlord writes that the tenant is a “self-confessed sex addict” who has a “long history of disturbing the quiet enjoyment of his neighbours due to excessively loud masturbation, loud sex acts, and playing of loud pornography.”
How do you ejaculate loudly?
Gun Slinger of the Week
Florida man uses finger guns to steal Waffle House napkins
A Madison County Waffle House employee called 911 Monday night to report an attempted robbery. The suspect was unarmed, and simply left after grabbing some napkins, according to the Madison County Sheriff’s Office.
MCSO identified Eward William Rodriguez as the assailant, based on video footage and witness descriptions.
Rodriguez entered the Waffle House on 145 SE Bandit Street at about at 8 p.m., said MCSO. Witnesses described him as a white man wearing a gray hoodie, dark jeans, a dark hat, with dark hair. He was reportedly accompanied by a small dog.
Rodriguez then began shouting “get on the ground, y’all are getting robbed,” according to MCSO’s report. He then stated that he was “high and drunk,” before grabbing some napkins and walking out. Rodriguez got into a vehicle and left the parking lot, the 911 caller told deputies.
“The suspect did not appear to have a weapon, but did raise his hands with his fingers in the shape of a gun,” said MCSO.
Deputies located Rodriguez at his residence and placed him under arrest without incident, after he admitted to the crime. He was then taken to Madison County Jail on charges of unarmed robbery and assault.
This innovative thief has efficiently reduced the “five-finger discount” down to a single digit.
Penetration of the Week
Brothel offers free ’30-minute experience’ with prostitute in exchange for Covid jab
A brothel in Vienna has offered an interesting solution to its country’s low vaccine uptake figures.
Austria’s Fun Palast brothel has launched an “exchange” programme where customers can get 30 minutes with a “lady of their choice” in exchange for getting a coronavirus vaccine.
A spokesman for the brothel said: “Due to the pandemic, we have registered a 50% decrease in clients. With this initiative we hope that the number of customers will rise again.”
An employee of the brothel, who calls herself Mina, said that the idea is “very good”.
She added: “The name fun palace suggest to have a bit of fun here and return back to normality a bit more.
“And I also think it’s a great idea that this is being offered for women, children and of course men.”
So children can f*ck the whores too?
WTF? of the Week
Revellers sling animal dung at each other at packed annual cow poo festival
Revellers were seen throwing cow poo at one another to mark the end of a religious festival.
Crowds in Gumatapura, India, celebrated the end of Diwali, the most important Hindu festival in the country, in the yearly festival.
The event started yesterday afternoon where locals visited surrounding homes to collect cow manure ready to throw snowball-sized piles of mud at each other.
They believe that whatever cows produce is sacred and purifying.
The poo is brought back from the farms to the temple by a tractor and is blessed by a priest before being dumped in an open area ready for the ritual to begin.
After the manure is dumped, men and boys prepare for the festival which is reportedly more than a hundred years old.
Each year, people come to Gumatapura to attend the big event where they can be seen covered head to toe in cow poo.
The event is very similar to Spain’s “La Tomatina”, where the Spanish throw tomatoes to celebrate the local fruit.
A former farmer, Mahesh, explained how the mud works.
He said: “If they have a disease, it will get cured.”
I’m starting to understand why Kamala Harris is such a shitty person. It’s cultural.
