This week Jussie Smollett helped reinforce the fact that everyone on the left is full of crap. Here’s some more WTF? suffering from credibility issues:
Headline of the Week
168 Thai soldiers apparently forced to finish masturbating before showering
More than 160 Thai soldiers were apparently forced to masturbate… and climax… before they were allowed to take a shower. At least that’s what a social media user claims. Numerous Thai media outlets have reported the story, but there has been no confirmation or statement from military officials.
On Facebook, a screenshot was shared, and picked up by Thai media, of soldiers sitting together with a caption in Thai which translates to…
“The week of masterbation check. Finish your masterbate first, then you will be allowed to take a shower. Do it together with 168 members.”
The original video was said to have been posted on an Instagram story and has since been deleted. On Facebook, many Thai people have been revealing their own experiences in the military and saying that they have experienced situations like this while in service as well as other accounts of sexual harassment and abuse.
I thought Cream of Sum Yung Gai was a Chinese dish.
Yule Log of the Week
Residents of quaint village fuming over Christmas tree that looks like a huge penis
Residents in a quaint village have been left fuming after a Christmas tree that looks like a penis was put up.
The “phallic looking” Christmas tree has led angry locals to lodge several complaints with authorities, according to Ren TV.
It is located in the village of Vitim, in the Lensky district of Russia’s far-eastern republic on Sakha.
Due to the furious backlash, authorities in Vitim have been forced to tell local media that the Christmas tree is still being worked on, specifying that they were going to add extra branches to make it less penis-like.
A spokesperson has said that they are aiming for a more traditional look, with baubles and decorations also to be added.
The spokesperson explained “they will hang decorations, more work is underway” and that they will “finish everything by the end of the week”.
In related news, my penis looks like a tree trunk. Okay, branch. Okay, twig. Let’s move on.
Brandon of the Week
Police say 92-year-old man sexually assaulted teenager at retirement home
Police say a 92-year-old man sexually assaulted a teenage worker at an Idaho Falls retirement home.
The Idaho Falls Police Department began investigating Orvin Twitchell after a retirement home called police about a sexual assault. According to an affidavit of probable cause obtained by EastIdahoNews.com, Twitchell allegedly forced a 17-year-old employee at the retirement home to touch his genitals in November.
In a written statement, the victim described helping Twitchell take his shower. While drying the 92-year-old man’s legs off, Twitchell allegedly grabbed the teenager’s gloved hand and placed it on his genitals. The teenage worker pulled away and told Twitchell not to do that and she continued to dry him off.
Twitchell allegedly then grabbed the teen’s head and pulled it toward his crotch, according to the probable cause affidavit. The teen abruptly left and notified management. She did not want to press charges but wanted the incident reported.
As police began investigating, he was reportedly removed from the retirement home, and he moved in with family members. Detectives spoke with Twitchell, who said the teen grabbed his penis so he forced his hand on the back of her head.
“I asked him why he did that, and he said that he did not know why,” a detective wrote in a report.
That’s probably what it’s like for White House staffers.
Granny of the Week
The World’s Hottest Grandma Gina Stewart has revealed one of the bizarre secrets behind her youthful looks and vitality.
In a post to Instagram, the 51-year-old model admitted to exposing her bare genitals to the sun every day in order to gain various health benefits.
‘Only a few minutes a day can have increased health benefits,’ she told her followers.
‘Sunlight improves genital function,’ Gina explained, before tattling off other supposed benefits of the unusual practice.
‘Increase in fertility and youth hormone function, increase in sexual energy, vitamin D production,’ she continued.
The mother-of-four then said that UV rays are ‘germicidal’ and help keep her clean downstairs.
Back in June, the OnlyFans sensation revealed her anti-ageing secrets in an interview with the Daily Star.
To many people’s surprise, Gina’s top tip to fighting off Father Time is drinking green tea regularly.
However, Gina is strictly against artificial enhancements like Botox and fillers.
The social media model has previously said that it’s important to find treatments that were ‘anti ageing without going under the knife.’
Where’d those fake boobs come from, then?
Necro of the Week
Man Had Sexual Intercourse After Killing Mother, Daughter
A man has been arrested for the murder a mother and daughter in Villupuram. Reports say that the accused is with a Necrophilia mental disorder associated with the dead. Villupuram Freight DIG Pandian said that there were four similar murder cases and three necrophilia related cases against the arrested person.
Saroja (80) and his daughter Poonkavanam aged 60, who lived near Kandamangalam in Villupuram district, died mysteriously with bloodstains at their home in Kalithirampattu village the day before yesterday. Police were investigating on the angle that the accused may have escaped by killing the mother-daughter for the jewellery.
Eight special teams were set up to catch the accused. During the investigation, it was revealed that the accused had a physical relationship with the dead body of the mother and daughter. By then, it was known that the accused had Necrophilia illness. Such mentally ill people are in the habit of having intercourse with the corpse after the murder or abusing the victim who has been assaulted.
After knowing the illness of the accused, the police started to deepen the case in a different way by identifying the Necrophpilia affected persons in and around. Later, Kavidas, the son of Ganesan from the village nearby, was revealed to be such a necrophilia killer.
The personal police immediately rounded up Kavidas. Police also confiscated eight grams of gold jewellery looted by him. Kavidas was taken to the Police station and was interrogated regarding the mother and daughter death case.
During the interrogation, it was revealed that he killed them both and had intercourse with their body after they died. The investigation has revealed that he later escaped with 8 grams of jewellery.
It is said that Kavidas targets elderly women who were alone at home, assaulted and killed them, robbed the jewellery they were wearing and raped them after they died or while they were unconscious.
What a crazy f*cker.
Pixel of the Week
A Vaginal Ruth Bader Ginsburg NFT Is Being Sold to Raise Funds for Abortion Rights
This week, it became abundantly clear that nationwide abortion rights are extremely vulnerable to being overturned, kicking off a flurry of rage and dissenting voices on either side of the debate. Additionally, this week’s conversation about the rights women have to bodily autonomy also evidently prompted the creation of an NFT for sale on OpenSea called CryptoCvnt #34. Created by the CryptoCvnts in protest of unconstitutional abortion bans, the NFT, even for the uncanny valley of online digital art, is pretty jarring: it shows a pixelated Ruth Bader Ginsburg figure wearing a crown, green earrings and a pair of black glasses, but Ginsburg happens to have a very realistic vagina for a head.
The CryptoCvnts are also selling many other vaginal NFTs: in one, a vagina is smoking a cigarette in front of a LGBTQ flag. In another, a sophisticated vagina is wearing gold sunglasses and pink lipstick.
That’s a pass from me but definitely not a hard one.
Pussy of the Week
Accidental shooting leads police to home with over 70 cats
An accidental shooting led police in New Hampshire to a house that was overrun with more than 70 cats and was declared uninhabitable because it was covered with feline feces and urine.
Police in Kensington got a call from a hospital on Wednesday that a man was admitted to the emergency room with a gunshot wound to the abdomen.
Police went to the hospital and spoke to the man, who said he was cleaning a rifle and put it on a workbench when it fell to the floor and discharged a round, injuring him. Police concluded it was an accidental shooting.
Police also went to the home, where they initially found at least 30 cats.
“There was an overwhelming odor coming from inside the residence,” Kensington Police Chief Scott Cain said in a news release Friday. “It was discovered (the) inside was completely covered in feline feces and urine.”
Police called the New Hampshire Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, which removed 67 black and white cats on Wednesday. Five more were found on Friday.
Cain said that ammonia levels tested in the house were much higher than what is considered safe. A health officer was contacted, and “it was determined the residence was uninhabitable and was condemned immediately,” Cain said.
He said the cats’ health will be determined before any criminal charges would be brought forward. He said the man would face a charge related to the rifle discharge.
How do you clean a rifle with a round chambered?
Evil Pussy of the Week
Satanic porn star who claims she has ‘alien blood’ speaks on devastating condition
A satanic porn star who claims she has extraterrestrial blood, has opened up about her health condition in a new song.
Sabrina Sabrok, real name Lorena Fabiana Colotta, has revealed that she has suffered from schizophrenia ever since she was a child.
The Argentine porn star says she “hears voices and sees things” but does not want to take medication because she prefers to be “crazy like that”.
In 2019, Sabrok launched her own cult called ‘Sabrok Legion’, which offers interested parties the chance to make pacts with the Devil and ‘Our Lady of Holy Death’, as well as learn how to cast love charms and speak with the dead.
She says she is able to parley with Satan himself and that “everything I do is because I made a pact with him”.
Beelzeboobies.
Siblings of the Week
Woman, half brother accused of incestuous relationship
A woman and her half brother are accused of being in an intimate relationship after a report was made by the woman’s estranged husband. Twenty-nine-year-old Tessa Teague and 18-year-old Jacob Reidy each face a felony count of incest.
According to a probable cause affidavit, a male went to the Marion County Sheriff’s Office on Oct. 3 and accused his estranged wife, identified as Teague, of having an incestuous relationship with her half brother, identified as Reidy. Teague and her husband had reportedly been separated since June, and he came across an old phone she used in his belongings. He says he powered it on, and the messenger was still active. He reportedly checked the messages and came across videos of Teague in sexual contact with another male. None of the videos showed the other male’s face, but the complainant said he spotted an identifiable tattoo and recognized the voice in one video.
Teague’s husband alleges the relationship began in May in Stone County, and then later moved to a trailer in Yellville with Reidy. The complainant said he never went inside the trailer, but one of his daughters had. The photos and videos from the phone were allegedly made in the trailer. The husband also claims Reidy was underage when the relationship began.
On Nov. 2, a deputy spoke with Teague’s mother, who reportedly claimed if the cops asked her about the incident, her daughter was going to say she and Reidy were first cousins and not half siblings. Three days later, a pair of deputies went to Teague’s residence, and she agreed to talk to them at the sheriff’s office. At the station, she reportedly said she would feel more comfortable if she had an attorney present.
Later that day, Reidy contacted the sheriff’s office and said he would be willing to go in and talk. At the sheriff’s office, authorities asked Reidy if he knew why they wanted to talk to him, and he reportedly said, “An incest crime.” He reportedly admitted he and Teague lived in the same residence and were siblings, but he wouldn’t say anything further without an attorney present. As deputies transported Reidy back to his residence, they noticed a tattoo on his forearm. It reportedly matched the tattoo of the male in the video.
Technically this is only half-incest.
Drinker of the Week
Drunk Driver Fights Cops & Tries to Pass Off Louis Vuitton Receipt As License
A Gen Z woman with anger issues will be spending 30 days in the Tom Green County Detention Facility after repeatedly fighting San Angelo’s Police Officers.
According to court documents, on Dec. 7, Jocilyn Hernandez, 22, pleaded guilty to two counts of assault of a peace officer.
The original arrest occurred on Oct. 27, 2019. On that day an officer with the San Angelo Police Department was dispatched to assist another officer take Hernandez to Shannon Medical Center for an unlisted injury.
In another report an officer states he was dispatched to the 3900 block of Twin Mountain Dr to assist in making an arrest for an unrelated incident.
Prior to the trip to the hospital, one officer stated that she began screaming profanities and fighting officers. While one attempted to buckle her seat belt, Hernandez head butted an officer.
Then when another officer managed to get it buckled, Hernandez took a bite out of his arm. The bite broke the skin and the officer claimed that it was so deep that flesh could be seen. She was then taken to the Tom Green County Jail instead of Shannon.
Hernandez was booked into the Tom Green County Jail and was charged with two counts of assault against a peace officer, public intoxication, and resisting arrest. She was released the following day on a $20,922 bond.
Just nine months later, on Jul. 19, Hernandez was arrested again for driving while intoxicated, resisting arrest, and assaulting a police officer. During this event cops spotted Hernandez driving erratically down N Chadbourne. They pulled her over in the parking lot at 19th and Chadbourne where she proceeded to strike a pole.
When the officer asked her for her license, the report claims that Hernandez instead handed him a Louis Vuitton receipt. A field sobriety test was then administered but was halted for an E-cigarette break.
Officers eventually arrested and cuffed her for the DWI and resisting. Before they could get to the jail though, Hernandez was able to squeeze a hand out of the cuffs and punched the officer in the face. She also managed to kick him and other responding officers before being subdued.
Bitch can’t handle her booze.
Flamer of the Week
Florida man used flamethrower to settle parking dispute, police say
A Florida man angry over his neighbors’ parking habits sprayed fire from a commercial flamethrower toward a car with three teenagers inside, police said. No one was hurt.
Andre Abrams, 57, of Gainesville, is facing three counts of felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intending to kill, according to court records. He posted a $15,000 bond last week and is awaiting a decision whether prosecutors will formally file criminal charges.
The mother of one of the teens, Ashley Gainey, said Abrams frequently sprayed the flamethrower to scare off guests at her home. Gainey’s daughter, Nate’talya Baker, 16, fled the car with her friends as Abrams continued to spray flames toward them, police said.
“When he shoots it, it lights the whole road up,” Gainey said. “It’s like it’s daylight outside. He’ll do it in the middle of the night.”
In his arrest report, police identified the weapon in the Nov. 30 incident as an XM42 Lite Flamethrower, which shoots flames up to 20 feet and is manufactured by X Products LLC of Vancouver, Washington. It sells for about $900 online.
I want one. I also want one of these:
Weapon of the Week
SAS using new machine gun called ‘Snake’ that fires two bullets at the same time
The SAS have got a new twin-barrelled machine gun that can fire a 1,000 rounds a minute.
The Gilboa Snake can fire two bullets at the same time, boosting the chances of a “combat kill”.
An Army source told us: “The great thing about the weapon is that if one side of it jams the other will still fire – and every time you pull the trigger you are hitting the target with a double burst.”
The rifle is lightweight and reliable – key features required by the special forces.
The Snake has already been used in combat by British special forces in Afghanistan and Syria.
The Daily Star Sunday has been told two British SAS soldiers killed up to 12 Islamic State fighters in less than a minute in northern Syria earlier this year.
Our source revealed: “The troops opened fire on a group of men loading explosives into a car.
“The six-man SAS team opened up but most of the fire came from two guys armed with the Gilboa.
“The two soldiers fired burst after burst and the insurgents dropped like flies – the weapon really is a force multiplier.”
This is the WTF? Yeah! of the Week
Biters of the Week
Man attacked by 20 otters, bitten 26 times: ‘I thought I was going to die’
A Singapore resident was hospitalized after a bizarre animal attack last month in which he was accosted by a gang of otters, who reportedly bit him 26 times.
“I actually thought I was going to die – they were going to kill me,” British native Graham George Spencer told the Straits Times of the otterly frightening encounter, which occurred Nov. 30 while he was strolling to the Singapore Botanic Gardens with a friend.
Spencer, who is in his 60s, was reportedly approaching the visitors center when he spotted around 20 otters crossing a dimly-lit path in front of him. He claimed it was the first time he had seen the mustelids in the area despite taking his morning walks there for five months. The animal encounter went south after a jogger ran through the pack, causing the fish-eaters to go “crazy like dogs” and try to bite the passerby, the shocked senior told Singapore’s Today online newspaper.
Fortunately, the runner escaped, but the water weasels set their sights on Spencer, who believed they’d mistook him for the runner.
The ornery otters reportedly hit him in the ankles, pushed him down and leaped on top of Spencer, then proceeded to bite the prone man around his legs, shoes and buttocks, with one nipping his finger, according to the media reports.
“I was bitten 26 times in 10 seconds,” an aghast Spencer recalled to Today.
Salvation came after the victim’s friend, who was about “15 paces” away, ran up to him screaming and yelling in an attempt to scare the hairy hooligans away.
The cantankerous creatures ceased the attack momentarily, allowing Spencer to get up and make a break for it. The pair then ran for the visitor’s center with the otters in pursuit for a short distance, according to the Straits Times.
Spencer, who reportedly struggles to sleep or sit down due to the bites on his bottom, said he might even have to cancel an upcoming Christmas trip to the UK on account of not feeling well enough to travel.
They don’t call otters Aquatic Ass Assassins for nothing.
WTF? of the Week
Alec Baldwin Honors “Extraordinary” RFK Ripple of Hope Lauretes in Post-‘Rust’ Shooting Appearance
Alec Baldwin delivered jokes and praises for the activism and advocacy of the night’s honorees while serving as the master of ceremonies for the Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights 2021 Ripple of Hope Gala on Thursday night. Held at the New York Hilton Midtown Manhattan Hotel, the event marked Baldwin’s first public appearance since the Rust shooting.
Vice President Kamala Harris served as the gala’s keynote speaker, with numerous members of the Kennedy family in attendance along with in-person and virtual supporters of the human rights organization, including Martin Sheen and Richard Kind.
Baldwin began the evening by welcoming the crowd with a quip about his parenting. “I have six kids. Anything to get out of the house for 30 minutes,” he said to laughs before speaking briefly about the life and legacy of Robert F. Kennedy, who the actor declared “urges us to make gentle the light of the world.”
A guy who just shot someone to death hosts award ceremony named after a guy who was shot to death.
