Remember when we had a supermodel for a First Lady and the economy was booming? Now we have a frumpy fraulein for a FLOTUS and the whole country has gone to shit. Dr. Jill probably doesn’t think husband Joe can jump-start the economy so she’s trying to spice up her wardrobe by cosplaying as Trinity from “The Matrix.”
Jill Biden usually wears dresses that look like they were made out of curtains or tablecloths but yesterday when she and her hubby met Pakistan Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif she went a different direction:
Is there anything more sexy than a dumpy 71-year-old woman in a black glittery rubber dress? This looks like something one would were to an S&M bondage dungeon, not to meet a head of state. Sure, Pakistan ain’t exactly on the A-list, but still, have a little dignity, Jill.
You know how Kamala Harris’ speech writer hates her? Clearly whoever dress Jill Biden has the same level of contempt. There may be some women out there who would look good in that dress but Jill ain’t one of them.
Try to image Michelle Obama’s unsightly bulge in that dress. Or don’t. Definitely don’t.
The weird thing about this meeting is that it wasn’t covered by anyone in the U.S. press. Not a line, not a mention, nothing. Maybe it’s hard enough pretending like mumbly-mouthed Dementia Joe is okay and they didn’t want the added pressure of trying to spin Jill as a glamor queen.
Since there’s no press coverage of this historic meeting, I’m going to use my psychic abilities and my expertise on the Biden’s to estimate what happened:
Using a cheat sheet prepared by his handlers, Biden entered the room and shook hands with the Invisible Man. Jill then came over and directed him to PM Sharif, who Biden mistook for Nancy Pelosi. Once that was sorted out, Joe told an awesome story about how he used to let little black kids rub his hairy legs in the swimming pool. Sharif listened politely because he wanted Generous Joe to give him some money.
And like that, Biden pledged $107 billion of our money for Pakistan to build wind farms and promote gender equality. Sharif knows it’s going in his pocket, but he pretended to think green energy and trans rights are a priority for his backwards ass country.
At that point Jill told Sharif that the Pakistani people are as unique as breakfast tacos because she has no idea what kind of food they eat in Pakistan. She then tried to say a Pakistani phrase that means “yes we can” but it came out as “may your balls grow warts.” Again, Sharif was cordial because he wanted that fat Biden check.
After Sharif left, Jill held out both of her hands with a red pill in one and a blue pill in the other. She told Joe to decide and he took the blue pill which was Donepezil, an inhibitor used to treat memory loss associated with Alzheimers.
Once the pill kicked in, Joe looked at Jill and said, “What the f*ck are you wearing? You look like Alice Cooper and Edward Scissorhands had a baby.”
I defy anyone in the liberal media dispute my take on this meeting.
