This week we learned that Joe Biden tried to extort Saudi Arabian into delaying an announced cut in oil production until after the midterms. Here’s some other impeachable WTF? offenses:
Headline of the Week
ROME MAN JAILED AFTER DISPLAYING PENIS TO PUBLIC ON SHORTER AVENUE
Clifford Lavory Stocks, 62 of Rome, was arrested this week after reports said he removed his from his pants on Shorter Avenue in public and began to urinate in public.
While police was taking him into custody, they found him in possession of hydrocodine.
The incident occurred at 1944 Shorter Avenue.
Stocks is charged with public indecency, possession of a schedule II controlled substance and drugs not in original container.
He was going to do it on Longer Lane but knew it would be a lie.
Nuts of the Week
Trans politician left ‘violated’ after bigot grills her on genitals
Émilia Decaudin, an elected Democratic district leader and state committee member from the New York City borough of Queens, told PinkNews she was at a sports bar when a woman approached to ask about her role as female district leader.
A district leader is an unpaid, elected position, with each district having a male and female leader.
She was initially unperturbed by the enquiry, explaining that she gets it “every so often from people in the neighbourhood” who recognise her from her campaign work or advocacy on Twitter.
However, the tone of the conversation quickly shifted.
“She goes in and starts talking about ‘How can you represent vaginas?’ and I realised exactly at that moment where this was going,” said Decaudin.
“That put me on edge right away because I’ve dealt with, on occasion, trans stuff before, but I’ve never dealt with this particular kind of stuff in person, in my community before.”
She responded to the woman by asking: “Well, how do you know what’s in my pants? It’s kind of a weird question to ask.”
In turn, the woman began arguing that trans politicians couldn’t represent her.
“And I shoot back ‘I got like 8,000 votes two years ago when I first ran. I won this election pretty handily so I’m pretty sure I do represent you, and I like to think I’m doing a good job at it.’”
Decaudin said the woman finished her tirade by pointing to her young children and questioning how Émilia could “represent these vaginas” before leaving the bar.
The Democrat said the entire experience “felt very violating, in the sense that I was not at a political event where I’m on top of things and when someone comes up to me I’m ready to handle it”.
This never happened but the made-up “transphobe” has a point.
Boobs of the Week
Woman grabbed man’s groin and exposed breasts to him 10 times
A mother-of-three exposed her breasts to a man 10 times, pushed them against him and asked him for sex as well as reaching for his groin area and sexually assaulting him, a court heard.
Kelly McNamara, 39, grabbed the man’s genitals over his trousers and exposed her breasts to him after punching a clinical support worker who was trying to help her at the Tunbridge Wells Hospital in Pembury in June 2021.
McNamara had gone to the hospital for a mental health assessment and to be treated for some injuries.
However, she was found to be intoxicated while there and started acting aggressively.
She set off fire alarms and punched the clinical support worker on the back causing him pain and then slammed a door shut which then hit him on the elbow.
She then turned her attention to another man and asked him if he wanted to have sex with her.
McNamara, a former 999 call centre worker who had aspirations of becoming a paramedic, then exposed her breasts to him at least 10 times and reached for his groin and touched his genitals over his clothes.
She also pushed her bottom into him and pushed her breasts against him.
McNamara, of Gorham Drive, Tonbridge, was charged with two offences and admitted assault by beating on an emergency worker and sexual assault on a male when she appeared at Medway Magistrates’ Court on September 8.
How do you think she got those three kids?
Coconuts of the Week
Chinese drink maker at it again, suggesting coconut milk makes women busty
A popular Chinese drink maker known for falsely claiming its products make women’s breasts larger is at the centre of controversy again over an online advertising campaign making similar claims about breast enlargement.
Coconut Palm, China’s best-known coconut milk brand from the southern island province of Hainan, is under fire after inviting several women to promote its products in a series of live streams on video platform Douyin last week.
Wearing tight tops and shorts, the women danced in front of the camera with a can of coconut milk in their hands, triggering criticism that the company was again using claims of breast enhancement to boost sales after it had previously admitted they were groundless.
The company has been fined twice by local authorities in recent years for advertisements and packaging suggesting its product could promote breast enlargement.
The fines were imposed because the company had gone against “social graces” and “interfered with public order”, according to public administrative records.
It was the drink producer’s first attempt at this type of digital advertising.
“We will give more talent shows when we see 300,000 likes, and we’ll perform ‘wild motorcycle stunts’ when reaching 460,000 likes,” said the women in one streaming session last Wednesday.
I don’t care how baseless their claims are, busty Asian women doing motorcycle tricks sounds awesome.
Cups of the Week
Pinellas woman locks dog in room covered in ‘human feces,’ deputies say
A Safety Harbor woman was arrested and accused of locking a dog in a bedroom covered in human feces, according to arrest documents.
The Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office said 41-year-old Mahetab Bitar, of Safety Harbor, left her dog locked in an “unnecessarily cruel environment” on Tuesday.
Deputies said the Bitar’s apartment had “human feces and human urine stacked in cups” covering the home.
The dog was found locked in a rear bedroom on a bed that had dog feces covering it. The dog was also without food or water, deputies said.
Arrest documents described the air coming from the home as having a stench “compared to a dead body” despite the door being closed.
She’s the one who isn’t potty-trained. Bad human!
Friends of the Week
Woman ‘killed friend and dumped headless corpse in Devon woods’, court told
Osteopath Jemma Mitchell, 38, is accused of murdering 67-year-old Mee Kuen Chong, who was known as Deborah, in a falling out over money in June last year.
Ms Chong was reported missing from her home in Wembley, north London, on June 11 and her headless body was found by holidaymakers near the Devon town of Salcombe on June 27.
Opening Mitchell’s Old Bailey trial on Tuesday, Deanna Heer KC said: “It is the prosecution case that she assaulted and killed the deceased and then transported her body to Salcombe in a large blue suitcase where she attempted to dispose of it in the woods next to Bennett Road.”
Ms Heer told how the victim’s body was found by a woman out for a walk with her family on Sunday, June 27.
“As they walked back to their holiday cottage from the beach, they made a gruesome discovery – the headless body of a woman.”
On finding the remains lying at the bottom of some steps on a public footpath, the woman called police, the area was cordoned off and an extensive search began.
On July 1, the head was discovered around 10 metres away further down the hill in undergrowth.
A post-mortem examination was unable to determine the cause of death due to the degree of decomposition, Ms Heer said.
However, the torso appeared to have been cut and there were signs of assault, with a skull fracture suggesting “significant impact by a blunt object very shortly before death”.
Ms Heer said Mitchell befriended the victim through church and had visited her on the day she went missing.
She told jurors: “Although they were friendly, the evidence suggests that they had recently fallen out over money.”
According to their financial agreement, Ms. Chong was entitled to a cut off the top.
Bodies of the Week
Over 200 corpses found rotting on roof of Pakistan hospital
At least 200 rotting corpses were found on the roof of a hospital in Pakistan’s Multan on Friday. No confirmation or denial has been given yet by any government official over the number of bodies but it has decided to probe the incident.
As per official sources, dozens of bodies are rotting in the room built on the roof of Multan’s Nishtar Hospital. But, news circulating based on social media reports say hundreds of human body parts have been recovered from the roof.
Advisor to Chief Minister, Punjab, Tariq Zaman Gujjar said a whistleblower tipped him off about the incident, reported Geo News.
“I was on a visit in Nishtar Hospital when a man approached me and said if you want to do a good deed then go the morgue and check it out,” Gujjar said.
Advisor to Chief Minister, Punjab, Tariq Zaman Gujjar said a whistleblower tipped him off about the incident, reported Geo News.
“I was on a visit in Nishtar Hospital when a man approached me and said if you want to do a good deed then go the morgue and check it out,” Gujjar said.
He said when he reached there the staff wasn’t ready to open the doors of the mortuary. “To this, I said if you don’t open it right now, I am going to file an FIR against you,” Gujjar added.
Then, when he finally stepped in, he witnessed at least 200 bodies lying around. “All the decomposing bodies [of both men and women] were bare. Even women’s bodies weren’t covered.”
“Two of the bodies on the roof were rather in the early stages of decomposition. Maggots were all over them,” Gujjar said adding, “Vultures and worms were scavenging on the corpses on the roof. Our tally showed there were at least 35 bodies on the rooftop of the mortuary.”
And somehow this isn’t the foulest human stench in Pakistan.
Blades of the Week
Florida man armed with sword and machete attacks woman
A 32-year-old man has been arrested after he allegedly attacked a woman with a sword and a machete.
The incident occurred at an apartment around 6:41 a.m. on Oct. 8.
Authorities say Joseph Cortijo and his significant other were drinking when Cortijo became extremely violent:
“Both parties were drinking and began to have a verbal argument. During this argument, he stated several times ‘I’m going to kill you and the argument escalated to him striking her in the face with a closed fist several times. He armed himself with a machete and held the machete to her head, and said ‘I’m going to f_____g kill you ’ and swung it in her direction multiple times. The victim said she was afraid for her life. When she started to leave, he blocked her from leaving, standing in front of the door, and tackling her into the bed several times.”
According to the report, the victim was eventually able to escape and contacted the police.
Officials say they eventually made contact with Cortijo around 7:04 p.m. after he barricaded himself inside of the residence and refused to come out.
Minutes later Cortijo began making threats to harm themself:
“At 7:22, he stated, ‘if you come in I’ll smoke myself.’ He then made several more statements that if ‘we’ (PBSO) attempted to come in the home, he would kill himself and statements of suicide by cop.”
When the SWAT team was eventually able to get Cortijo out of the apartment, he tried to flee the scene but could not get away.
He’ll be swallowing swords in the prison shower.
Twins of the Week
Woman stunned to find her dog’s spitting image splattered in bird poo on Ford Fiesta
A woman was stunned to see a bird poo land on her mum’s car bonnet in the shape of her dog’s face.
People often claim to have spotted the likes of Jesus and Elvis in toast or the clouds but one woman says her own dog was sketched out thanks to a bird’s gift from above.
Hairdresser and waitress Nat Fabry, 50, was in hysterics at the sight of a “very clever bird’s” artistry on her mother Sandra Fish’s shiny white Ford Fiesta turned-canvas for dog etchings.
The mother, 73, and daughter from Bournemouth, Dorset, were meeting for a coffee at a garden centre but couldn’t leave the car park without marvelling at the creative dump.
“We found it hilarious and totally bizarre… a very clever bird,” Nat told the Daily Star.
Since sharing a snap of Sandra’s newly-embellished car bonnet on Facebook, Nat’s friends have pointed out that its a spitting image of a Labrador.
The more Nat looks at it, though, she can see her family’s dog Bentley.
You’ve heard of dog shit? Well, here’s shit dog.
Miscalculations of the Week
Fugitive wanted by police arrested after applying for job – with police
A woman applied to work as a security guard for a local sheriff’s office while she was wanted by police.
Zyeama Y. Johnson was arrested on October 4 after she attended what she thought was a job interview. Ironically she had applied to work for Hudson County in New Jersey, USA, in their specialist department for finding people who are wanted for outstanding warrants.
Johnson had been wanted by authorities in Monroe County, Pennsylvania for failure to appear in court on charges of fraud, as well as an additional 10 bench warrants for failure to appear in court on traffic charges in Jersey City.
“She applied for a job as a security guard,” a detective for the Hudson County Sheriff’s Office told Newsweek. “Obviously, as part of the background check process, we run them for warrants.”
“At that point, we called her in for an interview—or rather what she thought was an interview—and we took her into custody,” said the sheriff’s office spokesperson.
County Sheriff Frank Schillari told local news site NJ.com that after Johnson’s arrest, police took a routine inventory of Johnson’s property.
Sheriff’s officers discovered that she had two credit cards that had been reported stolen, and she was subsequently charged with credit card theft.
Asked why Johnson might have deliberately put herself at risk of arrest by applying for a job with the sheriff’s office as a fugitive from justice, the spokesperson said, “We don’t know.”
Maybe she’s just f*cking stupid.
Gobblers of the Week
Gang of turkeys to ‘receive death penalty’ after breaking bloke’s hips
A man was subject to a vicious attack by a gang of turkeys and a rooster that left the unfortunate victim with two broken hips.
The attack occurred in the Canadian province of British Columbia in July, when the assistance of Chase RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) was required in order to check on the man’s well-being at a home in Celista.
As they arrived at the address, the cops found an injured man who had been attacked by animals.
The man was soon found to have been attacked by a gang of turkeys who were accompanied by a rooster as they left the victim in a sorry state.
By the time the authorities arrived at the scene, the victim had already received medical attention with his injuries including two broken hips, a broken finger and multiple lacerations.
In a twist that many may have not been expecting, the birds in question are said to have been scheduled to receive the “death penalty for their crimes”, according to Sergeant Barry Kennedy.
Canadian gang violence is hilarious.
Peepers of the Week
Texas murderer who ate his own eye will stay on death row: SCOTUS
The US Supreme Court won’t take up the case of a Texas death row inmate convicted of murdering his family who claimed he didn’t receive a fair trial because of jurors opposed to interracial marriage.
Andre Thomas — who removed his eyes and ate one while in prison — claimed he went before a biased jury in his 2005 trial, where he was sentenced to death for killing his estranged wife and two children in a crime he said God told him to commit.
Thomas is black and his wife was white.
The inmate claimed the all-white jury convicted him because they didn’t approve of interracial marriage. At least three expressed the racist belief, with one allegedly noting on a questionnaire, “I think we should stay with our Blood Line.”
Thomas admitted to killing Laura Christine Boren, 20, their son, Andre Lee, 4, and Boren’s toddler daughter, Leyha Marie Hughes, claiming God told him to commit the deed.
He stabbed them to death and tried to rip their hearts from their chests so he could “set them free from evil.” He stabbed himself in the chest in what his attorney said was a suicide attempt.
While in jail five days later, he gouged out one of his eyes. Four years later, he plucked out the other eye and told a prison guard he ate it.
Unfortunately the SCOTUS didn’t see any merit in Thomas’ appeal.
Stereotypes of the Week
Woman sets world record as she wolfs down mega stack of chicken feet 60 seconds
A woman has set a new world record for eating the most chicken feet in one minute.
Vuyolwethu Simanile of South Africa was apparently quiet and unassuming as she approached the task, leaving people in shock as she set the new, impressive milestone.
She chomped through a whopping 4.26 ounces (121g) of feet in 60 seconds to accomplish the impressive feat.
Vuyolwethu beat away the challenges of four other foot-eaters in the battle for the crown.
Each participant was initially given 300g of chicken feet in a bowl, with competitors only allowed to eat one foot at a time.
Each of the five contestants is understood to have taken different approaches, however – some tried to force the feet down while others took a more measured and strategic approach.
Vuyolwethu took the second option, taking a calm and collected approach to the battle, putting away foot after foot.
The gelatine-like feet soon slowed people who came out of the blocks too fast, and instead, it was those who went at it with a slower and more methodical approach that did better.
The remaining plates were weighed, leaving her as the clear winner.
And speaking of eating gross shit, check this out:
WTF? of the Week
Teacher told student ‘eat my a**’ and sent kids oral sex simulation videos
An American teacher showed male pupils photographs of her vagina and invited one student to “eat my a**” after pulling her pants down at his home.
Natalie Black, a 27-year-old teacher at Hillside Arts and Letters Academy in the Queens borough of New York, also sent kids videos of herself simulating oral sex by “deep throating” a bottle of alcohol while dancing naked from the waist down.
Her highly inappropriate conduct started when she sent 15 raunchy images of herself “in lingerie or nude” to a 17-year-old male student towards the end of 2021.
In Black’s investigation, the 17-year-old pupil was interviewed by NYPD officers, but she did not face charges.
According to students at Hillside, the school community were never informed of the inquiry into her actions and she refused to cooperate with SCI investigators.
The report confirmed that Black was removed from New York City Department of Education services while the probe was ongoing and recommended that she should be taken off the workforce permanently “given her total unfitness as a pedagogue”.
But, on her LinkedIn account, she still claims to work for the Department of Education, who have declined to comment on her employment status.
New York has finally figured out how to teach CRT and pedophile sex grooming in the same class.
