There was no bigger WTF? this week than John Fetterman’s braindead debate performance against Dr. Oz. Here’s some more mental WTF? that’s a little less uncomfortable to see:
Headline of the Week
South Carolina mom who lost arms in pit bull attack busted for selling meth
A South Carolina mom who lost both her arms after she was mauled by a pack of pit bulls in March was arrested Tuesday for allegedly trafficking meth, a report said.
Kyleen Waltman, 39, was busted during a traffic stop in Abbeville County, where police say they found 8.3 grams of methamphetamine in her purse, authorities told The State.
After Waltman was told she was under arrest, she allegedly fessed up to having an additional 7.2 grams of drugs in bags in her pockets, the report said.
Waltman had both of her arms amputated to the shoulder and lost her vocal chords after the three dogs viciously attacked her on a sidewalk in the city of Columbia.
While in the hospital, she was devastated to learn that she wouldn’t be able to get prosthetic limbs due to the severity of her wounds, according to her sister Amy Wynne.
After the attack, which made national headlines, Wynne launched a GoFundMe campaign to help cover her sister’s medical expenses. As of Wednesday night, over 6,200 people had donated over $309,000 to the fundraiser.
How?
Dick of the Week
Death row inmate chops off penis with hidden razor after slitting wrists, asking for suicide watch
An unhinged Tennessee death row inmate used a hidden razor to lop off his penis after slitting his wrists and asking to be put on suicide watch, his lawyer said.
Henry Eugene Hodges — on death row for the 1990 murder of a telephone repairman — had the blood-soaked meltdown earlier this month over a food package.
Prison staff refused to let him have the special package because he was one month shy of a required six months of clear conduct, his lawyer Kelley Henry told the Associated Press.
To stop him from smearing feces around his cell, a correction officer decided to stop feeding him — leading Hodges to slit his wrists with the hidden razor at the Riverbend Maximum Security Institution in Nashville, she said.
Hodges then asked to be put on suicide watch at the infirmary, the lawyer said.
But a “high-ranking” officer told the person treating Hodges that he was manipulating them and could be placed on suicide watch when he was back in his cell — where he later cut off his penis, Henry said.
After his penis was reattached at a hospital, Hodges was sent back to the slammer, where he’s been restrained and confined to a thin mattress on a concrete block, she said.
That’s kind of like repiping a building that’s about to be demolished.
Pipe Cleaner of the Week
Teenage Girls Help Nab Boston Man Caught Sticking His Penis Inside Pipe
A Boston man was charged with exposing himself, among other lewd acts, in front of two 16-year-old girls last week, the Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office reports.
Boston Police responded to a school in East Boston where two teenage girls said Hamid Elalami, age 37, showed his penis while they were walking home from school after lunch, the office reports. The girls claimed to have seen Elalami put his penis inside a pipe as well.
When the girls walked away, Elalami followed them, with his penis still out. The girls took a photo of Elalami that was later used to identify him and lead to his arrest.
“These two girls deserve enormous credit for providing the information that helped police identify and arrest this suspect,” District Attorney Kevin Hayden said.
“It’s unfortunate that they had to witness such things, but the responsible actions they took provide an excellent example of community members and law enforcement working together to address crime in our neighborhoods.”
Elalami was arraigned on one count of open and gross lewdness and one count of indecent exposure on Friday, Oct. 21, the office reports.
He actually got charged with a separate count for f*cking a pipe.
Balls of the Week
OnlyFans creator Emma Rose reveals she flushed testicles down the toilet
A transsexual porn star has flushed her testicles down the toilet.
Emma Rose — an adult film star and OnlyFans creator — began the transition from male to female at the age of 21 and after successfully completing removal surgery, decided to dispose of her testicles as if they were a “goldfish” because she was unable to fly with them.
She said: “I got castrated! I couldn’t fly with them — because it’s biohazard waste — so I flushed them down the toilet like a goldfish. . You can literally feel the cords being pulled. They did one ball and then the other ball!”
Emma — whose penis remains intact following the operation — went on to add that she does not take testosterone blockers to feminise her appearance and revealed that the rest of her genitalia has “shrunk” since the procedure.
Why was he trying to fly with his severed nuts in a bag?
Paint Balls of the Week
Paintball marshal who shot boys in genitals and called them ‘c***s’ spared jail
Zack Ramage blasted his victims at point-blank range, hitting them “between the legs, on the feet and neck”, and called them “c***s”, a court heard.
The instructor was the only adult in attendance when he launched his rampage in the woods at Mayhem Paintball in Longfield, Kent, while parents were completely unaware of what was happening.
Despite being responsible for the children’s safety, parents say he “terrorised” them by hiding in bushes and taking shots at them.
He reportedly began the hour and a half long party last June by “shooting them in their genitals and their feet”. When one of the boys walked up to speak to him during the session, he responded by blasting him at point-blank range.
Other parents said that despite his duty of care, Ramage, 19 spent much of the paintballing session talking on his mobile phone.
The marshal was charged with 15 counts of assault by beating and six counts of cruelty to a child under 16 after six of the boys gave evidence in Woolwich Crown Court.
He was ordered to pay compensation and attend a work and victim empathy session, and was also handed a community order of 18 months including 150 hours of unpaid work.
One of the boy’s mothers, aged 39, from Gravesend, Kent, said: “It was absolutely shocking, unbelievable really that a person who was meant to be in charge of them would subject them to this.
She said as well as calling the children “c***s”, he also told them to “f**k off” and called them “sp****cs”. She said that after the party, the boys were unusually quiet before eventually opening up.
Any guesses on that last redacted cuss word?
Astroturf of the Week
I was turfed off Thorpe Park rides after staff said my boobs were too big
A ROLLERCOASTER fan was turfed off a crowded theme park’s rides — because her boobs were too big.
Staff told Ellie Scott, 27, to get off three attractions when her 38Es failed to fit under the safety bar.
The couple paid £118 for tickets plus £200 to upgrade to fast-track passes for the family at Thorpe Park in Surrey.
Carer Ellie was allowed to board The Swarm, Stealth and Nemesis but had to get off each ride because the safety restraints would not click into place.
Ellie, who has visited 40 theme parks before without issue, was told in front of queuers: “Your chest is too big.”
And they told her astonished 30-year-old hubby Josh: “Bring someone else next time.”
That’s some solid advice, bro.
Defunder of the Week
A progressive member of the Seattle City Council who has been a vocal critic of law enforcement amid the “defund the police” movement is criticizing police for not sufficiently pursuing reports of multiple instances of feces being thrown into her yard.
Seattle City Councilmember Kshama Sawant, a self-described socialist, sent a letter to police in Seattle this week claiming they are “failing to investigate” what she says are six separate instances of a politically motivated person throwing feces into her yard,” KCPQ-TV reported.
“There is obviously a glaring inconsistency between this approach and the way in which former Mayor Durkan, after a peaceful Black Lives Matter protest was held a short distance from her mansion, was provided with a 24-hour stakeout for a full year,” Sawant wrote in her letter, suggesting she deserved police protection as a result of the incidents. “As a socialist City Councilmember who has participated in Black Lives Matter protests, I am being told that my case of six threatening incidents involving human excrement doesn’t merit even a serious investigation, let alone protection.”
Sawant says she is planning to file a complaint against the police with the Office of Police Accountability.
Sawant was a leader of the charge to defund the police in Seattle over the last few years and proposed to slash the department’s budget by $85 million in 2020, KIRO-TV reported. She was among the hundreds of protesters who occupied city hall in 2020 for about an hour, demanding then-Mayor Jenny Durkan resign and that the police department be defunded.
Socialism is all about sharing, including shit.
Strobe Light of the Week
Man stares at woman and masturbates while deliberately turning lights on and off repeatedly
A man masturbated in full public view from his flat window while turning the light off and on deliberately. Terrence Kavanagh, 63, who has committed a string of offences — many of them sex offences — made one woman fear for her safety as a result of his vile behaviour.
Cardiff Crown Court heard that from July 24 to August 5 he repeatedly masturbated at the window of his flat knowing that people could see him. On July 24, shortly after midnight, Kavanagh stripped naked and masturbated while turning the lights on and off repeatedly and pulling blinds up and down slowly.
Jenny Yeo, prosecuting, told the court that the defendant did this for an hour. And he then went and did the same thing again on July 28 at around 9pm.
One of the women who saw him described themselves as feeling “anxious and uncomfortable” as a result of the incident. The court was told that the defendant was seen again masturbating while unclothed at midnight on August 4. On that occasion a woman said Kavanagh was “looking directly at her”, Ms Yeo explained.
Police visited Kavanagh the following day at his home at Whitchurch Road, Cardiff, where he apologised and said he “had been very silly”.
Judge Richard Williams said that despite Kavanagh having taken part in a number of psychological and behavioural programmes to help his behaviour, he continues to offend. Judge Williams described the defendant’s offending as “committed over a considerable period”.
He sentenced Kavanagh to 20 months in prison, saying: “You told your probation officer that you like doing what you do and I have reason to think that you will continue doing so. Being observed masturbating is at the heart of your pleasure. Prison prevents you from committing the offences.” Kavanagh will serve at least ten months behind bars.
Yeah, nobody masturbates in prison.
Drag Queen of the Week
Man dressed as a woman tried to have sex with a dog
A man who was dressed as a woman while trying to have sex with a dog has been jailed for 12 weeks after he was caught by a horrified member of the public.
Peter Lerwill, 30, admitted the vile act after he was initially arrested and kept in custody when the shocked onlooker alerted the police.
The dog was taken to a vet but was thankfully unharmed and later returned to its owner while a bail address where Lerwill would not have access to animals was searched for.
He has also been banned from owning or having any control of a dog for five years while also being placed on the Sex Offender’s register for the same amount of time.
A spokesman for Sussex Police said: ‘Lerwill, of Western Road, Hurstpierpoint, admitted attempted intercourse with an animal at Lewes Crown Court and was sentenced to 12-weeks in prison.
‘Lerwill was arrested after police received a report of a man dressed in women’s clothing involved in a sexual act with a dog. The dog was immediately taken to a vet for an assessment and any care. Thankfully it did not suffer any physical injury and was returned to its owner.
‘Forensic samples obtained during the dog assessment strengthened the case that there had been activity of a sexual nature with the dog,’ the spokesman added.
He can appeal on the grounds that he identifies as a bitch.
Fetch of the Week
Dog runs down street with human head in mouth after remains left near cash point
A sickening video has emerged of a dog running down a street in Mexico with a decapitated human head in its mouth after human remains were left near a cash machine.
Terrified residents of Monte Escobedo, Zacatecas saw the animal fleeing a grisly crime scene with the dismembered head after it was left there late Wednesday night (October 26).
Police weren’t able to establish cordon off the crime scene and investigate the killing before the stray dog made it’s getaway.
In a video, which was posted on social media, the dog was seen heading down a dark street, holding the head by the neck in its jaws.
It is believed the animal was looking for a safe place to eat it before police had to wrestle the head away.
Officials have said that the head was left at the ATM with a sign warning that ‘the next head is yours’ on a cardboard placard.
The message was allegedly signed by the Jalisco New Generation Cartel (CJNG), one of the most feared cartels in the world headed by El Mencho.
Mencho is one of Mexico’s most wanted men and the US Drug Enforcement Administration is offering a $10m (£7.2m) reward for information leading to his capture.
Send the dog after him. He’s already got the scent.
Early Bird Special of the Week
Missing grandma’s body found in monster python that swallowed her whole
A grandmother was swallowed whole by a 22-foot-long python in Indonesia — with shocking video capturing the moment her remains were found inside the cut-open beast.
Police told CNN Indonesia that a search was launched after the victim, only identified as Jahrah, 54, failed to return from collecting rubber from a plantation in Jambi province on Sunday.
Her husband searched the area, but only found his wife’s sandals, jacket, headscarf and knife, Betara Jambi Police Chief AKP Herafa told the outlet.
He returned to the same area with a search party the next day — stumbling across the giant snake with a swollen mid-section where it had eaten something large, police confirmed.
Wild video shows a volunteer carefully using a branch to pin the python’s head down as others started bashing it above the swollen area.
The disturbing clip then cut to villagers carefully slicing it open — revealing what officials say was the swallowed body of the missing grandma.
“Everyone was astonished,” Anto, the head of the local Terjun Gajah village, told ViralPress.
“It turned out that the woman we were looking for was in the snake’s stomach.”
I had the same problem when I lost my keys.
Undertaker of the Week
‘Disrespectful’ Playboy model slammed for twerking on gravestones for Halloween
A Playboy model has been branded “disrespectful” after she was filmed twerking on gravestones for a Halloween post.
Amanda Nicole Martin transformed into infamous movie villains like the Bride of Chucky, Lady Death, and Ursula for the controversial stunned, which was posted to her Instagram account.
But one of the posts by the 27-year-old model from Las Vegas became the centre of controversy after she was seen strutting among headstones and twerking on graves.
In the clip, the model appeared as comic book character Lady Death – posing in a cape, baseball bat and skimpy black bikini, as well as latex stockings and grey body paint.
She wrote in the caption: “Rate my Lady Death look 1-100.”
But fans were left divided over the clip as they branded her ‘disrespectful’ for her risqué display in a resting place for the dead.
One person said: “This is sick but ain’t it a slight disrespect to do this all at a graveyard?”
“We just gonna ignore the fact she’s at a cemetery,” wrote someone else.
A third commented: “This has to be disrespectful at a graveyard.”
“Are you actually in a graveyard? People nowadays,” a fourth asked.
Amanda also clarified that it was actually a pet cemetery – adding that if she gets haunted she’d prefer it be by “puppy ghosts”.
Imagine being that starved for attention.
WTF? of the Week
Woman stabbed 100 times, beheaded by drunk boyfriend after refusing to have sex with him
Justin Fields, 38, is charged with murdering 52-year-old Tammy Bailey after he got blackout drunk celebrating his birthday, police told Al.com.
When police discovered Bailey, her head was found lying by her feet and one of her arms had been severed, Blount County Sheriff Mark Moon said.
The couple had gone out to several local bars on Friday night to celebrate Fields’ birthday before they returned to Bailey’s house where the two lived together.
When they got back, Fields drank a glass of brandy and was playing guitar in his bedroom when he decided he wanted to have sex, Moon said. He went into Bailey’s room and asked her.
“She refused him,’’ Moon said, “and, according to his statement, it frustrated him, and he stabbed her in the chest.”
After he allegedly stabbed her, Fields told investigators that he blacked out and fell asleep. When he woke up Saturday morning and saw her bloody body, he thought he was having a nightmare and stabbed her over 100 times with the eight-inch blade.
“We’re pretty sure she was dead on the first blow,’’ Moon said. “When he went back in there the next day, she had not moved.”
Fields called his father in a panic and told him that he “had done something horrible” and wanted to kill himself. The father then called one of Bailey’s relatives who lives nearby.
When she went to the house, Fields refused to let her inside, telling her “what’s inside is terrible and she doesn’t want to see it,’’ Moon said. She then called 911.
“He admitted to my investigator everything he’d done so he was stable enough to know what he was doing,’’ Moon said. “He was frustrated because he didn’t get what he wanted.”
That guy had a girlfriend?
