This week’s biggest WTF? was the liberal media trying to hide the realities of Paul Pelosi’s special friend David. Here’s some other shocking WTF? lame stream media won’t touch with a ten-foot hammer:
Headline of the Week
US Air Force Says Penis-Shaped Flight Path Pointed at Russian Base Is a Coincidence
The Air Force said Friday that a KC-135 Stratotanker’s peculiar flight path, which aviation enthusiasts said resembled the shape of a penis while flying close to a Russian base in Syria, was not intentional.
Twitter accounts monitoring Flightradar24, a website that tracks planes, quickly pointed out Wednesday that the phallic-shaped flight path consisting of two circles and one large oval was suspect, and pointed directly at Russian forces. The Italian newspaper la Repubblica even wrote an article about the incident, stating “the shape in fact is unequivocally that of a penis,” according to an English translation.
But the Air Force quickly responded that the crew of the KC-135 — which was flying between the Middle Eastern island country of Cyprus and the coastal Syrian city of Tartus, where Russia has a naval base — acted appropriately.
“We’re aware of the incident and are talking with the KC-135 crew to determine the details,” an Air Force spokesperson told Military.com in an email. “At this time, we do not believe the crew acted inappropriately, flying a refueling orbit consistent with requirements that met the needs of receiver aircraft.”
The sky penis was a coincidence but the sky vagina was deliberate.
Trick of the Week
Trick or Treat Complaint Leads to Arrest of Alpha Male in a Pink Bunny Costume
A Halloween night call in Alpha Borough on Monday night led to the arrest of a 52-year-old male charged for allegedly exposing himself in a pink bunny costume.
Phillipsburg police arrived on the scene and spoke with witnesses who reported Thomas Mohring was exposing his genitals to an adult female and her ten-year-old son while they were trick or treating in Alpha, NJ.
In a statement from the Warren County Prosecutor’s Office, Thomas Mohring was charged November 3, 2022 with Endangering the Welfare of a Child (Sexual Conduct), a third degree offense and Lewdness, a fourth degree offense. The third-degree offense carries a maximum of five years in New Jersey State Prison, while the fourth degree carries a maximum of eighteen months in New Jersey State Prison.
Alpha males don’t wear pink bunny costumes.
Dick of the Week
Matthew McConaughey has described how his mum wanted to show off his dad’s penis when he died.
Speaking on episode of the WTF with Marc Maron podcast, the actor explained that his father predicted he would die whilst having sex and this came true.
“I found out later that when the ambulance came to get him at the house, obviously all the neighbours came out on the street,” he said.
“And they came and told me later that my mum, in her negligee nightie that she had woke up in, wouldn’t let the paramedics cover him.
“She kept ripping the sheet off going: ‘Uh-uh, I want the world to see why his nickname was Big Jim, don’t you cover him!'”
He had previously described his father’s death in his 2020 memoir Greenlights. He wrote: “I got a call from my mum: ‘Your dad died.’ My knees buckled.
“I couldn’t believe it. He was my dad. Nobody or nothing could kill him. Except mum.
“He’d always told me and my brothers, ‘Boys, when I go, I’m gonna be makin’ love to your mother.’ And that’s what happened. He had a heart attack when he climaxed.”
Sounds like a fun family.
Toothpick of the Week
My wife shrunk my manhood, now useful only for urinating – Husband
A 51-YEAR old man, who was dragged before the Lusaka Boma Local Court, Zambia by his wife has pleaded that his marriage be spared because in the absence of his wife, his manhood shrinks to the size of a toothpick size and useful only for urinating.
According to Zambia Observer, Francis Daka of Linda compound pleaded that ending his 32-year-old marriage to Grace Mwanza, aged 47, with whom he has nine children, would automatically result in his premature retirement from all sexual duties, since the traditionalist who helped his wife in afflicting his manhood was dead and his state irreversible.
“Even right now if the court wants, we can get a male court clerk and go to the bathroom to see how tiny my manhood is compared to when I’m with my wife, you will see the tremendous change in size,” Daka told the court presided over by Justice Martha Tembo.
Daka told the court that the only time his manhood assumed its right size and function well was when he was behind closed doors with his wife.
However, Grace insisted that she no longer wanted Daka as her husband because he was a foul-talking man who insulted her even in the presence of their children.
Toothpicks are useful for picking teeth as well.
Sting of the Week
Policewoman from under-fire force ‘filmed pleasuring herself while in uniform and on duty’
A policewoman from Britain’s worst-ever force filmed a sex video while in uniform and on duty, a disciplinary panel heard.
WPC Clare Ogden, 40, sent the clip of her pleasuring herself to her partner. She also shot two other videos of a sexual nature at Redcar police station, it was alleged.
When confronted, she told senior officers she was not technically on duty when she made the videos because she had been on her lunch break.
WPC Ogden, who joined the force in 2004, told the hearing making the sex video was an “ill-judged spur of the moment decision”.
She added: “I went downstairs in the office to use the bathroom. I was caught in the moment.
A disciplinary panel was told that was ‘no excuse’ for behaviour of which the public would take a ‘dim view’ that would damage the force’s reputation.
“Partner” is code for “not someone of the opposite sex.”
Thing of the Week
Transgender Army vet opens up about horrific ‘abuse’ she faced while serving in the military
Caregiver and former army-medic administrative Staff Sergeant Maxine Montoya, 41, from San Diego, California, transitioned in her thirties and is now on a mission to fund new 4,000 CC boobs via OnlyFans.
Maxine was born a male and was raised in a ‘very sheltered, conservative household’, which caused her to realize she didn’t want to adhere to stereotypical gender roles and had her own path that was different in comparison to most of her friends and family.
Although she felt the most comfortable around other girls and being feminine, Maxine attempted to adhere to the traditional gender roles and joined the Army at her mother’s request – where she faced ‘threats’ that ultimately reaffirmed her to decision to transition once she was out of the Army and amp up her breast size to feel ’empowered’.
Maxine claimed she was relentlessly bullied while trying to adhere to a masculine culture during her military career, which she felt was ‘the antithesis of her existence.’
‘I was in a culture that did not accept me. I didn’t come out as transgender in the military, however, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t experience dysphoria.
‘I was wearing a skirt and some makeup, I was walking around BX food court, minding my own business, getting a spot of lunch.
‘Word of that got back to someone in my chain of command and I ended up receiving what were flat out threats against my career.
‘Later, I had a closed-door meeting with my superintendent, who verbally abused me with harsh transphobic rhetoric.
‘The superintendent said, “Do you want to be known as Sergeant Montoya, who shows up to work on time and does his job, or Sergeant Montoya, the man in a dress.”
What’s that old saying about putting lipstick on pig?
Asshole of the Week
Man shot himself in buttocks with stolen gun
A Las Vegas man is facing charges after allegedly buying a stolen gun that later discharged a round into his buttocks.
A criminal investigation began the evening of Oct. 24 after officers with the Las Vegas Police Department responded to Alta Vista Regional Hospital. Officers were called to the hospital after 42-year-old Elus U. Prabakhar-Atman checked in to be treated for a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Prabakhar-Atman told police he’d gone to a friend’s home in Las Vegas around 6:30 p.m. to show him a gun he’d purchased from someone in Albuquerque. Prabakhar-Atman said he tossed the gun onto the passenger seat of his vehicle, then heard “a loud bang” before feeling pain in his buttocks, according to a criminal complaint filed in San Miguel Magistrate Court on Monday.
Police searched his Dodge truck and located a .45-caliber pistol. The Star Model PD, manufactured in Spain by Star Bonifacio Echeverria, had been reported stolen in Albuquerque.
Police also located one shell casing and two holes in the driver seat, “which appeared to have been where the round traveled through,” according to the complaint.
Even the gun hates that guy’s name.
Shithole of the Week
2 arrested after kids found in home with dog feces, dirty diapers
Police in Texas arrested the mother of four children and a man after they reportedly found the kids living in unsanitary and dangerous conditions.
The allegations are detailed in probable cause affidavits for Justin Calhoun, 33, and Dalys Weihausen, 29. Weihausen is identified as the mother of four children, ages 12, 11, 6 and 7 months. The reports did not clarify the relationship between the two suspects.
Police said they were first called to a mobile home park Saturday night after Calhoun allegedly fired a gun toward a neighbor during a dispute over a car blocking a driveway, KBTX reports.
According to police, when officers asked to go inside Calhoun’s trailer to search for the gun used, Weihausen objected by saying she didn’t want her children to see or interact with law enforcement.
The report says after a search warrant was obtained, a detective and an officer proceeded to enter the home but had to wear protective suits and respiratory masks due to the “overwhelming and nauseating smell of ammonia and feces” coming from inside.
According to police, several piles of fresh and old dog feces were found scattered inside the home along with puddles of dog urine. Cockroaches and other insects were seen throughout the home along with dirty diapers on the floor.
Police described the door going into the kids’ room as dry-rotted and flimsy and was blocked by heavy bean bags. Only one of the mattresses in the kids’ bedroom had a sheet. The other was stained.
The home was described as “hazardous.”
“There was a clear and present danger due to the living conditions. There was no safe route out of the home if there were a threat of fire or imminent danger due to the clutter and trash located inside the residence,” police said.
Both Calhoun and Weihausen were arrested and charged with four counts of child endangerment.
And yet she finds time to dye her hair.
Curse of the Week
A Florida man driving a vehicle missing two tires was pulled over by law enforcement and alleged that paranormal activity was responsible.
Andres Orjuela-Montealegre, 29, was stopped on an Interstate 75 ramp near Marion Oaks on October 23 at about 4 a.m. after Marion County Sheriff’s deputies noticed the vehicle’s hazard lights were on and that the tires on the driver’s side appeared deflated.
A deputy then realized that the tires were not deflated but were missing and Orjuela-Montealegre was “driving on what remained of the rim,” the Sheriff’s office wrote on Facebook.
When asked about the damage to the vehicle, Orjuela-Montealegre told the deputy someone had put a curse on him and that he had hit a curb too hard. The driver said he was given a “do or die” choice in which he could either drive home without tires or set the car on fire and sleep on the median, body camera footage shows.
The driver was then instructed to step out of the vehicle but appeared unsteady on his feet. The deputy asked him to perform field sobriety tests.
He began cursing and using insults and claimed to the deputy that the damage to his car was from “paranormal activity.”
“Somebody put a curse on me,” the driver said. “That is paranormal activity.”
Orjuela-Montealegre eventually threatened deputies.
“If you mess with me right now, let me tell you something, I’m going to break your head with a baseball bat,” he told the deputy. “I’m going to … skin you alive.”
The driver continued to make threats and was ultimately arrested.
While two deputies conducted a search of the driver, he spat in the face of one of them and continued with his threats and cursing. As the deputy went to wipe the spit from his face, Orjuela-Montealegre began grabbing for their taser.
Orjuela-Montealegre had to be picked up and put in the back of the patrol car, where he kicked both deputies.
I bet the curse was meth.
Muggle of the Week
Drug dealer dubbed ‘Harry Pothead’ after Harry Potter-like mugshot goes viral
A spectacled drug dealer has been dubbed “Harry Pothead” over his uncanny resemblance to Harry Potter.
Tom Hayes, 23, was trolled for his mugshot after people spotted the similarity when they read about his sentencing at Norwich Crown Court.
The drug dealer was jailed for three years after pleading guilty to operating a county lines drug gang which caked the city in heroin and cocaine.
The 23-year-old, from Merseyside, was pictured in jam jar glasses, with full jet black hair.
He received an unlikely reaction for his crime and was ridiculed for looking like the famous character, reports The Sun.
One person joked: “Harry Potter’s new film is called ‘Harry and the bag of haunted heroin’.”
Another reader wrote: “Harry Potter has let himself go.”
Apparently he used owls to distribute the drugs.
Ginger of the Week
Bodybuilder strangled dog in back of police car before threatening to sexually attack it
Michael McCormack, 33, was travelling in the back of the police vehicle to his sister’s house with the animal after his partner allegedly attacked him on August 4, 2020.
A court heard, however, that McCormack suddenly became “abusive” and “aggressive”, Manchester Evening News reported.
McCormack made threats that he would sexually assault the animal before choking it with its own lead, causing it not to be able to breathe properly, one of the officers in the car claimed.
PC Jackson from Cheshire Police, one of the two officers who were driving McCormack to his sister’s home in south Manchester, said the man was “meek and mild” and “very apologetic” to start with.
However, he claimed McCormack “became more and more aggressive” and was “talking nonsense”, while the dog started “growling.”
He said during the journey McCormack “became verbally abusive to the dog he had with him and was “making comments to the dog that he wanted to sexually assault the dog.”
It was then that PC Jackson saw McCormack was throttling the dog.
“He was making the dog suffer somewhat,” he said. “It was growling. It was clearly struggling to breathe.” PC Jackson then said he wrestled the dog from McCormack and put it in the front passenger footwell, away from the bodybuilder.
The two cops travelling with him then wrangled the dog from him but the trio became embroiled in a “struggle” while driving down a busy dual carriageway.
The vehicle had to make a stop and the officers used incapacitant spray to restrain him before calling for back-up.
The man has since been convicted in his absence at Stockport Magistrates Court after he failed to attend his own trial, and a warrant has been issued for his arrest.
This is the result of a balding ginger’s raid rage.
WTF? of the Week
Woman ‘murdered husband’ and ‘made daughter’s boyfriend dismember his corpse’
A mother has been arrested after allegedly shooting her husband, and then forcing her daughter’s boyfriend to dismember the body.
Bonnie Marie Vaughan, 59, was charged with aggravated murder after her husband Jeffrey Fellman’s horribly mutilated body was found in the garage of the home they shared in Warren County, Ohio.
She is also accused of coercing John Thomas Havens, 34, into helping her conceal the victim’s body.
“On September 19, 2022, at 6:15 p.m., in the City of Middletown, defendant Vaughan shot her husband multiple times resulting in his death,” prosecutors say.
“On September 20, 2022, defendant Vaughan had defendant John Havens come over to her house and dismember the body in an effect to dispose of the body.”
Fellman, 55, died of multiple gunshot wounds, including severe damage to his liver, and the dismemberment was took place after his death, according to Warren County Coroner Dr. Russell Uptegrove.
Middletown Detective Brook McDonald told the court that when interviewed, Vaughan told him: “She and her husband had gotten into an argument the previous night while inside the garage. She said she got frightened and shot him”
Prosecutors say Vaughan shot Fellman “multiple times” at around 6:15pm on Monday September 19 and called Havens to come and dismember the body the following morning.
Havens said he dismembered the body using a handsaw from the garage, according to court documents.
Havens reported the crime to police later that day, but still faces charges of tampering with evidence and gross abuse of a corpse.
Vaughan was tracked down to a nearby petrol station about two hours later. There were several guns in the car with her at the time of her arrest, Detective McDonald said.
Looking at her, I’m sure her husband welcomed death.
