Michelle Obama is built like a power forward, complete with unsightly bulge, and would stick out in a crowd, including the NBA All-Star game. The former first lady however claims that racism erases tall back women like her and she has to fight in order to be seen.
Michelle Obama has written a new book titled “Stop Staring At My Penis!” Actually it’s called “The Light We Carry” and it’s her effort to make COVID-19, the George Floyd riots, and January 6 all about her. In an interview with People magazine, she talked about what inspired her to write another book about herself:
“We were all at home watching what felt like our country and our world unraveling. The death tolls mounting, violence, the insurrection, healthcare system crushed, all of it. I was in a low place,” said Obama.
People all across the country were suffering and dying. They were isolated by lockdowns and saw their jobs and businesses destroyed. Meanwhile, in a huge mansion Michelle Obama got a case of the sads watching TV.
“Everyone was searching for some answers of how to cope. And for some reason they were asking me, ‘What do you do?’ I had to start thinking about that,” Obama said.
And then she put her unsolicited opinions in a book that she claims is self-help but is actually just another love letter to herself. That, and another attempt to garner sympathy.
“Over the 58 years that I’ve lived, I can look back and I can say, this is how I deal with fear. These are the things I say to myself when I need to pick myself up. This is how I stay visible in a world that doesn’t necessarily see a tall Black woman. This is how I stay armored up when I’m attacked. The book is that offering,” said Obama.
Damn this racist world that tries to make tall black women invisible.
Of course there is the inconvenient fact that Michelle Obama is like a turd in a punchbowl in that she sticks out like a…well, like a turd in a punchbowl. You can’t not notice her and unfortunately you can’t unsee her.
Michelle said she also wrote the book to show people she is vulnerable and to detail “her personal experience with racism.”
“I personally have plenty of mornings when I flip on the bathroom light, take one look, and desperately want to flip it off again,” Obama wrote in the book.
Join the club. Ain’t nobody wanna look at that anaconda, including her.
The interview, like Michelle Obama herself, was mostly pretty boring but there was one interesting tidbit of information. Apparently Michelle is best friends with Hunter Biden’s ex-wife Kathleen Buhle. You put cracked-out Hunter with a well-endowed black woman and suddenly you have an interesting chapter. Too bad there’s no way Michelle wrote anything like that.
Michelle Obama, who has lived a life of undeserved reward and privilege, wants everyone to think she’s just a regular person but most of all, she wants our pity because racism has oppressed her and made her invisible. If only that were true.
