The biggest WTF? this week is not that much interesting stuff happened. Here’s a little WTF? jolt to spice things up:
Headline of the Week
Raccoon stuck to railway by his testicle rescued by railway workers using warm water and a shovel
A railroad worker rescued a raccoon from an oncoming train after its testicles hair froze to the track.
Neil Mullis, 35, found the traumatized animal and carefully freed him using warm water and a shovel.
Mr Mullis, from Cochrane, Georgia, USA, said: ‘I poured the warm water under his bottom while a co-worker worked the shovel under his butt to try and break him loose.
‘After about five minutes of slowly working him loose, he was free. He jumped off the rail and ran into the woods never looking back.’
In the video filmed on 19 December 2022, Mr Mullis can be heard saying ‘poor b***ard’s n**s are frozen to the rail’ as he finds it.
After freeing the animal with hot water and a shovel, Mr Mullis cuts to the aftermath.
He says: ‘Operation well performed! Little fella’s safe.’
Was the raccoon trying t have sex with the rail?
Hard Rock of the Week
Penis-shaped rock believed to ‘improve performance in bed’ attracts visitors
Men from near and far are visiting a bizarre penis-shaped landform with hopes some of its mythical sexual magic will rub off — or help them find a soulmate.
Locals and tourists in Indonesia are floating along the rocky inlets in Sukabumi Regency, West Java, to see the notorious “penis rock.”
Decades of erosion and weathering erected a natural stone formation into a shape resembling a man’s genitals.
Men visit the oddity with hopes to improve their performance in bed, while women pray to meet the man of their dreams to fulfill their desires.
The bizarre stone can be seen jutting out from an islet in the Ciletuh Palabuhanratu Unesco Global Geopark area near Cikepuh Beach.
“This stone has been around for a long time. It may have been formed thousands of years ago and local people call it a penis rock,” said Andri Hidayana, a member of the Sukabumi District legislature.
“There are myths surrounding it. Maybe [once] a week or once a month, many visitors there perform some kind of ritual. It is said that men who visit there will become ‘mighty men’ in bed.”
The picturesque penis is only accessible by a 30-minute perilous boat journey along the jagged rocks.
If you need to look at a dick rock to be good in bed, you’re not good in bed.
Experiment of the Week
Chinese man, 72, loses part of his penis after leaving metal ring on his member for six months
An elderly Chinese man lost part of his penis after a sexual experiment backfired horribly.
The 72-year-old slipped a 2cm-thick metal ring around the base of his member but it got stuck.
And he left it on his genitals for six months before seeking help, doctors revealed.
He only sought help following a bout of ‘intense pain’ the previous day.
Detailing the unidentified man’s gruesome incident in the Asian Journal of Surgery, surgeons shared pictures showing how his member was significantly swollen.
Ulcers were also visible on the ‘surrounding skin’.
But he didn’t complain about any difficulties urinating.
Doctors in Changsa, central China, initially tried to remove the ring using ordinary tools but their attempts failed.
They resorted to asking the fire brigade to borrow professional cutting equipment in the form of a heavy wire cutter.
But, again, efforts to remove the ring failed.
Medics eventually got it off using a circular saw — often relied on to cut through metal — and another heavy-duty tool.
Cutting metal creates heat as a by-product, so the man’s penis had to be sprayed with water to keep it cool during the procedure.
But it proved too late to save the entirety of his penis, according to the team at The Third Xiangya Hospital of Central South University.
Dead tissue at the root of the penis, caused by a lack of blood flow, was removed and the wound was stitched up.
Three incisions were also made into the man’s penis to place ‘drainage strip’ across it to relieve the swelling.
This is a common condition in China known as Ring Wang Wrong Dong.
Knockout of the Week
Transgender woman accused of raping two mums with ‘her penis’ had tattoo on her face like Mike Tyson
A TRANSGENDER woman accused of raping two mums with ‘her penis’ had a tattoo on her face like Mike Tyson, a court has heard.
The mum and sister of one of two women Isla Bryson is alleged to have raped described the accused, who they knew as Adam Graham, as “bald” and “stocky”.
They were giving evidence on the fourth day of Bryson’s trial at the High Court in Glasgow where the accused pleads not guilty and has lodged a special defence of consent.
Asked by Advocate depute John Keenan KC to describe the accused’s appearance in 2016, the woman’s sister said: “His head was bald.
“He had a Mike Tyson tattoo on the side of his face. He was stocky but not overly.”
The witness told the court her sister confided in her days after an alleged incident on September 16 in Clydebank.
She said: “She had told me that he had wanted sex and that she had said no.
“She said she had to do it anyway and she said she was scared.”
The woman’s mother also gave evidence from behind a screen as she recalled hearing her daughter saying, “Don’t do that. Stop.”
She told the court Bryson and her daughter, 30, where in a bedroom together on the night it is alleged she was raped.
Asked to describe the accused’s appearance, she said: “Very bald and a kind of big tattoo coming down his face and his neck.”
Blonde Bryson, wearing a pink jacket and pink leggings, later became emotional as she gave evidence in her own defence, insisting she only had consensual sex with both women.
Under questioning by Edward Targowski KC, defending, she said: “I would never hurt another human being. I would never hurt any woman.”
Bryson, 31, denies raping the mum in 2016 and another woman, 34, in Glasgow on June 27, 2019.
Good luck unf*cking that one.
Load of the Week
Masturbating man hacks into Zoom council meeting: ‘Shocked and appalled’
An online council meeting descended into chaos after a self-pleasuring citizen popped up on camera partway through the proceedings.
Councilors in Flintshire, Wales, were arguing over waste strategy via Zoom on Tuesday evening when they were interrupted by the masturbating member of the public.
The horny man — who was completely nude and had the screen name “James Trainor” — was seemingly an exhibitionist who deliberately dialed into the discussion while pleasuring himself. He did not appear to have been inadvertently busted enjoying a solo session — à la infamous Zoom perv Jeffrey Toobin.
“C-m, I want you to c-m with me,” the kinky culprit could be heard moaning during the meeting as council members reacted in horror to the jaw-dropping — and drawer-dropping — display.
Footage from the meeting was first shared by the news site Deeside.com and shows the proceedings going smoothly until “James Trainor” joins the Zoom meeting.
“Someone’s joined the meeting … James Trainor?” one councilor states in confusion.
“Sorry, I’m just joining late,” the man can be heard responding.
“Sorry, who are you? Are you a member of the public?” another official asked. “We ask all people who dial into the meeting to remain on mute, but of course members of the public are perfectly welcome to watch because this is a public meeting.”
Shortly after, the man flashed up on the screen pleasuring himself while naked.
The meeting was quickly cut off before it later resumed without “James Trainor” in attendance.
It’s unclear how the masturbating man was able to join the Zoom meeting as the link to the proceedings was only given out to officers and councilors.
One female council member believed that the culprit “hacked” his way into the online meeting.
He’s a hacker and a whacker.
Storm of the Week
Bizarre pink ‘vagina cloud’ sighting rocks Twitter: ‘I hate my dirty mind’
Locals in Bursa, Turkey, were awed Thursday morning by a huge, distinctively shaped cloud that was seen glowing like a pie in the sky.
Hundreds took to social media to share footage of the unusual pink formation, with their videos quickly going viral across the world.
Many tawdry Twitter users responded to clips of the cloud, saying the natural phenomena bore a startling resemblance to female genitalia.
“A giant vagina!” one pervy pundit proclaimed.
“Oh man, I hate my dirty mind. I should quit watching porn,” a second sleazy social media user quipped.
The online excitement even caught the attention of “The Crown” actress Gillian Anderson, who also implied that the cloud looked like a human vagina.
“Now if this isn’t a sign I don’t know what is (That God is a woman),” the “First Lady” star, 54, stated in a tweet shared with her 965,000 followers.
There’s something fishy about that cloud.
Nip Slip of the Week
Facebook, Instagram may lift ban on bare breasts — but only for trans, non-binary
Facebook and Instagram may allow transgender and non-binary users to flash their bare breasts — but women who were born female and who are eager to “free the nipple” are out of luck, according to Meta’s advisory board.
Meta’s Oversight Board — an independent body of experts which Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg has called the company’s “Supreme Court” for content moderation and censorship policies — ordered Facebook and Instagram to lift a ban on images of topless women for anyone who identifies as transgender or non-binary, meaning they view themselves as neither male or female.
“The same image of female-presenting nipples would be prohibited if posted by a cisgender woman but permitted if posted by an individual self-identifying as non-binary,” the board noted in its decision.
A “cisgender” person is anyone who identifies as the sex or gender that they were assigned at birth.
The board cited a recent decision to overturn a ban on two Instagram posts by a couple that describes themselves as transgender and non-binary that posed topless but covered their nipples — only to have the post flagged by other users.
Meta banned the image, but the couple won their appeal and the photo was restored online.
Meta will rely on “human reviewers” who will be tasked with “quickly assess[ing] both a user’s sex, as this policy applies to ‘female nipples,’ and their gender identity,” the board said.
They will also allow pictures of vaginas as long as they are dicks.
Lesson of the Week
Woman accused of stabbing boyfriend for urinating in their bed after a night of drinking
Deputies with the East Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office have arrested 25-year-old Briana Lacost for allegedly stabbing her boyfriend after he urinated in their bed.
On Saturday, January 14, deputies were called out to a local hospital to investigate a stabbing.
According to arrest documents, the pair had been out drinking heavily, then returned to their home on Meadowview Avenue Saturday morning at around 3:30.
The victim told detectives he was sleeping when Lacost woke him up and started hitting him for wetting the bed. He tried to restrain her, but she allegedly continued to hit him.
According to arrest documents, the victim said when he was trying to leave and go to a family member’s house, that’s when Lacost charged at him with a kitchen knife and stabbed him.
Deputies say the victim was stabbed in the left side of his torso with a knife, puncturing his lung.
According to arrest documents, Lacost admitted to deputies she stabbed her boyfriend, but it was after he allegedly choked her during the altercation. She also told investigators she attempted to provide medical aid and rushed the victim to the hospital.
Lacost was charged with attempted second-degree murder and was booked into the East Baton Rouge Parish Prison.
I bet that’s the last time he wets the bed, though.
F*cker of the Week
Florida Funeral Home Worker Found Dead Amid Reports of Corpse Abuse
An employee of a funeral home in Florida has been found dead after allegedly being caught sexually abusing a corpse.
Police were alerted to the incident at Oak Lawn Funeral Home in Pensacola on Tuesday morning, Escambia County Sheriff’s Office told Newsweek. Another employee had called authorities after walking in on the suspect “actively engaging in sexual activity with a corpse.”
A spokesperson for the force said that the suspect had fled the property by the time officers arrived at the funeral home.
Later that morning, while still attempting to locate the suspect, police were alerted to a possible dead body at the intersection of North Blue Angel Parkway and Alekai Drive on the western outskirts of the city, approximately a 10-minute drive from the funeral home.
When officers attended, they found the suspect lying dead next to the vehicle with an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound, the spokesperson said. The name of the suspect has not yet been released, nor has the name of the deceased they allegedly abused.
And now that person’s corpse is sitting in a funeral house getting f*cked by some other freak.
Accident of the Week
I accidentally married my cousin — but we had a baby and we’re still together
A rising TikTok star has stunned fans by revealing that she and her husband are related by blood — and she says she only learned the dark secret while she was carrying his baby.
Marcella Hill — who has raked in almost 300,000 followers on the social media site with her health advice videos — shared the shocking story in a viral clip posted early last week.
“So I’ve never told anyone publicly that I accidentally married my cousin,” the Utah mom admitted in the footage.
Hill went on to explain that she was pregnant when she made the disturbing discovery — uncovering the truth while looking at her family tree to find an ancestor to name their baby.
“I was like, ‘Oh look, grandpa’s name, grandma’s name, great-grandma’s name, great-great-grandma’s name,’” the TikToker recalled, adding: “My husband was next to me on his own family search and was like, ‘Oh that’s funny — we have the same grandma and grandpa’s names.’”
The couple then compared their family trees and realized that Hill’s grandpa and her husband’s grandmother were actually first cousins.
“So he calls his grandma and I call my grandpa and we ask them if they know each other … Sure enough — ‘Sure!’” Hill recalled the relatives’ answers.
The confirmation meant that Hill and her hubby are third cousins — and the revelation left them reeling.
However, over time the couple has come to accept the freaky family fact and are still married to one another. Hill even claims there are benefits to being related to her spouse.
“We have won a prize for being-the-closest-related-in-a-neighborhood activity,” she joked. “And when I go to my family reunion, he gets to go to his too — at the same time.”
Their neighborhood awards an inbreeding prize?
Blamer of the Week
Drink-driver sues Budweiser over £8m damage she caused after night at beer firm’s venue
A drink-driver who smashed into a house, rupturing a gas line and causing an explosion, is suing a company for letting her get drunk. The crash happened in 2019 in the Ontario state of Canada when Daniella Leis, 26, had been drinking at at Marilyn Manson concert at a venue called Budweiser Gardens.
The crash led to a three-year jail term for Leis but now she’s taking legal action against the company behind Budweiser Gardens, Canadian broadcaster CBC reported. The incident, on August 14, 2019, saw her crash her car and the explosion happened shortly after, injuring seven people and damaging four homes, causing damage of more than £8 million.
She admitted four counts of impaired driving and is now being sued in civil suits by the people who were hurt and whose property suffered damage. But Leis is now filing a lawsuit against Ovations Ontario Food Services, claiming the company shares some of the blame and should therefore pay some of the money to the claimants in the civil suits.
According to the lawsuit, because Leis got drunk at Budweiser Gardens any damage caused was “caused or contributed to by the negligence, breach of duty, breach of contract” by the venue. The suit cites the venue’s contravention of the Occupiers’ Liability Act or Liquor Licence Act.
She argues that Ovations knew she was drunk and had failed to train its staff properly and that’s why they kept serving her.
She comes from the Joe Biden school of taking responsibility.
WTF? of the Week
Female Death Row killer dies while awaiting execution after choking on dinner
A woman on Death Row for drugging and killing two men has died while awaiting execution.
Former bar worker Miyuki Ueta, 49, choked to death in her cell on Saturday afternoon (January 14).
According to NHK, Ueta was found collapsed at around 4.30pm and was rushed to hospital but declared dead at around 7pm.
Her cause of death was ruled suffocation due to choking on her food.
Just four days prior, she had again been rushed to hospital after choking on her food. She had been given the all clear and returned to the prison.
Ueta was sentenced to death in 2012 after being found guilty of drugging, robbing and killing two men she owed money to in 2009.
Truck driver Kazumi Yabe, 47, drowned in the sea off Japan’s Tottori prefecture in April that year. Electrician Hideki Maruyama, 57, was found beaten and face down in a river in October.
Prosecutors argued that Ueta plied the men with drugs beforehand, killing them in an attempt to rid herself of debt.
She was indicted on a total of 16 counts which included theft of property worth 9.22million yen (£58,600).
After news of her death broke, the son of victim Maruyama said: “It’s been 14 years since my father died, and I’m surprised that a Death Row inmate died in this way. Since then, I think it’s been taking too long for her to be executed.”
She’s pretty good at murdering dudes, but never quite mastered the art of eating food.
