This week we learned that the J6 “rioters” were polite, stayed within the velvet ropes, and cleaned up after themselves, completely contradicting the democrats’ WTF? narrative. Here’s some other WTF? need of a new narrative:
Headline of the Week
Chinese authorities have launched an investigation into a videoed attack on a man suspected of abusing his adopted cats to death and sharing the act on social media.
The incident occurred on Feb. 25 when a group of six individuals surrounded the alleged animal abuser, only identified by his surname Lee, at a commercial plaza after being tipped off by an overseas individual.
After hurling insults at the man, the group reportedly took him to a different location, where they kicked him, made him slap himself in the face and then forced him to confess to the act. They also allegedly smeared feces on his face and forced him to ingest it.
While the group did not specify the origin of the feces, a Weibo user claimed that it was human waste.
A video of the violent act was shared and widely circulated on Chinese social media. Lee reportedly admits to killing five cats in the video.
Lee, who works at an office in Suzhou, Jiangsu province, was reportedly identified by an unnamed individual who had seen his videos, in which he allegedly abuses the adopted cats, resulting in some of the animals’ deaths.
After learning that the man was purportedly planning to adopt another kitten, the unidentified overseas individual immediately notified cat lovers across China, which led to them hunting Lee.
It’s eat shit and die, not live.
Demand of the Week
Man with crooked penis demands £60,000 after surgery slashes length by two inches
A patient has demanded nearly £60,000 in compensation after his crooked penis ended up 2.36 inches shorter after corrective surgery.
The man is claiming £59,714 in compensation from the Murcian Health Service (Servicio Murciano de Salud; SMS) in southern Spain after the operation to correct his curved penis resulted in it being shortened by six centimetres (2.36 inches), according to local media.
The man also claimed that he is now unable to maintain an erection and have sexual intercourse, saying that even getting an erection is now painful.
In his lawsuit, the man, who has not been named, reportedly claimed that he is a victim of negligent care received at the Cartagena hospital because no one warned him of the risks involved in the operation.
He also said that he went to a different hospital, the La Fe hospital in Valencia, where medics told him that the situation, which he called “a real ordeal” is irreversible.
But the Legal Council of the Region of Murcia (CJRM) has reportedly rejected his claim, saying that doctors at the Cartagena hospital had told the patient about the possibility that surgery could result in him having a shorter penis.
There was a crooked man, and he walked a crooked mile…
Peeps of the Week
Supermarket’s penis-shaped ‘Easter bunny’ marshmallows go viral
We all know that with Easter coming up, all sorts of things are going to be popping up in stores, you know, market strategy things.
However, one particular British shopper claims that a supermarket chain, called Aldi, is selling Easter Bunny marshmallow snacks that “take up the form” of something, a little too naughty.
The tweep who goes by the name of ‘’MissV’’ took to Twitter a picture of marshmallows with the caption: “Sorry Aldi, but that ain’t a Bunny,’’ and I’m sure we all can agree, that ‘bunny’ ain’t no bunny.
Maybe the marshmallows were meant to be delivered to a different store, for a different reason, if you know what I mean.
Tweeps chuckled at it and did not hold back on the jokes: ‘’Easter hunt at the local primary school gonna be interesting in the next few weeks!!!’’
Looks more like Chicks with dicks.
Pipe Fitter of the Week
ROME WOMAN FOUND WITH METH PIPE IN ANUS AFTER ATTACK
Candince Tonisha Watley, 44 of Rome, was arrested this week after reports said she hit a woman in the head and then bit her on the back during a dispute.
She is also accused of threatening additional harm to the victim the next time she saw her.
Police added that after arriving at the jail, officers found Watley with methamphetamine in his pants and a glass smoking pipe in her anus.
Watley is charged with simple battery, possession of methamphetamine, terroristic threats and acts crossing the guard line with drugs and possession of drug related objects.
When in Rome, shove a pipe up your ass.
Bottle Service of the Week
26-year-old Man in Nepal Has Vodka Bottle Surgically Removed from Stomach
After being fooled into drinking urine, a young man from Rautahat allegedly slipped an empty bottle inside the body of his companion, according to police.
The victim, Nurshad Mansuri, visited a hospital after complaining of ongoing abdomen pain, which led to the discovery of the horrifying crime. The victim’s stomach was X-rayed, and the bottle that had become lodged there was discovered.
Mansuri, who is 26 years old, reported experiencing stomach ache early on Sunday. He was admitted to the Chandrapur Hospital on Monday after finding minimal relief from painkillers at the neighborhood clinic. The doctors suspected an appendix issue.
When reports indicated that the patient had a full bottle inside of him or her, the doctors and medical personnel were taken aback.
Dr. Narayan Belbase of the hospital in Bharatpur extracted the bottle from the patient following surgery.
Belbase reported that the two-hour procedure was successful in removing the bottle. “We cannot comment on his health until we have watched him for 48 hours.”
Police have discovered, based on their initial inquiry, that Mansuri’s own companion had placed the bottle into his body through his anus.
Mansuri was drinking with his friend Mohammad Samir four days ago at the latter’s car repair shop. Samir was allegedly forced to drink urine from a bottle by Mansuri.
Samir invited Mansuri to his garage on Saturday after learning about Mansuri’s wrongdoing. Mansuri was forced to ingest an unknown drug before going asleep. After that, according to investigators, the defendant put an empty half-liter alcohol bottle through the anus.
With friends like that, he really did need enemas.
Beverage of the Week
A Louisiana CNA accused of urinating in hospice patient’s milk; arrested
On March 7, 2023, detectives of the West Monroe Police Department were called to a location in reference to a cruelty to the infirmed case. During the investigation, the complainant advised that her father is a hospice patient and that he is bedridden.
According to the victim’s daughter, her father received services from a certified nurse assistant on March 7, 2023. As the nurse assistant was bathing the victim, the victim’s daughter was observing the nurse assistant via a baby monitor. While the nurse assistant was in a room, he allegedly removed the victim’s milk container from a bedside table and turned away from the camera.
According to police, they were advised that the nurse assistant placed the milk container around his waist and placed the container back on the table a short moment later. The victim’s daughter immediately removed the container and mentioned that the nurse assistant did not tell her that he put anything in the milk before leaving the premises.
Detectives seized the milk container for evidence and went on to identify the nurse assistant as 67-year-old Donald Wayne Shaw Sr. On March 8, 2023, detectives interviewed Shaw about the incident and he allegedly admitted to urinating in the victim’s milk container.
According to detectives, Shaw advised that he urinated in the victim’s milk container due to him having to use the restroom. Shaw was arrested and transported to the Ouachita Correctional Center where he was charged with Cruelty to the Infirmed.
Dude just literally pissed away his career.
Normie of the Week
Normal woman charged with delivering meth
A 29-year-old woman is charged with delivery of meth in McLean County.
Kalyn M. Carroll, of Normal, appeared in a Friday bond court hearing before Judge Pablo Eves, who found probable cause for her arrest.
Charging documents said on Jan. 2, Carroll provided an Illinois State Police Task Force Six informant with less than 5 grams of methamphetamine. A Class 2 felony charge for meth delivery was filed for her arrest Friday.
She doesn’t seem that normal to me.
Drunk Karen of the Week
An alleged drunk driver was arrested after she stopped in the roadway to complain about a police officer’s bright lights while the officer was on a traffic stop with another drunk driver in Fox Lake.
Ryann I. Bambach, 52, of Fox Lake, was charged with two counts of aggravated driving under the influence, driving on a revoked or suspended license, operating an uninsured motor vehicle and improper stopping or parking.
Lake County Assistant State’s Attorney Kelse Banks said a police officer had conducted a traffic stop, which occurred in Fox Lake on February 26. The officer had their emergency lights activated.
Bambach was driving by the traffic stop and stopped in the middle of the road, Banks said.
Bambach rolled down her window and complained about the officer’s lights, Banks said.
Officers made contact with Bambach and noticed she exhibited signs of impairment.
Banks said the woman’s speech was slurred, she had bloodshot eyes and officers smelled an odor of alcohol coming from her.
Bambach performed field sobriety tests but failed all of them.
Officers arrested Bambach and she became belligerent, Banks said. They learned the woman has two prior driving under the influence offenses.
Bambach was also driving on a license that was revoked for the previous offenses.
You’d think she’d be better at drunk driving with all that practice.
Alien of the Week
Man arrested for walking naked down Worth Avenue told police he lived on a ‘different earth’
A man was arrested and charged after he was seen walking naked down a city street.
It happened around 9 p.m. on March 8 when an employee who works at Taboo, located in the 200 block of Worth Avenue, told police a naked white male walked past the establishment in front of numerous people.
Upon arrival, an officer located Jason Smith, 44, in the 300-block walking with no clothes on, fully exposing his genitals to the public.
Smith was taken to the Palm Beach Police Department, where he initially refused to provide his name and date of birth. He told officers he did not have a social security number or an ID card from any state.
He also said he resided on a different earth; then later said he lived in West Palm Beach.
Smith was subsequently charged with one count of indecent exposure, resisting an officer without violence and disorderly conduct.
Isn’t Hillary Clinton president of Earth 2?
Virus of the Week
China pummeled by ‘rain of worms’ as residents asked to carry umbrellas
Citizens of the Chinese province of Liaoning were told to find shelter after it looked like it started to rain worms.
A viral clip showed the area apparently being showered with little worms, which were splattered all over cars.
The video showed residents covering themselves with umbrellas as they go along with their routines and wander past.
While the cause of the slimy creature calamity has yet to be uncovered, the scientific journal Mother Nature Network suggested that the animals were dropped after being swept up by heavy winds.
The periodical also noted that this type of occurrence happens after a storm when insects are caught up in a whirlpool.
Another theory suggested that the worms were actually poplar flowers — a tulip tree whose blooms resemble the squirmy beasts.
These Chinese lab leaks are getting weird.
WTF? of the Week
‘Eating raw testicles and bull penis gives me superpowers – I feel like a warrior’
There’s some pretty extreme diets out there but one college athlete might have just topped the list.
Jack Turco, from Libertyville, Illinois eats a carnivore diet made up of raw organ meats and animal fats.
The 21-year-old’s “caveman diet” has seen him chow down on some bizarre cuts of meat, including raw testicles, hearts and livers.
But among his favourites is bull penis, which he says gives him a “masculine energy” he didn’t have before.
Jack, who is a rower at The University of Wisconsin-Madison, started the primal diet a year ago in a bid to improve his health and is now better known as the “Butter Dawg” for his high-fat eating habits.
It might sound gruesome, but he claims the meat-centred diet has made him feel “amazing”.
Jack sources his unusual meat cuts from a local butcher and was accidentally introduced to bull pizzle — which is the penis of a bull — a few months ago when he thought he was buying beef tendon.
But the penis meat has since become one of his favourites. He explained: “I started eating it and I was like ‘oh my god’ I just had some sort of masculine energy I guess that I just didn’t have before.”
He said the pizzle also comes with some other positive effects, adding: “I did a little research and apparently it’s been used in Asian cultures for libido-boosting effects and basically warriors would be eating this stuff.
“I did feel like a warrior when I was eating it, the effects were what I enjoyed about it not necessarily munching on beef pizzle”.
They say you are what you eat.
