Joe Biden’s illegitimate presidency has been a legitimate horror show so it’ll be a little hard to scare up some screams this Halloween compared to that. Here’s some pumpkin-time WTF? to help you forget the pumpkin-head in the White House:
Scary Headline of the Week
Why Halloween is ‘gay Christmas’ to many LGBTQ Americans
Growing up outside of Salem, Massachusetts, famous for its 1692 witch trials, Lee Roberts is more connected to Halloween than most. Throughout his youth, Roberts recalls frequently partaking in costume parades, working at haunted houses and getting an up-close look at the country’s most wicked city on the hair-raising holiday.
Today, Roberts continues to play out his Halloween fantasies, working as drag king under the name Sweaty Eddy. Eddy’s year-round performances include a rendition of the movie “Silence of the Lambs,” an act where he rips off his hand and reveals bare bone, and a plethora of body casting.
An extravaganza of the supernatural, all things sweet and larger-than-life costumes, many LGBTQ Americans like Roberts hail Halloween as “gay Christmas.” But the contemporary excitement around the supernatural holiday has a long history within the LGBTQ community.
The modern phrase “gay Christmas” actually stems from an earlier queer nickname for the holiday, “bitches Christmas,” according to Marc Stein, a professor of history at San Francisco State University, and author of “City of Sisterly and Brotherly Loves.”
During the 1950s and ’60s, Philadelphia’s LGBTQ community celebrated “bitches Christmas” by dressing up in drag and partying in the city’s gay bars, Stein said. Revelers by the hundreds would follow drag performers from bar-to-bar, he notes, forming some of the country’s first queer Halloween parades.
So when is gay Halloween?
Hallow Wienie of the Week
‘Small Dong March’ sees hundreds of protesters rallying against tiny penis prejudice
Hundreds of people took to the streets last weekend in an attempt to end the stigma around small penises.
The ‘Small Dong March’, which took place at Pershing Square in Los Angeles on Saturday (October 23), saw both men and women waving colourful placards emblazoned with messages of support for those with smaller members.
“End small dong shame!” is what the protesters chanted repeatedly.
The event was organised by YouTube stars Chad and JT, who host the Chad and JT Go Deep podcast which was 175,000 subscribers.
The issue of small penis prejudice has actually become a passion project for them, and recently they hosted a ‘Small Dong art show’.
The most eye-catching aspect of the march was the hilarious messages held up by both allies and self-proclaimed owners of small dongs.
Two men, dressed up as hot dogs, were pictured holding signs that read “all dongs are equal” and “Jesus had a small dong”.
Another man, donning a massive penis costume, held an “all dongs go to heaven” placard.
CNN reports it was a fiery bust mostly flaccid protest.
Sack O’ Lantern of the Week
Man creates ‘testicle’ pumpkins with fake pubic hair just in time for Halloween
As the spookiest weekend of the year approaches, strangeness is in the air.
And with this comes some very odd Halloween inspired items and outfits, like testicle pumpkins.
No, we didn’t stutter, these objects are very much real.
Will Eades, 36, is the creator of BillyBallBags and has designed a unique gag gift ahead of Halloween.
The gifts in question are pumpkins that resemble testicles and come complete with realistic finishes – including pubic hair.
From Poulton-le-Fylde in Lancashire, Will has named the item ‘The Hairy Ballbag Pumpkin’.
‘People are either loving it or completely grossed out,’ Will said. ‘My products are always popular around Halloween with people dressing up, so I decided to make the Hairy Ballbag Pumpkin and show how I did it.
‘The business gets a lot of love from like-minded people – this sense of humour is appreciated worldwide, it would seem.’
I would have called them “Pump Nuts.”
Slasher of the Week
AN electrician castrated eight men at their own request as part of a bizarre sado-masochistic fetish, a court has heard.
The 66-year-old man is on trial in Germany accused of murdering one of the men, who died during the procedure, and mutilating several others.
The defendant, known as Horst B under the country’s strict privacy laws for the accused in criminal cases, said he offered sexual services on sado-masochistic websites.
Munich Regional Court heard he needed to earn money to pay off debts following the death of his third wife.
Horst B was told by a work colleague that some men paid a lot for sadomasochistic practices and initially offered electric shocks.
But he then expanded his services by performing operations on his kitchen table in the town of Markt Schwaben.
Investigators believed he cut off the testicles of eight men with a scalpel, beginning in July 2018 and ending in March 2020.
Each victim paid between £200 and £1100 and prosecutors allege the defendant was able to convince his victims he was a trained medical professional.
In fact he had no medical experience and his ‘operations’ were crude and amateurish, leaving his victims in agony and in need of medical intervention, the court heard.
Horst B’s final victim died after the procedure went wrong and did not stop at the man’s testicles but also partially severed his penis as well.
He failed to seek medical help as he feared losing his additional source of income, prosecutors allege.
After the man died, he put his body in a cardboard box, the court heard.
The corpse was found three weeks later when police conducted a search of his apartment.
This guy is the Freddy Kruger of gonads.
Curse of the Week
Witch shares how to hex your ex’s genitalia – and all you need is a cucumber
A witch has taken to the internet to show how anyone can easily take out revenge on someone who has hurt them.
Posting to her TikTok account @thecrystalpatch, Kalei has revealed how people can hex their ex’s genitalia or the private parts of anyone who has abused them.
The 22-year-old has uploaded a variety of videos that go into detail on the best spells to cast to seek vengeance.
“Do you want to learn how to hex your abusers weeny? Let me show ya,” she said in one clip.
For hexing men, Kalei recommends grabbing a cucumber and cutting a slit down its side. Next, you want to write down their full name and date of birth on a piece of paper and fold the paper away from you. Then, put it inside the slit you’ve just cut.
“Next we’re going to add some chilli flakes to make sure his you know burns. Now take a screw, nails, glass, anything sharp and just start sticking it in there. Give that sh*t your energy,” she said.
“Now take some string and just wrap this baby up.
“While you’re wrapping the string, make sure you’re doing this with the intention of binding this to this person. Now you’re wanting to give it all of your nasty energy, all of the nasty feelings you have towards that person.
“When you are done, bury it off of your property.”
How does the inside of a cucumber read a person’s name?
Stench of Death of the Week
Woman suffering from vaginal smell finds out why after docs called her hypochondriac
A woman has slammed unhelpful healthcare professionals after suffering from an itchy and smelly vagina and being refused treatment.
Danielle Stokes says doctors called her a “hypochondriac” and refused to treat her symptoms after she claimed the problem happened every time she had sex.
Eventually, as she explains in a video she shared on TikTok, she found out the answer was bacterial vaginosis (BV), and although it’s not an STD, you can get it after having sex.
This is because sex can change the pH balance of the vagina, which then makes it vulnerable to “unfriendly” bacteria.
Danielle says in her video: “I tried to explain to my doctors that I was getting it from sex. They told me it was impossible.
Or there’s a body buried down there.
House of Horror of the Week
Berkeley resident’s climate disaster Halloween decorations are ‘scarier than any ghost’
Ghosts, goblins and … global warming?
For South Berkeley resident Julie Twichell, Halloween might be a time for creepy creatures and costumes, it’s also the perfect time to educate trick-or-treaters about the scariest topic of all: climate disasters. To that end, she has dedicated half the yard in front of her Craftsman bungalow at 3204 Tremont St. to a display depicting an oil spill.
The homemade scene includes a 3-foot cardboard oil tanker and a river of black oil created by rolls of plastic, which cover up the blue plastic waters. The black “oil” turns into a painted surface that runs off the display and across the sidewalk. Black metal ducks and two crows represent oil-covered wildlife. Behind it all are the flames of wildfires, climbing along the home’s façade. Nearby, posters hang or are inserted into the ground, including a homemade one demanding to “Stop Adding Fuel to CA Wildfires! $ Big Oil has always known fossil fuels harm the climate.”
“One of the scariest things happening today is climate disasters. We need to act much quicker than we had imagined,” said Twichell, 66, a retiree who spent a quarter of a century educating the public about lead poisoning for Alameda County. She sees her display as a continuation of her role as educator.
All that plastic is made from oil, you stupid hippy.
Things That Should Not Be of the Week
Mutant two-headed calf born with pig-like body and double tongue baffles Russian farmer
Mutant one-eyed cyclops lamb freaks out the internet – and it’s happened to humans
Rep. Adam Schiff seems pretty happy to be sharing a selfie with Paris Hilton
That last one is going to haunt my nightmares forever.
Corpse Grinder of the Week
Influencer slammed after taking ‘disrespectful’ sexy snap in front of dad’s open casket
An influencer has been slammed online after taking a sexy selfie in front of her dad’s open casket.
The insensitive snap was uploaded to Instagram where her followers begged her to take it down.
In the picture, the woman can be seen in long black heels and a tight strapless dress as she poses with one leg in the air at her dad’s funeral.
From behind her figure, you can just about make out her dad’s clasped hands, but luckily she blocks his face from sight.
The picture soon found its way onto Reddit where users shared their outrage.
One simply wrote: “Holy crap, is this so incredibly disrespectful.”
Some users were particularly offended as they had recently lost loved ones.
“My dad just passed a few weeks ago,” explained one person.
“I could barely brush my hair for the services – let alone put in a full face of makeup, hair, and outfit for Instagram.
“Makes me sad for her, her dad, and her family.”
Another agreed, adding: “I was the same way when my dad died.”
At least she didn’t share the shot of her sitting shiva on his face.
Black Widow of the Week
‘Blood-drinking’ widow who ‘had sex with hubby’s corpse’ is released from prison
A woman accused of murdering her husband, ‘drinking his blood’ and ‘having sex with his corpse’ has been released from prison in Russia despite being the prime suspect in his death.
Marina Kokhal, 37, was accused of killing and dismembering rapper Andy Cartwright, 30, after discovering his adulterous affair.
Russian prosecutors, who claim she has committed the “perfect murder”, strongly objected to Kokhal being placed under house arrest.
She has been held since August last year, but Russia’s best forensic scientists admit they have failed to prove that she fatally poisoned the rapper in collusion with her mother Elena Kokhal, 68.
She will now be reunited with her and Cartwright’s son, now aged four, who she has not seen for more than a year while in detention.
Investigators claim that Kokhal administered her husband, whose real name is Alexander Yushko, with a lethal dose of a hard-to-trace insulin substitute drug.
At the time of his death the rapper was having an affair with glamorous fan Nadia Romanenko, 25.
Although she strenuously denied murder, Kokhal admitted to dismembering the corpse with a knife and hacksaw, claiming that she didn’t want his fans knowing he had died from an “inglorious” drug overdose.
Investigators allege that evidence suggests “the murder was planned by the accused”, but admit to lacking proof she actually carried it out.
They said that body parts were located in her fridge, others in bin liners intended for disposal, while his fingertips were fed to rats in the garden outside.
Forensic experts said during her trial that they were unable to analyse his stomach, pancreas, oesophagus, gall and urinary bladders, intestines, adrenal glands, and prostate gland, as they were either missing or had been put through a washing machine.
Investigators initially suspected she injected the drug into his hand before stabbing him in the stomach, but are now working on the theory that she suffocated him.
They also accused her of “drinking her dead husband’s blood and having sex with his corpse”, although her lawyer has called these claims “disgusting” and said they amount to illegal coercion.
There’s so much more glory in being hacked to pieces and fed to rats.
Costumes of the Week
White students have dressed as what appeared to be ‘terrorists’ in Islamic clothing with water guns during Year 12 muck-up day celebrations.
Six students from Gilroy Catholic College in Castle Hill, Sydney, wore the outfits to an end of year picnic for soon-to-be high school graduates on Wednesday.
Photos from the last day showed the male students dressed in a kaffiyeh – a traditional Arabic headdress – white shirts and pants and sandals.
They held water guns pointed towards other students dressed in banana suits as the two groups posed for a group photo.
The student who supplied the image to Seven News described the young men as ‘portraying terrorists’.
‘As a graduation celebration, a group of primarily Caucasian students dressed up as stereotyped Arabic men, complete with toy guns to portray “terrorists”,’ he said.
‘This is highly offensive to Middle Eastern individuals, communities, and culture.’
He added ‘blatant Islamaphobia’ was still rife among schools, saying the muck-up incident was harmful to Islamic and Middle Eastern communities.
Principal Cheryl Merryweather maintained the event did not represent the college’s values claiming ‘a small group of students’ showed ‘very poor judgement’.
And yet no one is offended by the blatant bananaphobia displayed by the other students in the picture.
Decorations of the Week
New Jersey home’s Halloween display ripped over ‘ghost’ resembling KKK member
A New Jersey home adorned with multiple Confederate flags has a haunting new addition to its facade this Halloween — a ghost that neighbors say looks like a Ku Klux Klan member.
The ghoul, made from a white sheet, features a suspiciously pointed head.
“If it was just a ghost, it’d be fine,” local resident Doreen Koptyra told WNBC of the display at the home on Toms River Road in Jackson.
“But now that you have the flag up, that’s not acceptable.”
“That does look like Ku Klux Klan,” New Jersey native Al Bazel told the station.
“That’s not right. If they were going to do Halloween, I guess it’d be different … They gotta get on board with today, they can’t live in the past.”
The homeowner angrily declined to talk on camera but claimed he’s put up the display for years.
“No!” the man said when asked to talk. “Get the f–k out!”
The homeowner then moved his SUV in an attempt to block the display from a camera crew across the street. He also put up his middle finger while moving his vehicle, video shows.
It was the democratic party who was outraged for this disrespectful display of their heritage.
UFO WTF? of the Week
Demi Lovato says the term ‘aliens’ is ‘derogatory’ toward extraterrestrials
Demi Lovato has a new idea about extraterrestrials.
The 29-year-old singer has recently expanded into the docuseries territory with not only the tell-all “Dancing with the Devil” doc, but also with Peacock’s “Unidentified with Demi Lovato.”
The four-part series follows Lovato’s exploration of what may live beyond Earth as well as their attempt to make contact with alien life.
In a recent interview with Pedestrian.TV, the singer said that there are a few things about how people see extraterrestrials that they’d like to change, including the terminology.
“I think that we have to stop calling them aliens because aliens is a derogatory term for anything,” they said. “That’s why I like to call them ETs.”
Furthermore, Lovato said that they’re particularly irked by misconceptions that extraterrestrials are “harmful or that they’ll come and take over the planet.”
But then “Extraterrestrials” will become derogatory and they’ll have to call them “intergalactic migrants escaping celestial violence.”
