This week’s biggest WTF? saw the Biden administration condemn Russia for jailing a political opposition leader at the same time they dished out more BS indictments against Donald Trump. Here’s some more WTF? in desperate need of a mirror:
Headline of the Week
Transgender woman sues to get testicles back from ex
A transgender woman from Pontiac has filed a court claim demanding her testicles back, insisting her ex-boyfriend is keeping them in a jar in his refrigerator and refusing to return them.
In a handwritten affidavit and claim, Brianna Kingsley, 40, wrote: “Defendant retains possession of my surgically extracted testicles, preserved in (a) Mason jar, kept in (the) fridge next to the eggs. Demand immediate return of my human remains specimen and damages of $6,500.”
William Wojciechowski, 37, of Pontiac asserts that his ex “picked up all her possessions when we broke up. She took everything she wanted then.”
Wojciechowski claims Kingsley has been harassing him since their breakup eight months ago. He said he plans to use the two-page small claims affidavit that was filed in Pontiac’s 50th District Court Thursday as evidence of more intimidation.
“I’ll be telling my lawyer about this because it’s getting ridiculous,” said Wojciechowski, who said he was unaware of the court filing until contacted by The Detroit News.
When asked whether he planned to fight to keep his ex’s body parts, Wojciechowski said: “I don’t owe her anything.”
“She’s been harassing me ever since we broke up,” he said. “I had to take out a PPO against her.”
Wojciechowski provided The News with a copy of the personal protection order against Kingsley that was signed by Oakland County Circuit Court Judge Lisa Gorcyca on Dec. 13, 2022. In the order that remains in effect until a year after its issuance date, Wojciechowski claimed Kingsley threatened to harm him and interfered with him at his workplace.
The order precludes Kingsley from purchasing a firearm and orders her to avoid personal contact and “no third party contact or social media contact.”
Tranny looses nuts but is still nuts.
Dick of the Week
Frustrated Lufthansa pilot draws penis in the sky after flight was forced to divert
A Lufthansa pilot allegedly upset over being forced to divert his flight from Catania flew the commercial plane in a penis-shaped pattern before landing in Malta.
Flight 306 took off from Frankfurt, Germany, on Friday and was bound for the Sicilian city until the plane was warned mid-flight that it could not land at the Fontanarossa airport, which was seeing reduced operations following a terminal fire in July, La Repubblica reported.
The Lufthansa pilot, who has not been identified, allegedly grew irritated about having to stall the plane before being told the flight would need to fly south and land on the island of Malta.
Before leaving Catania’s airspace, the plane was spotted heading eastward toward the Sicilian coast and flying in such a way that the flight path created the shape of male genitalia, according to images recorded by air traffic website Flight Radar. The pattern took about 16 minutes to complete.
The plane then headed back to Sicily and traveled south to its new destination.
Lufthansa officials told La Repubblica that the phallic pattern was created by coincidence when the pilot had to circle over Catania before being instructed to divert the flight.
There are no coincidences in politics or penises.
Stud of the Week
Quincy man with ‘genitals exposed’ near horses arrested again
A man who was previously arrested in April on charges of sexual contact with an animal was arrested again early Sunday morning for trespassing after deputies found him near horses with his genitals exposed, according to the Adams County Sheriff’s Office.
Around 1 a.m., Adams County Sheriff deputies were dispatched to 5505 North Bottom Road in Quincy regarding a suspicious person who had been captured on surveillance cameras near a horse barn.
Deputies canvased the pasture and located Jack R. Blanke, 39, standing near two horses with his genitals exposed, according to the Adams County Sheriff’s Office.
Blanke was subsequently taken into custody for criminal trespass to real property. Blanke was taken to the Adams County Jail on a $100 bond.
Again, probably not a coincidence.
Sick Burn of the Week
A medicine mix-up saw a doctor mistakenly inject flesh-burning acid into a woman’s vagina, leaving her with excruciating burns and disfigured genitals.
Christine, 33, a preschool teacher from Philadelphia, was undergoing a routine procedure on December 19, 2022, to check her fallopian tubes for blockages.
The treatment involves saline solution injected into the womb through the vagina, but Allison Bloom, a doctor at Main Line Fertility Clinic in Pennsylvania, injected her with flesh-burning acid instead after the ultrasound technician mixed up the fluids.
Now Christine and her husband’s dream of conceiving a baby hangs in the balance.
Within seconds of the injection into her vagina, Christine felt searing pain and a burning sensation.
Christine told The Philadelphia Inquirer she kept saying to Dr Bloom, ‘Something is off. Something is wrong. Is it supposed to burn?’
The procedure, known as a saline infusion sonogram, only takes 15 minutes and was so routine she told her husband not to come.
But Dr Bloom ignored Christine’s complaints and told her: ‘No, it’s just saline.’
While Christine writhed in pain, Dr Bloom looked at the ultrasound monitor to see if the fluid flowed through Christine’s right fallopian tube.
Angry red welts started to appear on Christine’s inner thighs and legs after Dr Bloom finished the procedure and left the room.
Christine said it was the ‘worst thing I have ever experienced.’
The ultrasound technician rechecked the solution bottle and realized they had somehow put Trichloroacetic acid, at an 85 percent concentration, into the syringe instead of saline.
Saline and acid are both colorless liquids and would have been indistinguishable to the eye once in a syringe.
The agonizing pain in Christine’s abdomen and lower torso was later diagnosed as first- and second-degree internal and external chemical burns.
She has been left with a vagina disfigured by scar tissue resembling ‘leather’.
Maybe they should put some labels on those bottles.
Skid Marks of the Week
Truck leaking human feces causes multi-vehicle crash on Connecticut highway
Human waste leaking from a semi-trailer led to disgustingly slippery conditions on a Connecticut highway, where as many as 10 vehicles crashed Monday night.
Two state police cruisers were among the vehicles involved after the feces began seeping onto the northbound lanes of Interstate 95 in Bridgeport around 11 p.m., authorities said.
The vehicles spun out of control and a second commercial truck skidded into a parked cop cruiser that then hit a second parked police car, they added.
Both cruisers were empty at the time as the officers were assisting motorists involved in the wrecks.
A motorcyclist suffered minor injuries after hitting the feces-covered pavement and losing control, while other vehicles rammed into each other or concrete barriers, police said.
The truck leaking the disgusting remnants kept driving and exited the highway before eventually stopping once authorities contacted H.I. Stone & Son, the company name seen on the truck.
The business called its driver and told him to pull over and wait for police, authorities said.
The driver was arrested because state police believe he knew there was a leak even as he kept driving.
The semi-trailer driver was identified by officials as Waterbury resident Shaky Steevenson Joseph, 34.
He faces 12 counts of first-degree reckless endangerment, one count of reckless driving and one count of operating a vehicle without a proper load cover.
The stretch of interstate where the crashes happened was closed for three hours, police said.
Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg is monitoring the Hershey Highway situation.
Scare of the Week
Middletown man on 4-day meth high set fire to car to ‘scare’ a ‘tiny man,’ police say
A police report reveals that a Middletown man was reportedly on a four-day meth high when he set fire to his car in order to “scare” a “tiny man” he believed was in the vehicle.
Shea Erlandson, 32, faces one count of arson after the fire spread to a barn/garage and completely engulfed the structure in flames. He is also charged with disarming a law enforcement officer, possession of methamphetamine and unlawful possession of a syringe.
According to Henry County Sheriff’s Department reports, deputies were called out to the home on Raider Road shortly before 6 a.m. on Tuesday on report of a vehicle fire. Deputies arrived on scene and noted that the barn/garage was fully engulfed in flames.
Erlandson was found inside the nearby residence. He reportedly blurted out to officers, “I didn’t mean to catch the barn on fire. I was trying to get the tiny man out of my car by scaring him with fire.”
Deputies learned that Middletown police officer had previously been to the Raider Road home where Erlandson stayed with family members in the days prior to the fire. Family members said Erlandson had been “acting crazy” the past two days and claiming there were “people in his car and in the backyard.”
Deputies were told by family members that Erlandson was on a four-day meth high at the time of his arrest. He reportedly hadn’t slept either during that timeframe.
According to police reports, Erlandson admitted to starting the fire by putting a small amount of gas in the car. He said he lit the fire in order “to make a boom” in his attempt to scare away the “tiny man.”
A later search of the property uncovered a decoy soda can that deputies found meth within.
While being transferred from the hospital to Henry County Jail, Erlandson is accused of attempting to take a deputy’s patrol rifle from his vehicle’s rifle rack. Erlandson reportedly had his hands around the barrel of the rifle before the deputy was able to pull him from the vehicle.
No word on whether the tiny man was scared away or not.
Flag Bearer of the Week
Oklahoma man drives flagpole through victim’s head inside Sonic: ‘That’s what he gets’
An Oklahoma man is lucky to be alive after a convict drove a flagpole — with an American flag attached — through his skull at a fast food restaurant Wednesday, police said.
Clinton Collins allegedly attacked the unidentified victim around 7:30 p.m. at a Sonic in the Tulsa Hills neighborhood in front of multiple witnesses, Tulsa police said.
“That’s what he gets. He deserved it,” Collins allegedly said as he stabbed the man with the makeshift weapon.
According to cops, the pole entered the victim’s head beneath his jaw and exited the other side of his cranium near his right temple.
Collins was immediately taken into custody and charged with maiming, according to cops.
“Like you’d see in a TV show or a horror movie, ran at him and stabbed him through the head,” Officer Danny Bean told 2 News.
“Went through the bottom and out through the other side.”
The American flag was still attached to the pole at the time, the department said in a statement.
Tulsa firefighters had to cut part of the flagpole so the victim could fit inside the ambulance.
Miraculously, he will likely only lose an eye, police said.
Maiming is a felony crime in Oklahoma that carries a punishment of up to life in prison.
This is the democrats’ definition of patriotism.
Mug of the Week
Dothan woman arrested for having sex with dog, possessing child porn
A Dothan woman is facing several sex crimes, including possessing child pornography and bestiality, after police say they found videos of her having sex with a dog.
On August 3, Dothan Police arrested 35-year-old Allenia Crittenden. They charged her with one count of possession of Child Pornography, three counts of Bestiality, and one count of Filing a False Police Report.
According to Dothan Police, an investigation into Crittenden began with officers receiving a tip sent to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Alabama Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force.
Police say that the DPDs Special Investigation Unit discovered digital evidence that Crittenden had a video file containing child sexual assault material and videos of her having sex with her dog. Additional electronic and recording devices were seized from the residence to be analyzed.
The dog depicted in the videos was found in good health in her home and will stay in the custody of Dothan Animal Services until legal proceedings are filed, according to DPD.
How come dog f*ckers never smile in their mug shots?
Da Fuq of the Week
74-year-old female teacher faces 600 years behind bars for sex assault on teen
A 74-year-old female former private school teacher in Monroe County, Wisconsin, has been convicted and faces hundreds of years in prison after being charged with sexually abusing a 14-year-old male student.
Anne N. Nelson-Koch, 74, was convicted on all 25 counts Monday stemming from repeated sexual assaults on one of her 14-year-old male students, Wisconsin State Journal reported.
Nelson-Koch, a teacher at a private school in Tomah, Wisconsin, is said to have assaulted the teenage boy in the basement of the school several times during the 2016-2017 school year.
Nelson-Koch was 67 at the time and the boy was 14.
The jury deliberated just five hours following a three-day trial to return with a guilty verdict.
“The victim of these crimes is an incredibly brave young man,” Assistant District Attorney Sarah M. Skiles said about the victim.
“He spoke the truth, and the jury heard him loud and clear. We are so grateful to the jury for their dedication to finding the truth.”
Nelson-Koch faces up to 600 years in prison, according to Monroe County District Attorney Kevin Croninger.
Remember Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” video? This is the complete opposite of that.
WTF? of the Week
Killer Joe Rankin jailed for life for murdering vulnerable woman and having sex with her corpse
A man has been jailed for a life for killing a vulnerable woman before having sex with her body.
Joe Rankin murdered 40-year-old Emma Potter at her home in Stroud, Gloucestershire, where her body lay undiscovered for six weeks.
Following his arrest, 34-year-old Rankin admitted to a psychiatrist that he had gone to the flat on 20 September last year to kill Emma, and that he had sex with her body after her death.
Christopher Quinlan KC, prosecuting, told the court that after Emma had been repeatedly stabbed by Rankin, her body lay undiscovered in her flat before she was found by police on 4 November.
Six days later, Rankin admitted the killing to his friend, Joshua Tucker-Bradshaw, who informed the police of the confession.
Officers were then able to place Rankin, of Stroud, at the scene on the night of Emma’s death through his mobile phone. CCTV also showed Rankin return to Emma’s flat eight days later, on 28 September.
Police have never been able to ascertain the reason for this, but believe he may have been trying to eliminate evidence.
Maybe he was going back for sloppy seconds.
