In a thing that absolutely nobody asked for, Chelsea Clinton says she is thinking a lot about running for political office. The daughter of loser Hillary and pervert Bill (maybe) is still a Clinton so she framed this in ambiguity in case she ever has to testify under oath about it. While she says she thinks about running for office all the time she says she has no plans to run. Why can’t these people ever give a straight answer to anything? Oh yeah, I just said it: they end up under oath a lot and don’t want to say anything that could be held against them in a criminal investigation.
In an Interview with the generically named The Journal News (like the Newsly Times from The Simpsons?) and vaguely described her political ambitions. When asked why she hasn’t run for office yet, this was her response:
“I don’t have any plans to run for office, but it is something I think about as I hope every young person thinks about it. If you care about what’s happening in the world, you have to care about running for and holding elected office. I hope it’s a question that we ask ourselves,” said Chelsea.
It’s like she has no idea how to be an actual person, isn’t it? Almost no one ever thinks about running for office, especially young people. However, people who do think about this, as Chelsea is apparently obsessed with, do plan on running for office. Thinking about something is a basic stage of planning, which Chelsea would know if she were normal or even human.
While saying she isn’t planning to run for office, she actually revealed her plan for getting elected:
“I think if someone were to step down or retire and I thought I could do a good job and it matched my talents, I’d have to think if it’s the right choice for me,” Chelsea said.
So her plan is to wait for an opening in a district that she could win without any opposition, kind of like how her mom became a US Senator in New York, despite not being from the state. See, Chelsea, that’s a plan and when you have a plan, you are planning on something. Not only are Clintons bad with the truth, they suck with words.
And speaking of sucking, Chelsea was asked if her mom was planning another failed presidential run in 2020:
“I support my mom in whatever she wants to do, but she’s never once mentioned that (a presidential run) to me,” said Chelsea.
In Clinton-speak that means absolutely 100% Hilary is planning on running and losing again.
My actual favorite part about this interview is this exchange:
“For now, I am really focused on trying to make the change I want to see in the world through my work in the foundation, my writing and my teaching,” said Chelsea.
The interviewer asked Chelsea what kind of “change” she is making and this was her real answer:
“I’ve always recycled and used smart light bulbs and tried to take short showers,” said Chelsea. “I love seeing how proud my kids, even Aidan, who is only 2, are when he carries cardboard boxes to the recycling bin.”
Wow, she really is saving the entire planet through her work and teachings, isn’t she? How in the hell has she never won a Nobel Prize for her selfless efforts? In reality, this gives Chelsea a leg up on her mom. When Hillary Clinton is asked to name her achievements she draws a blank, but Chelsea’s list of accomplishments are that she recycles cardboard and isn’t very hygienic.
