Intelligence, self-determination, and freewill should be the things that empower women, but the reality is being a dumb spineless sheep is what defines female empowerment these days. The latest movement to stick it to the patriarchy is hairy women. We’re talking armpits, legs, and a bikini line that looks like they have Fidel Castro in a scissor-lock. Making this thing as idiotic as possible some people think it’s racist for women to grow out their body hair to spite men. I’m still a little confused on what the term “intersectionality” means, but I think this is it.
People magazine reports:
You’ve heard about Movember, but what about ‘Januhairy‘?
Why, no. I’ve never heard of either of these ridiculous things. Please enlighten me.
Similar to the social movement in November, which encourages men to grow mustaches to raise awareness of men’s health issues, such as prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and men’s suicide, Januhairy is a new annual event targeted to women.
Januhairy encourages women to embrace their body hair by growing it out throughout the month. This new craze was started by Laura Jackson, a drama student at the University of Exeter in the U.K. after she noticed a difference in how she felt when she grew out her body hair for a role.
And here is that hairy girl now:
There’s even a crowdfuding site because…why not?
Unfortunately, all is not well with the hairy armpit movement. Over at Jezebel, they see nothing but racism in this feminist craze:
We live in a stupid world where a bunch of men decided that women are more fuckable when their bodies more closely resemble naked mole rats, so yes, choosing not to participate in that and learning to love your bod as it is is a wonderful, good, important thing. I support Januhairy’s intentions, and if it encourages more women to embrace their body hair, that’s lovely. But let’s please keep it in perspective: a white woman discovering and promoting the wonders of not shaving her pits, in the dead cold of winter, when we shave the least anyway, is not a particularly brave stance.
Pretty white women are often celebrated for their bushy eyebrows or for their courageousness in growing long, silky strands from their pits, but it’s black and brown women and trans people we should be honoring and highlighting; they are routinely mocked, harassed, and threatened for refusing to conform to Euro-centric, Western standards of beauty. While white women are liberating their pits, brown people, who have darker, and oftentimes coarser, thicker hair (in more places), are contending with colonialist expectations of what their bodies, and hair, are supposed to look like.
Racist and colonialist? That’s like double-bad or something. I would like to point out that Asian women are relatively hairless, so this Jezebel writer is clearly excluding some women of color, which would be racist if I did it.
The Jezebel complaint gets even funnier, because the writer included this photo of a transgender Indian he/she to show how wrong it is for white women to grow their hair out:
View this post on Instagram
If any part of your argument involves that picture, you’ve lost the argument.
And a quote from a Muslim gender-bender:
“White women not removing body hair is quite laughable to me. White women don’t have the history, or the baggage of growing up with visible body hair, so their announcement of it, or political positionality of it, seems insincere. Many brown folks, including me, were bullied growing up for being too hairy. When there’s no history of subjugation or even cultural abuse, it seems premature to align yourself with something that essentially has no consequence for you, irrespective of how vocal you are with it,” said Fariha Roisin.
Wow, this really puts man-hating white women in a bind. They can grow out their body hair to knock the patriarchy down a peg, but they risk being racist transphobic colonialists. What a crazy feminist to do? While it is important for them to be as repulsive as possible, they also have a need to be completely full of shit.
Amazingly enough, I do think that body hair is an important form of protest so I’m starting “Nosevember” where you grow out your nose hair to protest global warming. For some stupid reason we should celebrate Nosevember in May.
