I’ve always thought Andy Warhol’s “Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes” quote was stupid because almost everyone who was ever born lived anonymously and died in obscurity. Perhaps a more accurate statement would be “Everyone and everything will be racist for 15 minutes.” The thing that is getting its 15 minutes of racism is chocolate ducks. Yeah, ducks made out of chocolate are sparking outrage over just how damn racist they are.
Sky News reports that UK grocery store Waitrose recently faced backlash for this product they were carrying:
As you can see it’s a package of 3 chocolate ducks. The Milk chocolate duck is labeled “crispy,” the white chocolate duck is labeled “fluffy,” and the dark chocolate one is called “ugly.” I’m sure you’ve already figured out the problem.
One shopper, who posted a photo of the item online, said she overheard fellow customers saying “this is not right”, adding: “I agree, doesn’t look good at all. Thousands of other options…why ugly?”
That’s an easy one. It’s in reference to the Hans Christian Andersen fairytale The Ugly Duckling. You see, there was a duck who wasn’t all that attractive and then for some reason it turned into a completely different species of bird when it became a beautiful swan. That’s hardly racist but, you know, this duck is dark chocolate.
Also, really? This is what British people get outraged over? Why doesn’t anyone have a problem with the white chocolate duck being called fluffy? Isn’t that racist against white people? Actually, that particular duck is yellow, so clearly it’s an attempt to fat-shame Asians. Plus, calling the the milk chocolate duck “crispy” implies that light-skinned blacks and Hispanics smoke a lot of weed, which is a racial stereotype they actually don’t mind.
I can’t help but to notice the dark chocolate duck marked “ugly” has spots all over it like it has the measles or something. It’s possible that this is really a shot at anti-vexers, which is probably still a hate crime in the UK. You can’t be critical of any group of people in England, which is another reason why I’m happy our Founding Fathers kicked their asses and established the USA where we are free to laugh at stupid people and be grossed out by fatties in thongs.
Because there is no reason for this story to stop being dumb, the grocery store apologized for their “racist” ducks:
Waitrose has apologised for selling a dark chocolate Easter duckling that was labelled as “ugly” after suggestions it was racist.
The supermarket chain said it did not intend to “cause any offence” and it had replaced the £8 product with new labelling that removes the names.
“We are very sorry for any upset caused by the name of this product, it was absolutely not our intention to cause any offence. We removed the product from sale several weeks ago while we changed the labelling and our ducklings are now back on sale,” said a Waitrose spokesman.
The correct answer would have been for the grocery store to say, “It’s a bloody chocolate duck, you cunts” but they obviously went a different route.
By the way £8 is $10.44 in US currency. This store was selling 3 chocolate ducks for almost $10.50? Now that really is offensive. Hey, I guess when a country goes socialist people have to pay more to spread that wealth around.
This chocolate duck controversy comes on the heels of another food-related bit of racism in New Zealand:
Burger King pulled a promotional video in New Zealand showing customers trying to eat burgers with chopsticks after it sparked an outcry in China and demands for an apology from the U.S. fast food chain.
The video posted on a franchisee’s Instagram account showed Westerners with an oversized chopstick in each hand struggling to eat the company’s new “Vietnamese Sweet Chilli Tendercrisp Burger.”
“The ad in question is insensitive and does not reflect our brand values regarding diversity and inclusion,” Burger King said in a statement.
White people trying to eat Asian food with chopsticks? Now that is outrageous. Is it also racist when Asians try to eat Western food with a fork? Probably not.
Here in the US, milk, taco bowls, bananas, fried chicken, and fast food have been accused of racism at one point or another. Clearly all foods will eventually be considered racist for at least 15 minutes. Hopefully dumb people will quote me on this as much as they do Andy Warhol’s bogus 15 minutes of fame nonsense.
