You’d think that sneaking into America would make illegal immigrants expert navigators, but apparently not. An illegal immigrant was arrested at the FBI headquarters in West Virginia after he mistook the entry gate for a tollbooth. This is the least horrible thing I’ve ever heard about from an illegal immigrant and yet for some reason it still doesn’t make me want this country flooded with these losers. Murderers and rapists don’t make our country better and neither do dumbasses.
WNCT reports that security officers at the FBI facility in Clarksburg, WV got quite the surprise earlier this week. 49-year-old Catarino Feregrinino drove up to the gatehouse in his green Toyota Tacoma and tried to give the guard money. Naturally this was confusing to the guard and after a little back and forth he understood that Feregrinino was under the impression that the gatehouse was a toll booth.
Spanish uses the same alphabet as English, so presumably Feregrinino could understand the letters “FBI” posted at the gate, but he may think they mean something else. The guard at the gate tried to let Feregrinino know that the gatehouse was not a toll booth but he could grasp the concept. Instead, he argued with the guard and demanded to know how much it would cost to pass.
The guard asked Feregrinino to pull his car over and produce a driver’s license. The illegal immigrant handed over a Texas ID and officers informed him that it wasn’t a valid driver’s license. Feregrinino then admitted that he didn’t have a driver’s license so officers removed him from the vehicle and searched it. They found another Texas ID as well as a Social Security card belonging to “Mark Mike” which is a totally believable name.
Officers ran the “Mark Mike” name and surprising found out that it was a false identity. Who would have guessed?
At that point Feregrinino, who had been communicating in broken English, suddenly didn’t understand English. There’s an old cop joke that goes: Q) How are Mexicans like cue balls? A) The harder you hit them the more English they pick up. This is a different time so officers brought in an interpreter.
Feregrinino admitted to the interpreter that he was in the country illegally and that he had snuck across the border about 5 years ago. Again, how did he manage to find his away across an invisible line in the middle of the desert, but he couldn’t differentiate FBI headquarters from a tollbooth?
The illegal immigrant also told the interpreter that he had purchased the “Mike Mark” fake ID and SS card for “employment purposes.” Obviously wherever he was working didn’t bother to run even a cursory background check on this guy or they would have discovered he wasn’t who he was claiming to be. Actually, if a Mexican guy who barely speaks English tries to present himself as “Mike Mark” that should set off some red flags but whatever.
Feregrinino was arrested and charged with not having a license, fraudulent license and obstructing an officer. It’s unclear if ICE has been made aware of this profoundly stupid illegal immigrant or even if what he did is a deportable offense. I hope it is because letting this guy stay here brings down our national IQ by a lot.
Meanwhile, assimilation is something these illegal immigrants may want to look into. If for nothing else it would stop them from mistaking FBI facilities with tollbooths.
