Yesterday CNN crybaby Jim Acosta challenged Fox News hosts Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson to a fight. This was clearly a sad attempt to promote his book that nobody cares about and he probably never actually thought either host would accept his challenge, but one has. Sean Hannity says he would be glad to meet Acosta to settle their differences. This is already funny, but the real comedy comes when Acosta tries to weasel out if this.
Here’s a quick recap on what started this stupidity:
Jim Acosta is trying to promote his book about how dangerous his job of asking dumb questions is. In that book he called out Hannity and Carlson because he’s a little bitch:
Before long, we boarded the press buses for the main event, the Trump-Putin joint news conference. As I set foot on the bus, I immediately spotted two of my biggest critics: Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity, Trump’s chief propagandists at Fox, were seated on the bus, too. And you know what? After all their attacks on me during their prime-time “state TV” programs, they didn’t say a word to me. You’d think they would have had something to say to my face, but their fauxmacho man bullshit, as it turns out, seems to stop at the doors at the Fox News headquarters.
Hannity then basically told Acosta that he wouldn’t have him on his show to let him peddle his “garbage” so Acosta went on the radio to cry some more:
“The likes of Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson, they’re willing to go off on me on their shows, but they’re not willing to have me on in person to defend myself. What’s with that? If you’re so darn tough, why don’t you give me an invitation to come on your show? What I’ve found over the last few days is that they’re not willing to do that,” Acosta said.
And then for some reason he challenged both Fox hosts to a schoolyard brawl:
“They’re willing to shoot spitballs from the sidelines like the class clown, but they’re not willing to meet me on the schoolyard. And that’s on them,” said Acosta.
Today on his radio show and blog, Hannity accepted Acosta’s challenge. But first he gave CNN’s White House correspondent a dose of reality:
“As I said to little Fake News Jimmy Acosta, you have not earned time on the number one show in all of cable news. You can tell all your reps to stop begging my staff, the answer is no. Unlike you, I don’t peddle lies on the lowest rated cable network in America. Nor will I promote your lies on 618 of the best talk radio stations in America,” said Hannity.
Then, it was on:
“For the record, I do not recall meeting you on a bus, why did you miss your big chance to talk to me? Now I do have good news for you. I will gladly meet you privately in a mutually agreeable ‘schoolyard’ ALONE, as you requested. My only condition is this meeting will have nothing to do with your failing book, failing career, or failing network. I’m free the week of the 4th,” Hannity said.
I just checked Acosta’s Twitter and there is no mention of Hannity accepting his challenge. Besides the fact that Hannity would kick the shit out of him, I suspect Acosta is going to back out because of the conditions of the fight. Hannity said they can do this in private and Acosta likes to be the center of attention. Never would he agree to do anything where he doesn’t get to posture and preen for the camera.
I feel like Acosta will address this eventually and it’ll be the bitchiest thing you’ve ever seen. He’ll accuse Hannity of being a bully and using violent rhetoric to silence his “real news” freedom of the press. He’ll try to flip the script and claim that it was Hannity who challenged him to a fight, despite all of the evidence to the contrary. Being fake news means being full of shit all the time.
There’s an episode of the Simpsons where Homer runs around slapping people in the face and challenging them to a duel. This works out fine for Homer until he slaps a professional dueler demanding satisfaction. When the dueler accepts Homers challenge, he runs away and hides. That’s Jim Acosta.
