This week there were separate existential threats to President Trump and Nancy Pelosi, but both managed to survive. The House of Representatives introduced articles of impeachment against President Trump, but it was quickly voted down. There was more serious challenge to Pelosi’s power when the House chaplain tried to cast out all of the dark spirits in the chamber. Against all odds, the House Speaker survived the attempted exorcism, proving that she truly is the queen of the damned and all that is unholy. It will take more than one chaplain to cast her back to hell.
On Thursday troglodyte Al Green once again introduced articles of impeachment against Trump for the high crime of being white and the misdemeanor of being a Republican. The Texas Rep. forced a vote against Pelosi’s wishes and it was shot down 332-95. All Republicans voted against impeachment and 137 democrats joined them.
Green has now tried to Impeach Trump 3 times and failed 3 times. Despite the crushing defeat, he feels encouraged by the vote:
“We had nearly 100 people this time, up from the 58 the first time. I do believe that this President will be impeached and I believe that it is our duty to do so,” said Green.
By the time he gets enough for votes for impeachment, the House will have flipped back to Republican control, in no small part to his insistence on impeaching the President for made-up crimes.
On Thursday Pelosi’s power was also challenged, as reported by The Hill:
The Rev. Patrick Conroy, the chaplain for the House of Representatives, offered a prayer Thursday to cast out “spirits of darkness” after the chamber was engulfed in controversy with the White House.
Conroy, a Jesuit priest who has been the House chaplain since 2011, preached that it has been a “difficult and contentious week in which darker spirits seem to have been at play in the people’s House.”
“In your most holy name, I now cast out all spirits of darkness from this chamber, spirits not from you. Anoint your servants here in the House with a healing balm with a comfort and renew the souls of all in this assembly. May your spirit of wisdom and patience descend upon all so that any spirit of darkness might have no place in our midst,” prayed Conroy.
And yet somehow Nancy Pelosi wasn’t cast into the eternal pits of fire.
I think the problem is, Conroy should have hit her with some holy water while repeating, “The power of Christ compels you.” I don’t know if that’s how it actually works, but I saw it have some degree of success in a movie once.
Conroy didn’t come out and say specifically that he was trying to exorcise, but he definitely was:
“I was on the House floor on Tuesday and to me, it felt different than other days. It felt like there was something going on beyond just political disagreement. The energy of the House was very off. No one was relishing what was happening,” Conroy said.
Tuesday was the day chaos erupted in the House when Pelosi introduced a resolution to declare President Trump a racist. It was her evil energy Conway was trying to get rid of.
Like I said, it’ll take a lot more to get rid of the demon Pelosi, AKA Beelzebitch. Does anyone know where the Spear of Destiny is?
