Beto O’Rourke sucks at skateboarding, bass playing, and running for president so it’s not a surprise that he sucks at making burgers too. Chances are he sucks at everything, but this sad attempt at flipping burgers shows why he will never be President of the United States. Everything about this proves he’s incompetent, inefficient, and flat-out wrong. Anyone who can’t make a reasonably good burger has no business running the country.
O’Rourke has recently rebooted his flailing presidential campaign for the second time. The two biggest aspects of Beto 3.0 appear to be him calling America a racist country and campaigning in places where nobody wants to talk to him. The one thing that hasn’t changed from previous versions of his campaign is that he’s still releasing weird videos of himself doing mundane and/or cringe-worthy things. This is both.
Here’s O’Rourke cooking what he thinks is a burger:
Beto makes a burger pic.twitter.com/PywGSE58jD
— Behind 2020 (@Behind2020) August 24, 2019
First off, he’s in Texas and frying burgers. Has he not heard of a barbecue grill? I’m pretty sure it’s Texas state law that all meat must be cooked on an open flame, preferably with mesquite.
You may notice that O’Rourke is using 3 separate pans to fry 4 patties. What the hell is up with that? All four of those patties would have fit in the big pan, but he’s using every pan in the house. This is some typical democratic inefficiency, wasting resources to do a substandard job. He probably figured, “f*ck it, my wife does the dishes so who cares how many pans I use?”
Next, O’Rourke uses a metal spatula on a pan with a non-stick surface, which is a big no-no. Again, he likely doesn’t care that he’s ruining a pan because he’s counting on the American taxpayers to buy him a new one.
O’Rourke slaps some individually-wrapped processed cheese-food slices on these greasy abominations, which most people would have a problem with. Personally, I’d use cheddar, Swiss, provolone, or pretty much anything besides fake cheese, but this is actually the least of his hate crimes against burgers.
Somehow this travesty gets worse. He is using English muffins instead of buns like this is some kind of Egg McMuffin/Big Mac Frankenstein fusion. Sorry, this is unacceptable and should be enough to permanently disqualify him from ever serving in public office.
Beto puts one of the burgers on the English muffin, but it’s way off-center. He stacks the second on perfectly, but now he has a wonky unbalanced double-cheeseburger. This is a metaphor for his floundering presidential campaign. If you don’t have a solid foundation, every thing you put on top will be unstable.
To top off this terrible creation, Beto drops a bunch of raw onion slices. No mayo, tomato, bacon, mayonnaise, or mustard. Just some onions on a fried double-burger with processed cheese sitting on an un-toasted English muffin. Yuck.
Beto is a democrat so he doesn’t have any good ideas to improv things, but he sure as hell knows how to make them worse. Sitting on the plate next to his McBarf burger are a couple of pieces of steamed broccoli. Are you shitting me! This guy is a freakin’ lunatic. In what way is this a meal fit for human consumption?
Not only does this burger fiasco prove that Beta O’Dork is unfit to hold office, it also indicates that he’s a heretic. Has anyone ever checked his scalp for a “666” birthmark?
It did occur to me that maybe this was a set-up. Like O’Rourke intentionally made a shitty unappetizing burger to show that we need to flood the country with illegal aliens to cook our food for us. Naw, he’s not that clever. He just sucks at everything including cooking burgers.
