Nooooo!!!! Kirsten Gillibrand has dropped out of the 2020 presidential race. It’s not that I liked her or thought she would make a good president, but she’s so stunningly stupid that she was an almost endless source of entertainment. Sure that Poopenlicker guy and two other democrats whose names I don’t know have dropped out in the past week, but this one stings. I’m as upset as when Eric “Duke Nukem” Swalwell quit. Now we have to rely on the rest of the mostly boring democratic party candidates to make us laugh. Thank God Joe Biden and Beto O’Rourke are still in the race.
A while ago I entered a contest to drink a glass of whiskey with Kirsten Gillibrand. I didn’t win but at least I was bombarded with spam fundraising e-mails from her campaign. As early as this morning I was getting pleas for money and then this happened:
Today, I am ending my campaign for president.
I am so proud of this team and all we’ve accomplished. But I think it’s important to know how you can best serve.
To our supporters: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Now, let’s go beat Donald Trump and win back the Senate. pic.twitter.com/xM5NGfgFGT
— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) August 28, 2019
In the accompanying concession video, at around the 25-second mark, there is a shot of Gillibrand stroking the face of a really ugly woman. What’s up with that? Also, that’s the kind of thing I’m going to miss with her out of the race.
“I’m so proud of this campaign and everything we’ve achieved,” said Gillibrand.
Immediately following that statement, there is a clip of Gillibrand saying that police don’t arrest white people because of “white privilege.” That is quite an impressive achievement considering Gillibrand is the second whitest democrat after Bernie Sanders.
In reality, Gillibrand dropped out of the race because she achieved nothing. In order to make the democratic party debate stage, democrats had to meet certain thresholds in polling numbers and fundraising. She failed to meet these and that’s why she’s gone. I actually thought about donating a buck to her campaign just to keep it going a little longer but then I remembered that there are literally a million better things to sped a dollar on.
Despite never getting more than 0% support, Gillibrand claims that she moved the needle on issues like women’s rights, immigration, and gun control. I know she’s pretty ditzy, but all of the 2020 democrats have the exact same bad ideas on everything. The only thing she moved the needle on was futility.
It’s not a total loss for Gillibrand. She says that she’s going to put her effort into defeating President Trump and making sure that only women get elected to office. She’s even prepared to march with people to make this happen, but I bet she doesn’t end up doing that. She doesn’t seem like the type of person who would be willing to wear sensible shoes.
With Gillibrand’s campaign DOA it’s time we do an In Memorium of this failed venture:
Gillibrand kicked her campaign off by showing black people she has no idea how to eat fried chicken.
She then promised to punch President Trump in the face, a promise she did not keep.
And who can forget this:
Desperate for some support, Gillibrand offered a free abortion to anyone who voted for her.
When asked what her favorite food is, she replied, “whiskey!”
When asked how she would pay for the “Green New Deal” she responded that she would “Clorox” the White House.
That’s quite a highlight reel, isn’t it?
With Gillibrand gone, the other 2020 dems need to step up their crazy game. Joe Biden is doing his part but the rest of the field is slacking. When was the last time you even heard Kamala Harris name? Nobody is following these kooks because they have good ideas or stand a chance at becoming POTUS. We’re in it for the insanity.
