Chick-fil-A makes a heck of good chicken sandwich that some say has supernatural powers. I’ve seen this sandwich first hand make people stand in a 100-deep line just to get one. I’ve witnessed the sandwich compelled people to double park because they must get one at any cost. Like everything powerful, there is a dark side. According to faculty at Kansas University, Chick-fil-A sandwiches are evil and make minority students feel unsafe. As such, they are demanding that the restaurant be banned from the campus.
Recently the Chick-fil-A on the Kansas University campus was relocated from a basement to a prominent spot at the student union. In addition, the chain reached an endorsement deal with the school’s football team to sponsor the coin toss. Apparently these things represent hate crimes so a group of faculty fired off an angry letter to the university’s chancellor and provost.
Even without reading the content of the letter you know it’s going to be hilarious because it comes from the KU Sexuality & Gender Diversity Faculty and Staff Council. What are the chances a group by that name is going to write something rational, intelligent, and poignant?
According to the KUSGDFSC, Chick-fil-A is anti-LGBTQRSTUV:
“The culture of Chick-fil-A fosters hate and discrimination on multiple levels. In short, Chick-Fil-A on KU’s campus stands in direct contrast to the university’s mission of fostering a multicultural, inclusive environment,” wrote the group.
This bunch of nutters didn’t give any examples of Chick-fil-A fostering hate on one level let alone multiple levels, but that’s how hysterical outrage works: facts schmacts.
The faculty were particularly upset that Chick-fil-A was relocated to the student union because, as they point out, that was the first place on campus to have uni-sex bathrooms. Also, the student union is “safe space” for minorities.
“The arrival of Chick-fil-A in this building is insulting, counterproductive, and unacceptable,” they wrote.
If you think it’s nuts that these people find the opening of a fast food chicken restaurant is insulting and unacceptable, check this shit out:
“Moving Chick-Fil-A to the Union and granting it a role at the start of all home football games violates the feelings of safety and inclusion that so many of us have striven to create, foster, and protect on campus, and sends a message that the Union, KU Athletics, and the administration at large are more concerned about money and corporate sponsorship than the physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing of marginalized and LGBTQ people,” the faculty group wrote.
There you have it: a tasty chicken sandwich violates the safety of minorities and threatens their physical and emotional wellbeing.
All lefty shitfits are based on irrational emotional responses, but I have some hard science on this one. A Chick-fil-A opened up near my house earlier this year and I’ve taken the the opportunity to do some crucial research. My city has a very low black population at just 2.5%, but when I go to the Chick-fil-A there are tons of black people, something you don’t see at any other establishment in town. I was able to observe these black people buying chicken sandwiches and none of them seemed physically injured or emotionally scarred. None of them appeared terrified at all and in fact were in good spirits.
The group of faculty weirdoes is demanding that Kansas University end its contracts with Chick-fil-A and boot them off campus but it won’t do any good. Anyone who is afraid of a chicken sandwich is going to find something equally dumb to be scared of. The university will have to get rid of trashcans, florescent lights, kiosks, and pretty much everything to make these people happy.
It would be cheaper and easier to fire this handful of faculty members and expel the fragile students who live in mortal fear of a damn good chicken sandwich.
