She’s trying so hard to be relatable. Wealthy out-of-touch Elizabeth Warren has tried to convince people she’s “regular folk” by drinking beer, dancing like a goober, and using a fake hillbilly accent when she talks to the peasants. Now she’s hoping to swing support from Star Wars fans by claiming to be a Jedi. She doesn’t have a great track record for claiming ancestry, so chances are she is only 1/1024th Jedi
Behold:
Billionaires, Wall Street CEOs, and Sith Lords—beware. The force is strong with @ewarren. #StarWars pic.twitter.com/joxXj2yMPB
— Team Warren (@TeamWarren) December 20, 2019
As her story goes, her grandpappy was a Jedi knight who had to elope with her Indian grandmammy because a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, mixed marriages were not tolerated by the Empire. Thankfully the Death Star got blowed up a couple of times and eventually they were able to settle down in Tattooine, the Oklahoma of Star Wars planets, and start a family.
Though Warren had listed her race as Jedi/Native American on job applications, she insists that her fake minority status had nothing to do with the advancement of her academic career. It was her determination and the power of the Force that got her where she is today.
The beauty of Warren claiming Jedi ancestry is that unlike that Indian thing, no one can prove her wrong. There is no DNA test that can check for Midi-chlorians, which are intelligent microscopic life forms that live symbiotically inside the cells of all living things. High levels of Midi-chlorians allow a being to tap the power of the Force and indicate Jediness.
Another advantage is that at this point there’s only one Jedi left. It’s not like there are tribes of Jedis who can call her out for lying about her ancestry.
Her biggest problem is that she can’t actually demonstrate any Force powers. She tried to use the Jedi Mind Trick by saying, “I never pretended to be an Indian princess” and waving her hand but only the liberal media believed that brainwashing attempt. Being full of shit is an ability, just not a Jedi ability. While the Force may not be with her, the “Farce” is strong in this one.
If Elizabeth Warren wants to find a Star Wars character to believably associate with, she needn’t look farther than Jar Jar Binks. He’s a goofball with bad ideas, who makes jerky unsettling motions and speaks in mostly gibberish. She’s comically awkward, wants to destroy America, shakes her head like a chicken eating corn, and expresses her opinions with gobbledygook. They are one in the same.
The sad thing is, Elizabeth Warren actually believes this pathetic cultural reference pandering will expand her base of support.
Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 election for a lot of reasons, but the biggest one was because she is a fake person. Elizabeth Warren is every bit as disingenuous as Hillary but doesn’t have nearly the political machine behind her. She’s going to get destroyed worse than Alderaan, which is a Star War reference she doesn’t know because she’s pretending to be a fan when she’s not.
