After a coronavirus delay, baseball finally returned this week with less fans but more “wokeness.” Since social justice crap has ruined the sport and the time has passed for American’s pastime, here’s some baseball-themed WTF? to keep you going:
Ball One of the Week
Adolf Hitler ‘was a sexual pervert with a micropenis and one testicle’ says report
Adolf Hitler was a genocidal tyrant who was responsible for the deaths of tens of millions – and apparently he had some very unusual kinks as well.
The Austrian who rose to become Germany’s unquestioned dictator sparked the deadliest conflict the world has ever seen, as well as ordering the deaths of millions because of his twisted racist beliefs.
Henry Murray, a psychologist from Harvard University spent the war years working for the OSS – an American intelligence agency that coordinated espionage, subversion and propaganda against the Axis powers.
Murray wrote a briefing document for the OSS called Analysis of the Personality of Adolph Hitler, in an effort to understand the German leader.
Murray theorised that Hitler was sexually impotent with women and that there was a possibility that Hitler had been involved in a homosexual relationship.
Hitler’s sex life revolved around humiliation, thought Murray. His relationships with women were abusive and never consummated in a normal way.
Former sexual partners of the Nazi told Dr Murray that Hitler had a micro-penis and just one testicle. He also liked women to defecate on him as part of sex.
Does a man with one ball have two strikes against him?
Slugger of the Week
Chico man arrested after hitting his elderly mother and throwing feces at officers
A Chico man was arrested on Thursday after police responded to a report of elder abuse and were met with flying feces and spit.
The Chico Police Department says they received a call at 4:14 p.m. from a motorist saying they saw a man hitting a woman in a vehicle as they drove by. After searching the area, officers were unable to find the suspected vehicle.
A short time later, officers responded to a home on Robailey Drive after a woman said her son, Madison Sall, 44, struck her in the head several times.
She told officers her son was outside the home, breaking windows, trying to get inside.
When officers arrived, they noticed Sall outside the home. They say he was in a wheelchair and had defecated himself.
As officers tried to speak with Sall, he began throwing his feces at the officers, also spitting in an officer’s face.
CPD says Sall then tried to charge one of the officers but was quickly halted when pepper-sprayed.
After Sall was sprayed, he became compliant, according to CPD.
This Chico and the Man reboot sounds awesome.
Louisville Slugger of the Week
Dead person buried in penis-shaped coffin gets people talking
Just as some people of certain professions are buried in coffins designed to portray the kind of work they did before their death, a video has surfaced online in which a deceased is being buried in a penis-shaped coffin.
It is not clear what the gender of the deceased is and what work he or she did before passing away, for which reason the family thought it necessary to use the kind of coffin they used.
The funeral was held in Ghana but where exactly in the country it happened is not yet known.
It is also clear that the said funeral was held not too long ago because some of the attendees are seen wearing nose masks, suggesting it occurred during this COVID-19 period.
Cocksmith? Dongshoreman? Wangman?
Golden Glove of the Week
Lewisham paedophile who put his penis on young girl’s mouth as she slept jailed
A Lewisham paedophile who put his penis on a young girl’s mouth while she slept has been jailed.
Andrew Janes took several photos of himself carrying out the sickening act on the girl on his mobile phone.
The 29-year-old , of Boundfield Road, also put the girl’s hand on his penis, and sent the images to a random person he met online.
Janes was caught when he began speaking to a girl he thought was 14 through an online chatting app, but in fact it was a fake profile set up by an online group to protect children, called SGTI.
On Wednesday (July 22) he was jailed for eight years and six months, and was given an extended license of five years.
What the f*ck is a paedophile?
Foul Ball of the Week
Struggling new dad “pulled baby from bath by genitals”
A struggling new dad dropped his two-week old son in the bath and pulled him out by his genitals, a court heard.
And when the tot’s mum changed him she noticed he had marks on his stomach and she called in paramedics, who found the boy’s private parts were sore, swollen and bruised.
The disturbing discovery was an earth-shattering hammer blow which resulted in the breakdown of the marriage and a criminal prosecution, Bristol Crown Court heard.
The 33-year-old defendant, who lives near Bristol, pleaded guilty to causing cruelty to a child.
David Maunder, prosecuting, said the dad initially had no explanation for his son’s injuries.
But he went on to say he and his wife had been struggling with the newborn and, on the night in question, he drank four bottles of Stella lager and two gin and tonics and was “half-cut” when he dropped the tot face first into the bath.
Mr Maunder told the court: “He said (the baby) fell face first into the bath from a height of two-and-a-half to three feet.
“The defendant grabbed out at what ever was standing out.
“He pulled him out by his genitals.
The good news is, the baby is apparently very well-endowed.
Dugout of the Week
Trans woman suing over sex-change op that left her with ‘rotten’ 3-inch vagina
A transgender beauty queen is suing a clinic over a sex-change operation that left her with a “rotten” three-inch deep vagina after her boyfriend left her.
Thai beauty queen Yolrawee Saisupee, 23, said her boyfriend dumped her because her vagina couldn’t satisfy him like a “normal woman.”
She claims to have paid 240,000THB (5,954GBP) in April last year but the result was botched, and her genitals couldn’t function properly.
Yolrawee said she and the clinic agreed on a seven-inch deep vagina, but her reassignment turned out to be “rotten, stinking and bled with pus.”
The star said she couldn’t even go to the toilet, and returned to the clinic to ask them for a second reassignment which left her with three-inch genitals.
She said: “The vagina that I was reassigned was rotten, stinking and bled with pus after the surgery so I went back to have it fixed.
“However, after they treated my rotten vagina it would still function correctly and I could not go to the toilet.”
Yolrawee said the depth of her vagina “frustrated” her boyfriend and the reassignment surgery led to the couples break up.
Frustrated by the depth, but not the pus? Bonus joke: Pus Puss.
Stealing Home of the Week
A girl on TikTok got pregnant without having sex and a doctor said it’s possible
As if 2020 wasn’t wild enough, there’s now a genuine virgin Mary. 26-year-old Sammi Isabel revealed on TikTok she got pregnant when she was 19-years-old without ever having sex.
And according to a doctor this rare occurrence is actually completely possible.
Sammi created a TikTok to share her bizarre story, which has now got more than 1.4 million views. In the video she says how her period was late and her boyfriend at prom had to get her some pregnancy tests, presuming they would come back negative.
She took one test which came out positive and so thinking it was a fluke she took more tests which all came out positive as well.
At a doctor’s appointment Sammi was told she was five weeks pregnant, despite never having penetrative sex. Sammi wasn’t on any form of birth control, though she and her boyfriend had done bits they had never gone the whole way.
Dr. Jennifer Lincoln [said] whilst this is rare, it is possible to get pregnant without having sex as sperm can still get into the vagina in other ways.
She said: “Sperm has to get into a vagina in order for pregnancy to happen. It doesn’t matter what puts it there — whether it’s a penis, finger, turkey baster, you name it — but once it’s there, it can travel through the cervix, into the uterus, and rendezvous with an egg in the fallopian tube and fertilise it.
“With fingering, if some semen is on the fingers that touch or enter a vagina, the amount is likely lower than with penetrative sex. But like I’ve said before, it only takes one sperm that’s in the right place at the right time!”
So her boyfriend was master-basting?
Switch Hitter of the Week
Former Medical Staffing Business Owner Indicted on Multiple Charges
A multi-year investigation by Special Agents with the Medicaid Fraud Control Division of the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation has resulted in the indictment and arrest of a Pulaski woman on multiple counts, including TennCare fraud, forgery, and identity theft.
TBI Special Agents received information indicating that Cathy Taylor, the then-owner of Five Star Medical Staffing in Franklin, was engaged in billing TennCare, and receiving payments, for personal care services that were not received by clients. The investigation revealed that from 2011 through 2018, Taylor submitted forged timesheets, and signed individuals’ names, as though they had performed or received the services. Agents also learned she submitted timesheets for services not rendered to clients, and forged both employee and client signatures.
On July 13th, the Williamson County Grand Jury returned indictments charging Cathy Lynn Taylor (DOB 11/13/1963) with one count of Theft over $10,000, seven counts of Forgery, 30 counts of Identity Theft, and one count of TennCare Fraud.
Woman? That’s Arnold’s disguise from Total Recall.
Force Out of the Week
Man Who Assaulted Dalit Boy, Forced Him To Eat Excreta For Defecating On His Land, Arrested
A 50-year-old man, identified as Rajasekhar, who allegedly abused a 14-year-old Dalit boy with casteist slurs before forcing him to eat and carry his own excreta to his house was arrested by the Dharmapuri police in Tamil Nadu on July 22.
On July 18, Rajasekar, a Brahmin land owner allegedly found the young boy defecating on his land. According to the FIR filed in the case, Rajasekhar assaulted the teenager and forced him to eat his own excreta.
He then made him carry the excreta back to his house. The young boy then went back home and informed his father about the incident.
Those who witnessed the assault on the young boy tried to stop it but Rajasekhar did not stop.
“We have a toilet constructed by the union government but we do not have water, so we defecate in the open. On that day, my child was defecating on the land owned by Rajasekhar, when he passed by. On seeing the child, he immediately got down from the vehicle and started hitting my son with a cane for defecating in the open,” the boy’s father [said].
“Rajasekhar told my son to eat the faeces since he had defecated on his land. He also uttered a casteist slur to my boy and told him to pick up the excreta with his hands,” he added.
The father said that the boy was so traumatised by the incident that he couldn’t eat.
That’s a problem the kid should have had before he ate the faeces. Also, wtf? is faeces?
Triple Play of the Week
Ohio Woman Has Threesome Sex With Pet Dogs; Banned From Owing Pets After Video Goes Online
A Youngstown woman, found guilty of having a threesome with her two pet dogs, was sentenced to 90 days of house arrest and $750 fine. The court has also banned 40-year-old Tiffany Riley to own a pet for life.
The incident came to light after a video of Riley having sex with her two Shih Tzu dogs surfaced online in February. The disturbing video forced the authorities and animal rights activists to launch an investigation. Under Ohio law, bestiality is considered a misdemeanour.
During the hearing, Riley’s attorney claimed that she was in a ‘highly intoxicated’ state when the sexual assault on dogs took place.
In its report, WKBN stated that the investigators revealed that one of the Shih Tzu was found to be pregnant when they arrived at Riley’s house located in Waverly Avenue on the city’s west side.
Getting Shiht-faced with the Shih Tzus.
Squeeze Play of the Week
It’s taken months, but a mother on meth who awoke to find her 3-week-old son dead in her bed faces charges – and this isn’t her first child to die under such circumstances.
As PaHomePage reports, Rebecca Hallock, 37, of Scranton, now faces charges of involuntary manslaughter, reckless endangerment of another person, and endangering welfare of children in the November 2019 death of her newborn.
This, after a forensic pathologist ruled the cause of death as “compatible with mechanical asphyxia due to co-sleeping with parent.”
In addition, a blood test showed Hallock had methamphetamine and THC in her system at the time of the incident, PaHomePage reports, citing court papers.
As a result, the months long police investigation concluded Hallock caused the death of her 3-week-old son when she co-slept with the infant while she was under the influence of drugs.
But police say this isn’t the first time one of Hallock’s children died under such circumstances:
PaHomePage reports the affidavit in the case says Hallock stated that something similar happened in 2017 when she was sleeping with her 1-month-old child. When she awoke, the child had suffocated.
Maybe parenthood is not for her.
Batter Up of the Week
Florida man beats neighbor, neighbor’s dog with axe handle
A Gainesville man is facing several charges after he got into a fight with his neighbor, police say.
On Thursday, James Gardner, 66, got into an argument with his neighbor about the neighbor’s friends parking their vehicles between the two homes, according to the report. After talking with police about the incident, Gardner became increasingly agitated and said, “GPD doesn’t do anything! I’ll handle it myself like they do on the east side.”
Around 10 minutes after officers left the area, Gardner walked to the neighbor’s home armed with an axe handle, according to the report. Gardner banged on the door with the handle, and when his neighbor opened it, Gardner hit the victim in the side of the head.
Gardner continued hitting the victim in the body with the axe handle, according to the report. The neighbor then tackled Gardner out of the house and into the yard, where the skirmish continued.
The neighbor’s dog came outside and lunged at Gardner, who then began hitting the dog with the axe handle, according to the report. The neighbor started punching Gardner to protect himself and his dog.
During the struggle, Gardner pulled out a gun, and the two fought over it, according to the report. A nearby neighbor arrived and helped separate the two before authorities showed up.
Gardner was transported to the hospital for his injuries, where he expressed regret for his action, according to the report.
And that’s where the term “to fly off the handle” comes from.
Brushback Pitch of the Week
Bathing Woman Uninjured After Gunfire Plows Through Bathroom
A 21-year-old Yorktown man told police he was “target shooting” in the hallway of his home when one of the bullets entered his neighbor’s shower where a woman was bathing, according to the Westchester County District Attorney.
Officials said no one was injured from the incident.
Connor Scanlan, of Friends Road in Yorktown, was charged Sunday with first degree reckless endangerment, a felony, criminal mischief and prohibited use of a weapon when he allegedly fired bullets in his home, piercing the walls of his neighbor’s home.
Scanlan’s neighbors called police at about 3:45 p.m. on Sunday, July 12, when they heard loud bangs and repeated hits to the side of their home, the district attorney said. Yorktown Police responded and found several bullet holes in the siding of both Scanlan’s home and the adjoining house.
The 21-year-old told police he had been shooting the .22 caliber rifle in the hallway of his house. Police took the gun along with several other airsoft rifles and related paraphernalia. The rifle is a legally-owned weapon, officials said.
Quit crowding the plate, bitch!
Strike Out of the Week
Sex escort meeting in Deltona turns into beating, robbery, deputies say
A Deltona man waiting in an alley for sex with an escort he met online was instead beaten and robbed, Volusia County sheriff’s deputies said.
The woman, Dallas Wass, 35, and Jacob Leite, 37, both of DeLand, were arrested and each were charged in the Wednesday morning incident with aggravated battery causing bodily harm and robbery. Both Wass and Leite were in the Volusia County Branch Jail on Thursday, each on $20,000 bail.
The beating came after deputies said the victim showed up with only $5.
The beating left Joshua Jobe, 20, with a fractured nose and cuts and bruises on his face and head. His cheek required stitches, investigating deputies said.
According to Sheriff’s Office charging documents, a bleeding Jobe flagged down a deputy on patrol around 4:59 a.m. on Wednesday near the Burger King at 2790 Elkcam Blvd. and reported he had been attacked and robbed.
In an interview with sheriff’s detectives from his hospital bed, Jobe said he met Wass two months ago on a social media site, Escort Fish, and had sex with her twice in June and paid her $95 each time they had sex, a report states.
On Wednesday, Jobe sent text messages to Wass to set up another meeting, deputies said. Wass showed up but got upset when Jobe told her he only had $5 this time, a report states. She yelled at Jobe for wasting her time and told him to get out of her truck and drove off, investigators said.
Jobe texted Wass to come back. She did, but not alone, deputies said.
Wass returned to Alley 1898 and as she pulled over, Leite jumped out of the back of the truck and began beating Jobe until he blacked out, a report states.
When Jobe woke up, he realized that his two cellphones were missing, deputies said.
Wass and Leite also stole Jobe’s $5, deputies said.
Technically he did get f*cked, so there’s that.
Sacrifice Fly of the Week
Teen stabbed at knife awareness course
A young offender stabbed another teenager to death at a community centre while on a knife awareness course, a court has heard.
The 17-year-old boy, who cannot be named, knifed Hakim Sillah, 18, twice in the chest at the west London centre on 7 November last year, Isleworth Crown Court was told.
Prosecutors said there was “a cruel irony” that Mr Sillah was stabbed while attending a weapons awareness course.
The teenager denies murdering him.
He also denies two counts of wounding with intent and one count of unlawful wounding.
Mr Sillah was stabbed twice in the chest and had defensive injuries on his hands from trying to take control of the blade, Ms Nelson said.
Despite medical intervention, he died shortly after in hospital.
“That defendant does not dispute killing Hakim Sillah, nor could he,” Ms Nelson said.
“He says he did not intend to kill or to cause really serious harm and told the police in his caution interview that he had acted in lawful self-defence. [He] had intended to stab Hakim Sillah in the arm, but he moved.
Technically he demonstrated knife awareness, so there’s that.
Home Run Derby of the Week
Montana man accused of over 60 child sex abuse crimes gets 1-year sentence
A man in Montana who was initially charged with more than 60 counts of child sex abuse has received a deferred 1-year sentence after agreeing to a plea deal…
William Miller Jr., 51, of Great Falls, was arrested in February 2019 after a 14-year-old high school student accused him of raping her at her home a year prior. She alleged that Miller allowed an 11-year-old boy to rape her while he watched in a separate encounter.
Later that August, state prosecutors filed 64 counts of sexual abuse of children against Miller after investigators allegedly found images of child pornography and bestiality on his phone and laptop…
Ft. Meade Man Arrested For 70 Counts Of Possession Of Child Porn
On July 23, 2020, Polk County Sheriff’s Office Computer Crimes detectives arrested 36 year-old Steven Lacy DeVane of Fort Meade, Florida charging him with 3 counts of using a child to engage in sex acts (F-2) and 70 counts possession of child pornography (enhanced) (F-2). The charges are enhanced because the images/videos met one of the following criteria per FSS 755.0847:
a) The offender possesses 10 or more images of any form of child pornography regardless of content; and
b) The content of at least one image contains one or more of the following:
1. A child who is younger than the age of 5
2. Sadomasochistic abuse involving a child
3. Sexual Battery involving a child
4. Sexual bestiality involving a child
5. Any movie involving a child, regardless of length and regardless of whether the movie contains sound
It’s like the 1998 homer chase between Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire if they were both child molesters.
