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DNC Day 2: AOC Nominates Bernie And Elizabeth Warren Is An Indian Again

DNC Day 2: AOC Nominates Bernie And Elizabeth Warren Is An Indian Again

The clownshow crap sandwich of day one of the Democratic National Convention was going to be hard to beat but somehow the dems pulled it off. It still wasn’t something anyone with a will to live could sit through but there were a few entertaining (in a sad way) moments. AOC nominated Bernie Sanders for president, Rapist Bill Clinton kind of endorsed Donald Trump, and the big news is that Elizabeth Warren has amazingly reclaimed her fake Indian heritage.

Day two of the DNC lacked the star-power of day one with Michelle Obama calling America racist, but what they lacked in A-listers they made up with the sheer volume of people from the D-list.

Through a major stroke of luck they managed to land an appearance by noted anti-Semite Linda Sarsour:

“The democratic party is not perfect but it is absolutely our party at this moment,” claimed Sarsour.

Apparently the democratic party now belongs to the anti-Semites.

In one of the greatest moments in cultural appropriation history, Elizabeth Warren was a featured speaker for the DNC Native American Caucus:

Warren may not be the party’s nominee, but she is the first person to beat a DNA test and that ain’t nothing.

Most of Bill Clinton’s sexual assaults were grandfathered in before the #MeToo moment so he was allowed to speak without exposing democrats as massive hypocrites:

Bill had the lack of self-awareness to suggest Trump was doing inappropriate things in the Oval Office and then delivered what seems like an endorsement:

“If you want a president who defines the job as spending hours a day watching TV and zapping people on social media, he’s your man,” said Clinton of Trump.

I’m sold. Zapping people on social media is better than a president zapping interns.

Establishment democrats did not want Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to speak and now we know why:

After ranting about racism and socialism, Ocasio-Cortez said, “At a time when millions of people in the U.S. are looking for solutions to these crises, I hereby second the nomination for Bernard Sanders for president of the United States.”

That must be some of that party unity the democrats were promising us. I, for one, am shocked that democrats failed to deliver on a promise.

AOC’s nomination of Bernie Sanders didn’t work however. They did a roll call and Joe Biden got the nomination. Here is the lame moment when Crazy Joe got the nod:

If you could harness the energy from this moment, you could maybe propel an electric scooter for a half a block. Biden’s reaction is not unlike someone getting and ugly tie for Christmas. He’s trying to be polite but you know he doesn’t like it.

In Biden’s defense, chances are he had no idea what just happened. People around him were happy so he was happy too but clearly he didn’t understand why people were clapping.

It’ll be hard to top day two of the DNC but on Wednesday Kamala Harris and Barack Obama are slated to speak so there will be a definite urban vibe plus a tremendous amount of bullshit.