Is Joe Biden A Zombie? Trump Campaign Ad Says Yes

The best humor is based in truth and the Trump campaign killed it with a new ad. Designed to be a satirical look into the possibility that Joe Biden is a zombie, they may have actually hit upon something. Clearly Joe is not right in the head but his people and the liberal media keep insisting it’s not cognitive decline, senility, or insanity. If we rule those things out, that just leaves zombieism. I’m not sure the democratic party and their propaganda machine wanted that to be their message but that’s where they have led things.

This Trump campaign ad is slated to air on zombie-themed TV shows Fear the Walking Dead,  and The Walking Dead: World Beyond just in time for Halloween:

“Here’s how you can spot a zombie,” says the announcer. “Look for someone who has a corpse-like appearance…”

The video shows footage of Biden staring blankly into the camera, his face pale and lifeless.

“…Exhibits aggressive behavior,” the announcer continued.

Cut to Biden freaking the hell out on a reporter.

“…Craves human flesh…”

Now it’s onto Biden creeping on a little girl and smelling her hair.

“…And utters incoherent moan and groans.”

Finally, there is Biden looking downward, mumbling nonsense.

“With your help, we can prevent the zombie uprising,” proclaims the announcer.

Funny? Yes. True? More than likely. We can even trace the point of zombie infection back to a democratic primary debate last year:

There has never been an official Biden explanation as to why his eyes started filling with blood. Now we know why.

The liberal media will come to Biden’s rescue and say that he can’t be a zombie because Joe talks and zombies don’t. The zombies in Return of the Living Dead can talk so narrative busted.

Also, zombies in films like Day of the Dead and Land of the Dead can be taught to say things kind of like how Biden is coached by his handlers to deliver rehearsed lines. And just like talking zombies, Biden doesn’t quite get it right.

Zombies in the Haitian voodoo tradition are actually created as semiconscious slaves. Biden is clearly under the command of others as he lumbers through this presidential campaign. He does and says what he’s told, slowly and clumsily. That’s classic zombie behavior that his handlers are hoping you don’t notice.

Another reason to believe Joe is a zombie is because of his inherent creepiness. His apologists insist that he doesn’t sniff women’s hair, despite tons of pix and video that say otherwise. It turns out that’s not a lie. He ain’t sniffing their hair, he’s smelling their brains, which everyone knows is a zombie staple.

He does in fact eat human flesh, which puts this picture into a weird new perspective:

The biggest reason however to believe Joe is a one-man zombie apocalypse is because he’s never contracted COIVID-19. Joe coughs in his hand, rubs his face, picks his nose, and licks his fingers after groping and sniffing people. If anyone was going to get sick, it’s him but it hasn’t happened. Obviously zombies can’t get coronavirus and Joe’s the walking dead proof of that.

And let’s face it, it’s a lot harder to prove Joe Biden isn’t a zombie than it is to prove he is.

The only weird thing here is that Biden’s people are trying to hide that he’s a zombie because it would play perfectly to his base. They’ve tried to pass millionaire elite Biden off as the champion of the working man. They’ve tried to pass off lily-white Joe as the next best thing to a black person. Anyone who would vote for him is a braindead mooch and nothing appeals to them more than “Zombie Joe.”

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