LA Mayor Locks Down City For Everyone But Rioters, Bums, And Movie Stars

Yesterday, Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti said it was “time to cancel everything” before issuing a new lockdown of the city. While he said “everything” must shut down, he did make a few exemptions. The rest of the city has to shelter in place while rioters, bums, and movie starts are free to roam about because liberal priorities dictate it.

Here’s some fun things from Mayor Garcetti’s latest lockdown order that take “cancel culture” to the extreme:

The Coronavirus is widespread in our community, and the latest data from the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health shows more Angelenos are infected with COVID-19 than ever before.

Our City is now close to a devastating tipping point, beyond which the number of hospitalized patients would start to overwhelm our hospital system, in turn risking needless suffering and death. These unfortunate facts about the spread of COVID-19 in our City mean that we must resume some of the more restrictive measures we instituted in the Spring.

And this is what that means:

Subject only to the exceptions outlined in this Order, all persons living within the City of Los Angeles are hereby ordered to remain in their homes.

Subject only to the exceptions outlined in this Paragraph and Paragraph V below, all businesses within the City of Los Angeles are ordered to cease operations that require in-person attendance by workers at a workplace.

All public and private gatherings of any number of people from more than one household are prohibited…

All travel, including, without limitation, travel on foot, bicycle, scooter, motorcycle, automobile, or public transit is prohibited…

Damn, you can’t even ride a bike in LA? It sounds harsh, but Garcetti doesn’t want to seem like a dictator so he made a few exemptions with a liberal twist:

Residents of the City of Los Angeles who are experiencing homelessness are exempt from this requirement.

…cannabis dispensaries…

Newspapers, television news, radio, magazine, podcast and journalism; and music, film and television production…

Music and Video Production.

Professional sports leagues, teams and facilities may operate for training and competition…

…outdoor protests with social distancing and face masks.

Apparently certain people are simply immune to the coronavirus like bums, rioters, and podcasters. It’d be nice if Garcetti had provided the science behind these exemptions because this seems like bullshit liberal hypocrisy.

If you are a homeless dope-smoking social justice warrior movie star, Los Angeles is the place for you. If not…

Failure to comply with this Order shall constitute a misdemeanor subject to fines and imprisonment.

And Garcetti’s order sets that fine at $500. In LA, you could go to jail for riding your bike, but not for smoking weed, public defecation, or looting. Liberal priorities, y’all.

The solution here is actually quiet simple: Wanna have some friends over for a barbecue? Call it a social justice march and have the LAPD declare it a riot. Wanna ride your bike? Tell the cops you are a bum who looted the bike from Target. Wanna travel openly in public spaces? Do it while hitting a bong. Wanna avoid jail for doing things that free people do? Be a liberal Hollywood douchebag.