When you think of the Cleveland Indians, usually you consider the “Cleveland” part of the name offensive, but the organization is ditching the “Indians” instead. After years of mild pressure from a small number of leftist lunatics, the baseball team will be getting a new name. They say when you get woke you go broke, but the artist formerly known as the Indians are already poorly positioned so this may be a lateral move.
Fox News reports:
Cleveland Indians owner Paul Dolan said Monday an “awakening or epiphany” after the death of George Floyd was a part of the reason why the team name will eventually change.
Dolan and the organization announced it officially started the process of changing the team’s name but it will likely stay as the Indians through the 2021 season. Dolan [said] in an interview that he “empathizes” with fans who don’t want the name altered. Cleveland has been known as the Indians since 1915.
In a statement attributed to Dolan, he said that he talked to Native American and local leaders about the name.
“I am truly grateful for their engagement and input, which I found enlightening and insightful. When a sports team is aligned with its community, it unlocks the ability to unite people from different backgrounds and bring people together in support of their home team. While Indians will always be a part of our history, it is time to move forward and work to unify our stakeholders and fans through a new name,” said Dolan.
Let’s see if we got this straight: George Floyd, a black guy from Minnesota, died of a drug overdose-induced heart attack so now the Cleveland Indians, which is not offensive to black people, has to change their name? That’s some stunning liberal logic there.
The question is, what will they change their name to? The team formerly known as the Washington Redskins lacked any sort of imagination and just renamed themselves as The Washington Football Team. Cleveland doesn’t have to share this sad fate because there are plenty of good suggestions on Twitter:
Gotta go Cleveland Steamers!!
— Ryan Thurn (@RyanThurn) December 14, 2020
Cleveland Rockers
— Andre Lower (@baseballbyposit) December 14, 2020
1. The Cleveland Eries
2. The Cleveland Fighting Walleye
3. The Cleveland Industrial Hammers
4. The Cleveland Rusty Dogs— Joe Brickman (@JBricks5) December 14, 2020
The Cleveland… You know… The thing.
— Dr. President-elect Redcloak the Unruly (@BrewingAle) December 14, 2020
UPDATE: They have officially decided on the new name the Cleveland Liz Warrens.
— Love Truth Faith ❤️ (@LoveTruthFaith) December 14, 2020
That last one is the best and therefore will least likely to be it. Cleveland has spent its whole life pretending to be Indians, just like Elizabeth Warren. It’s too perfect.
I do think everyone is ignoring the obvious thing here. There’s already a Cleveland Browns, so why not keep the color theme going and rename the baseball team the Cleveland Reds? Cincinnati can f*ck off and it allows Cleveland to more or less keep the same name. Come to think of it, the Cleveland Cavaliers should also change their name to the Cleveland Blacks to achieve an affinity of color for all of the city’s sports teams.
Next on the chopping block: the Atlanta Braves and the Kansas City Chiefs. I suggest the “Atlanta Slaves” to honor 400 years of democratic party oppression and the “Kansas City Chefs” because they can just take the “I” out and leave everything else the same.
