Celebrity political opinions are like homeless encampments; there’s too many of them and they all smell like shit. Now that democrats and the liberal media have successfully banished Donald Trump, there’s nothing to report on so they’ve decided asking Hollywood liberals what they would do if they were president is good filler for otherwise dead airspace. George Clooney, the most presidential of all celebrities, would ban guns.
Here’ the kind of hard-hitting news Reuters intends to tackle now in the Joe Biden era:
Celebrities were asked what the first thing they’d do if they were elected president. Spoiler alert: it’s all very stupid.
“First thing I’m going to tackle? I’m gonna go with hunger,” said LeAnn Rimes.
So, she’s gonna make a sandwich? I guess that’s not too bad. People gotta eat and she is looking a little emaciated.
“The first thing I would do as president is, uh, listen to science and that is a pretty good place to start,” said Kevin Bacon.
What the hell does that even mean? Listening to anything is hardly a bold action for a president, but at least say he’s going to listen to the Footloose soundtrack or something that can actually be listened to.
“I would get funds from the Department of Agriculture, the Department of Energy, the Department of Defense to create workforce development,” said Will I. Am.
Congress decides how the money gets spent and they do this with a budget they present at the end of he year. So Will I. Am’s first act as president would be to sit around and do nothing for most of the year and then try to do something stupid that he has no authority to do. Brilliant.
“It would kind of be neck in neck between social justice and saving the planet, you know, from itself,” said Josh Groban.
He would do social justice? Has social justice consented or would this be a rapey kind of thing?
“I would take every step that is necessary to make sure that all of the people in my country are safe,” said Yo Yo Ma.
Yo mama!
“Not be president,” said Regina King.
I think that’s Joe Biden’s plan too for his first act as president. Also, I have no idea who Regina King is.
Jamie Foxx rambled on about how he would get the coronavirus pandemic under control followed immediately by, “Time to pop that champaign and enjoy life.” Nothing stops a pandemic dead in its tracks like a big party, does it?
Finally, George Clooney didn’t understand the question and listed many things as the first thing he’d do as president.
“Racial equality, you know, which is a big one obviously it was, if COVID wasn’t the main story then that would have been our main story of the year, you know,” said Clooney.
Josh Groban is going to do social justice and Clooney wants to do racial equality. Maybe they can get together and tag-team racial justice and social equality in the grossest celebrity sex tape since the Hunter Biden crack-smoking hooker video:
“And I think we could look at gun violence as well,” added Clooney.
Kevin Bacon is going to listen to science and George Clooney is going to look at gun violence. I have no idea what these things mean, but seeing as how Clooney is a liberal Hollywood hypocrite, that presumably means he would try to ban guns.
These vapid answers prove that none of these Hollywood liberals should ever be President of the United States. They also indicate that their opinions on who should be the president, or politics in general, must be ignored completely. They’re morons.
