The liberal media spent 4 years trying to get rid of Donald Trump, but now that he’s gone nobody misses him more than them. Fake news was easy with Trump in office because there are enough liberal idiot haters who will believe it, but in his absence BSing the public is much harder. Today the New York Times ran a fake news story that fruit aliens are stealing watermelons that had been found on Mars.
Earlier today, The NYT showed they are still the leaders of bullshit in print by publishing this article:
Fields of Watermelons Found On Mars, Police Say
“Authorities say rise of fruit aliens is to blame for glut of outer space watermelons. The FBI declined to comment on reports of watermelons raining down, but confirmed that kiwis have been intercepted,” read the Google News link.
An archived screen shot reveals this story was written by “Joe Schmo” and declared, “This article is terribly boring.” Besides the subheading: “Authorities say rise of fruit aliens is to blame for glut of outer space watermelons” that’s all there is to this article.
The article has since been removed, but the article URL still exists. Visiting the link reveals the latest in NYT retractions: “This article has been removed. A mock article intended for a testing system was inadvertently published on this page earlier.”
I’m calling bullshit on this. If they were publishing a mock article to test the system, why wouldn’t they just delete it and be done with it? Also, how do you accidentally publish an article?
Here’s what I think really happened. This wasn’t written by “Joe Schmo” it was written by Joe Biden. The NYT gave the illegitimate president some editorial space to sell his immigration policies to the American people. Unfortunately, Joe wrote this one himself without approval from his handlers or the NYT staff. Once they saw what Joe came up with, there was a mad scramble to scrub it from the Internet, but it was too late.
Allow me to offer the following points to back up my theory that Joe Biden wrote this:
1 – The liberal media allows democrats to use their platform to push their agenda.
2 – The liberal media is the propaganda arm of the democratic party.
3 – The liberal media is fake news.
4 – Joe Biden often doesn’t know his own name. Sometimes he’s “Joe Obama” and this time he’s “Joe Schmo.”
5 – Joe Biden uses antiquated phrases like “malarkey” and “Joe Schmo” definitely falls into that category.
6 – Joe Biden is both terrible and boring and even he knows it.
7 – Joe Biden not only thinks a lot of things that are untrue, he repeats them constantly.
8 – Joe Biden is an old-school democrat racist, so he he thinks if he can convince black people that space aliens are stealing all the watermelons, they won’t mind that he’s flooding their community with job-stealing illegal aliens.
9 – Joe Biden is insane and this article was written by someone suffering from mental illness and delusions.
10 – This picture:
It looks like the hair aliens may have stolen Biden’s hair. Luckily he found a way to recover it.
The only thing that points away from Biden writing this is that there are no made-up words like “Badakathcare” or “trueandanashdasuffaprzur.” Then agin, the NYT does have copy editors. Maybe “fruit aliens” was originally written as, “Lying dog-faced pony soldier, come on man” and the editor figured it probably meant something else.
The only thing left for this is when The Washington Post fact-checkers pick up the story and rate it “mostly true” because the conservative media is failing to note the subtle nuances of fruit aliens stealing all of the outpace watermelons from Mars.
