This week’s biggest WTF? moment came when the White House admitted they not only censor “disinformation” on social media but the regular liberal media as well. Here’s some WTF? they missed:
Headline of the Week
Young man was hit by strange sex: genitals remained closed for 14 days
She suffered permanent damage after her genitals were locked in locks for 14 days.
A young man in Thailand suffered a strange sex drive that left his penis in a lock for two weeks. The young man was taken to the hospital after severe pain in his penis and infection and swelling. Doctors cut the genitals of the young man with an electric cutter. His strange gesture has fallen heavily.
He made several attempts to remove the penis from the padlock but with no success. The linga was trapped in a lock for more than 14 days. However, he developed an infection in his penis and was taken to the hospital after the pain became unbearable.
And here’s a less retarded version of that story:
Locker of the Week
Man suffers permanently disfigured penis after getting it stuck in a padlock for TWO WEEKS
A Thai man has suffered a permanently disfigured penis after he got it stuck in a padlock for two weeks.
The bachelor, 38, clamped the metal device around the base of his genitalia in a bizarre sex act but he lost the key and his penis started to swell.
He tried and failed to remove the small padlock so left it on his penis for more than 14 days until it became infected and the pain was so unbearable that he was rushed to hospital in Bangkok, Thailand.
The man’s embarrassed mother – who tried to help him – told medics that her son ‘likes putting his penis through small holes’.
The mother said: ‘My son is a private person and he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He has been staying at home a lot during the pandemic because he is worried about going out.
‘He told me he did this because he was bored and he likes putting his ‘thing’ through small holes. I was angry at him for embarrassing me like this and I’ve told him not to do it again.’
Medics spent more than 30 minutes using an electric cutter to slice through the metal lock. They slid a thin sheet of metal between the bar and the man’s skin to prevent it from being cut and squirted water onto his body for lubrication.
Despite his penis now being released, medics said there could be lasting damage because of the amount of time the padlock was stuck. His penis has also been disfigured by the ordeal.
Apparently there are no locksmiths in Thailand.
Strangler of the Week
Man nearly strangles his penis to death with rubber bands
An Illinois man suffering from dementia was hospitalized after binding his genitals with rubber bands until his penis began to rot.
The 81-year-old male had initially reported to the hospital after suffering from diabetic ketoacidosis — a potentially deadly reaction to low levels of insulin stemming from his uncontrollable diabetes. It was there that the Chicago native’s wife revealed that he’d wrapped his scrotum in rubber bands and refused to remove them for three days.
However, when asked about his testicular tourniquet, the man seemed confused.
Nonetheless, a subsequent examination revealed that the patient’s phallus was indeed severely swollen and had turned yellow and purple, signifying that it had begun to die.
Doctors deduced that the man’s unconventional hog ties had staunched the blood flow and damaged his member, which, when coupled with his poor circulation from his underlying diabetes, had resulted in “a necrotic or gangrenous state,” per the case study.
In order to prevent further degradation, doctors burned out the dead flesh with a hot wire and excised it with scalpels. They also inserted a catheter into the unfortunate soul’s urethra to drain the reservoir of urine that had pooled because the patient’s groin garrote had prevented him from peeing.
With the help of antibiotics, the patient recovered within five days. However, he failed to appear at his follow-up appointment two weeks later, according to the medical report.
Joe Biden has dementia.
Freezer of the Week
Electrician with penis in freezer castrated men with their consent despite no training
An electrician performed illegal castrations on men which he filmed and kept a penis in his home freezer.
With only an advanced first aid certificate to his name, Ryan Andrew King advertised his services for genital modification, a Brisbane court heard on Friday.
King filmed himself remove a 65-year-old’s testicle in a motel in Loganholme south of Brisbane, Australia in February 2019…
King’s other patient was a 26-year-old Chinese national, who wanted his help in a backpackers hostel to become gender neutral in July last year.
After one-and-a-half hours of surgery, King who had no previous criminal history, flushed the testicle down a toilet.
Both the 65-year-old and 26-year-old needed treatment for bleeding in hospital as a result but were warned of it beforehand by King, the court heard.
When seeking help for the bleeding, the older man explained he performed the surgery himself but the foreign man ran into trouble as he was not eligible for Medicare.
He contacted King who called paramedics and later admitted to police what he had done.
As officers searched King’s house, they found medical equipment and the older man’s genitalia in a freezer.
King told police that he thought having his clients’ consent for the procedures made it lawful…
Judge Richard Jones saw psychiatric report detailing King’s mental health background.
The judge said: “There was little doubt you had an extremely troubled childhood.”
King pleaded guilty to both charges of committing malicious acts with intent…
Mommy and Daddy never loved me and now I chop off dicks and balls.
Cracker of the Week
A Lot Of Men In Iran Are Ending Up In Hospital After Cracking Their Penis Like A Knuckle
Penis fractures are, unfortunately, very much a real thing. The human penis is boneless, so the fracture actually refers to the rupture of the tunica albuginea, the rubbery sheath that covers the spongy erectile tissue of the penis. Victims will hear a “crack” noise (no doubt followed by a blood-curdling scream) and can expect to suffer from a swollen, purple-bruised penis for the immediate future. Doctors sometimes refer to this appearance as the “aubergine sign” as the penis gains an uncanny resemblance to an eggplant.
Estimated to affect 1 in 175,000 people per year, this cringe-inducing injury is, fortunately, relatively rare. Rare, that is, except for certain corners of Iran.
Between April 1990 to October 1999, a doctor working in Kermanshah, a city in the Kurdish region of Iran, documented 172 cases of penile fractures, as reported in a 2000 case study in the Journal of Urology.
Elsewhere in the world, the majority of penis fractures typically occur during sex.
However, in this Iranian case study, just 14 of the cases (8 percent) were related to sexual intercourse. Nineteen cases (11 percent) were caused by rolling over onto an erect penis while asleep and a small number were caused by physical injuries endured during sport or a fight. As per the report, one case occurred because a “brick fell on erect penis”, one was due to “inadvertently striking the penis with an adze while cutting loaf sugar into lumps”, and another was caused by a “donkey bite to erect penis” – all certainly the unlikely result of unfortunate “accidents”
Nevertheless, these freak injuries should not overshadow the 119 cases (over 69 percent of the total cases) that were due to taghaandan. For those blissfully unaware, taghaandan is a practice that’s reportedly practiced in parts of the Middle East and Central Asia whereby people forcibly push down or bend the erect penis. The word “taghaandan” comes from the Kurdish phrase “to click,” referring to the “cracking” noise often reported during the injury. The case report explains the motivation to perform taghaandan on oneself is usually to suppress an erection or sexual desire, which others have suggested may be a symptom of the lack of sex education among the general population in the area.
When all you know is jihad, eventually you’ll go to war with your own dick.
Hacker of the Week
Girlfriend has “spiritually passworded” my penis; it erects only when I’m with her – Man cries
A young man who calls himself “a player and a heartbreaker” has met the daughter of a fetish priest who has “spiritually passworded” his penis to the extent that he only has an erection when he’s with her, but any attempt to cheat with another woman ends in up embarrassment.
In a letter addressed to an Instagram relationship adviser, the Nigerian man started by bragging about how he used to have sex with many women just anyhow and dump them before meeting his current girlfriend.
It appears he had intended to just hit her too and run but the lady happens to be the daughter of a fetish priest whom his friends had warned him against but he didn’t pay attention.
Narrating his ordeal, the man bemoaned how he has never been able to sleep with any other woman in the past year since he met his current lover who he described as a “good girl, respectful, nice and everything a man wants in a girl”.
According to him, several times he attempted to have sex with other women but he lost erection on all occasions, and it is becoming too much shame to him.
What he said surprises him is the fact that he has a hard and lasting erection whenever he is with his girlfriend.
His letter reads: “I was a player and a heartbreaker until I meet my present girlfriend, who my initial plan was to use and dump, but it is no longer possible because I’ve been dating her for over one year now.
“She is a good girl, respectful, nice and everything a man wants in a girl but the daughter of a native doctor, which I was warned about.
“Although she is a good partner, I still want to have other girls but I noticed that whenever I want to get down with other girls my manhood will refuse to work, not once, not twice, not thrice. The thing has made me not bother about going after other ladies because of the shame it ends up bringing me.
“But surprisingly it always comes alive and I last longer whenever I’m having it with her. I discussed it with my friend and he told me it might have been spiritually ‘passworded’ by her. I need advice urgently.”
Yet another unfortunate ransomware attack.
Swinger of the Week
Man Swings Penis At Children Mowing Lawn, Police In York County Say
A man in York County exposed himself to children and asked for a 9-year-old to perform a sex act, according to police in Hanover.
Andrew James Lowery, 36, of the 100 block of McAllister Street in Hanover, was arrested on Saturday after two children told police he pulled down his pants and waved his penis at them.
The children had been mowing their lawn when Lowery came outside and yelled at them to stop.
“While yelling, Lowery proceeded to pull his pants down, place his exposed penis into his hand and (waved) it around while yelling at them to perform fellatio upon him,” according to the criminal complaint.
One of the children was 9-years-old.
Interesting twist on “Hey you kids, get off my lawn!”
Biter of the Week
24-year-old Daniel Agyei murdered girlfriend after biting his testicle
District police commander, Upper Denkyira East DSP Jones Afutu this afternoon discloses to the media that Daniel Agyei, aged 24, a trader, murdered her 25-year-old girlfriend Vivian Akatsa.
The incident happened at Kadawene, a suburb of Dunkwa On Offin on Sunday, July 11.
The police noted that the deceased bit Daniel’s testicles during a misunderstanding.
According to the police, the deceased suspected Daniel of cheating with another woman at Upper Denkyira East Municipal in the Central Region.
According to DSP Jones Effutu, the suspect also committed suicide after drinking a substance suspected to be poison.
Their bodies have been deposited at the Dunkwa Municipal Government hospital mortuary.
Did the misunderstanding involve how someone described as “her” had a testicle?
Squeezer of the Week
Thug ignored tight testicle squeeze to bite into victim’s face in McDonald’s car park
A crazed drunk bit the cheek of a McDonald’s customer whose nose he broke in a “sustained and ferocious piece of violence”.
Matthew Feeney unleashed the savage attack when told by his victim to step away from his car in the fast-food restaurant’s car park.
Under the influence of booze which possibly combined with his psychosis medication, Feeney snapped his victim’s tooth with an initial blow to the face.
As Feeney sank his teeth into the other man’s face, he did not flinch when his victim squeezed his testicles tightly in an attempt to break free.
Feeney, 32, from Scunthorpe, Lincolnshire admitted inflicting grievous bodily harm on March 14 and affray, GrimsbyLive reports.
This guy seems nuts.
Dipper of the Week
In Huntsville, a possible sexual assault situation has grown into a criminal investigation. This week, a student who said he witnessed up to eight people “baptize” or “bean dip” teammates said he thinks many administrators should be fired for mishandling investigations.
Title IX documents showed claims that boys basketball players put their genitals and private parts into teammates mouths while others held the victims down, calling it “baptizing” or “bean dipping.” This went on for a number of years and happened as celebratory acts after victories, according to a Huntsville student who exclusively spoke to KNWA/Fox24 and wished to remain anonymous.
“They’d just randomly say, ‘Oh, you’re doing it today,’” the student said. “Some people would sit on people’s faces. Some other people would put their [genitals] in people’s faces.”
The student, who said he was interviewed in the initial Title IX investigation, said teammates told him they’d paid $20 a week to save themselves from the abuse. That investigation was closed with two students receiving minor punishments, while another Title IX investigation’s been opened alongside a criminal investigation. The student said abusers knew they’d face trouble and threatened others not to tell.
“I got some threats,” the student said. “[They said] ‘Don’t tell anybody, or we’re coming after you.’”
The abuse didn’t stop after the investigations were opened, the student said.
“They still do it,” he said.
It could be worse. At least it wasn’t queso dip.
Milker of the Week
Mom is stunned when her baby boy is born with lactating breasts
An Indiana mother was “freaking out” upon realizing her newborn son had grown breasts — which began lactating — at just a week old.
Vanessa Moran of Evansville gave birth to baby Kylan Sherrill on June 1, 2020 — a healthy boy of seven pounds and 13 ounces.
But the 28-year-old hospital schedule administrator soon spotted something strange about him — that his nipples appeared “inverted,” she told Kennedy News.
“I noticed immediately that he didn’t have any nipples,” she said, adding that newborn Kylan also seemed fussier than her previous children. “He was really whiny and cried a lot.”
Over the next few days after birth, his chest appeared to swell “super big” — and eventually out came what a “shocked” Moran could only assume was breast milk.
“I was freaking out — I’d never seen that before in a baby,” said Moran, thinking it could be an infection or “something life threatening.”
Kylan’s worried mom and father immediately visited their family doctor, who diagnosed the baby boy with neonatal galactorrhea, a rare phenomenon in which an abundance of estrogen from the pregnant mother is transferred to the baby, affecting both males and females.
Nicknamed “Witch’s milk” by some, galactorrhea occurs in 5 to 6% of children at some point during infancy, according to an early study of the condition published in the JAMA Pediatrics medical journal. Fortunately, it is neither life-threatening nor permanent.
Thanks for the mammaries.
Robber of the Week
Robstown homeowner shoots alleged burglar in buttocks
An alleged burglar was shot in the buttocks by a Robstown homeowner, according to Robstown police.
The incident happened at about 4:31 a.m. in Robstown on the 600 block East Avenue C.
“The burglar made unlawful entry through a rear door of the residence and was approached by the homeowner as the burglar was rummaging through the homeowner’s belongings,” says a post from the Robstown Police Department. “The burglar was shot one time on his buttocks.”
Police say the alleged burglar was taken to Bay Area Hospital where he is being treated for his injury.
How can robbery be illegal in Robstown?
Sticker of the Week
Six Men In Trouble After Inserting Long Stick Into Anus Of A 16-Year-Old Boy
Six adults have been apprehended in Ghana for allegedly inserting stick into the anus of a teenage boy suspected to be a thief.
Naija News understands that the individuals were arrested after they were caught on camera while carrying out the condemnable act.
The video was captured by those who claimed to have caught the boy stealing in their neighborhood.
The 79-year-old man in the video who was the first person to be arrested by the police following a missing person complaint filed by the boy’s family, aided the police in the arrest of the remaining 5 people who participated in the stick insertion.
However, in their confession upon arrest, the suspects claimed not to know the 16-year-old boy’s whereabouts, alleging that they untied him and left him to go after the stick was inserted into his anus.
While the boy has now been found by the police and is receiving treatments from a hospital, the men are still in police custody assisting in investigations
I bet that boy will never steal again.
Bummer of the Week
Aussie woman reveals injuries after horror jetski accident
A woman from Port Macquarie, NSW, has revealed the horrific moment she fell from a jetski, leaving her with gruesome internal injuries.
Matilda, 21, was on the jetski with two other friends, when she lost grip of the woman in front of her.
Matilda slipped from the seat into the water, causing the jet of the jetski to “shoot up” her rectum.
“This was my first and last time on a jetski,” Matilda said…
“I was sitting on the back of the jetski when the accident happened … and we were riding along and I somehow lost grip of the person in front of me and somehow fell backwards.
“The water jet shot up my bum and tore up all my insides.”
Matilda said as soon as she fell off the jetski she knew something was very wrong, describing how she “kept on vomiting every couple of seconds” before being rescued.
“Every time I vomited I felt intestines coming out of my bum,” she said.
“Once I got to shore, the paramedics came and they saved me. I woke up in the hospital 24 hours later and I found out that I had perforated my bowel, my intestines and tore my sphincters. It meant that all the contents of my bowel went inside my abdominal cavity as well as some dirt and water from the lake.”
As a result of the accident, Matilda said the surgeons needed to remove her abdominal organs where they were cleaned. The bowel and the kidney needed to be “fixed” before being put back in.
What a bummer.
Pisser of the Week
A drunk man died in a horrific shark attack after he waded into the sea to urinate at a Brazilian beach.
Marcelo Rocha Santos, 51, had his hand and a chunk of his leg bitten off by the predator at Piedade Beach in Jaboatao dos Guararapes on Saturday.
After lying motionless on the beach surrounded by shocked bystanders, he was taken to hospital in Recife where he was pronounced dead.
Mechanic Edriano Gomes told reporters that the victim had been drinking with friends. He entered the water at around 2pm when the weather had gone cloudy and the sea was becoming choppy.
Gomes said: ‘It was a friend of mine who was in the sea with the person who was attacked. Suddenly, he saw the man struggling. There was a lot of blood in the water.’
When the shark attacked, only the victim and the other person who escaped unharmed were in the water at the time.
Fellow swimmer Ademir Sebastiao da Silva, told reporters: ‘As the beach has no bathroom, I went into the sea to pee. I was beside him with the water up to our waists.’
Marcelo’s friends brought the victim to shore where he fell to the ground unconscious.
He completely disregarded the sign about not pissing on the sharks.
Shitter of the Week
Woman told she can no longer ‘urinate or defecate’ in public
Amanda Lee, 50, from Crewe, Cheshire, has been treating her town like it’s her very own private bathroom for years, and has been ordered by police to stop.
Lee has been convicted 15 times dating back to 1996 for offences including anti-social behaviour, harassment, public order, and abusing the emergency system, reports news outlet Cheshire Live.
Police issued her a Criminal Behaviour Order (CBO), which prevents Lee from doing these five things in the “exclusion zone” around her town:
- She can’t be in possession of alcohol in an open container.
- She can’t use abusive language or threatening behaviour in a public place nor use a dog to threaten or intimidate people.
- She can’t contact police on the emergency numbers 999 or 101 unless she has a genuine reason for doing so.
- She can no longer “urinate or defecate” in any open space, public or private.
- There’s also a street, Preece Court, that Lee is no longer allowed to enter.
“She has persistently shown no consideration at all for the actions her offending has had on others,” police constable Alex Barker said, according to Cheshire Live.
“There comes a point when you have to say enough is enough and take additional action to protect the community and businesses in the area.”
If Lee breaches the terms of her CBO, she could receive a maximum of five years in jail.
She should move to San Francisco to escape the anti-public pooping tyranny of England.
F*cker of the Week
Man Fined Five Beasts For Adultery & Incest After He Was Caught Pants Down With His Son’s Wife
A Rushinga man was dragged to a Community Court after he was caught committing adultery with his daughter-in-law in her matrimonial home.
Munashe Kahonde, a nurse aide at Chimandau Clinic was slapped with a five beast fine by Headman Chipara for committing adultery and incest.
Kahonde’s luck ran out after his son Peter Mafuta found him hiding under his matrimonial bed when he came back home.
Kahonde who was always in the habit of quenching his sexual appetite with his daughter-in-law was trapped after there was a suspicion about his marital affair with his daughter-in-law
“The day Kahonde fell into a snare, he was betrayed by his shoes that were found at the corner inside the bedroom.
“My wife refused to admit but I rummaged the bedroom until I found him in stealth under the bed,” said Mafuta.
Headman Chipara totally rebuked Kahonde’s act saying what he did was against social customs, values, and ethos.
Headman Chipara revealed that this was Kahonde’s second time to be dragged to his Court facing a similar case. Kahonde is alleged to have lost more than seven beasts within a year paying victims of his adultery cases.
He should just f*ck the beasts. It would be cheaper and probably about the same.
Teacher of the Week
Florida man accused of trying to throw alligator on roof to teach it a lesson
Police in Daytona, Florida, said they took a man into custody early Thursday after they found him abusing an alligator and trying to throw the reptile—by holding its tail—on top of a building.
Fox 35 Orlando reported that police took William “Bubba” Hodge, who is 32, into custody at the scene. The station, citing an arrest report, reported that Hodge is accused of taking the alligator from an enclosure. Police said Hodge stomped on the alligator and slammed it into an awning. He allegedly told officers that he was trying to teach the reptile a lesson.
He has since been charged with animal cruelty, a felony and other offenses.
The alligator was returned to Congo River Golf.
And what was that lesson? Meth is bad, m’kay?
WTF? of the Week
Actor in bare-bottomed monkey costume with fake penis appears at event to encourage children to read
AN actor in a bare-bottomed monkey costume with fake penis appeared at an event to encourage children to read.
Worried mums and dads complained after snaps appeared online of the rainbow-coloured character at a event.
It was part of the Redbridge Libraries Summer Reading Challenge run by Redbridge Council in East London.
One parent said: “Someone needs to lose their job over this.”
A second asked: “This is unbelievable. Have we completely lost our moral compass as a society?”
Redbridge Libraries apologised for the “inappropriate” costume.
Council leader Jas Athwal said all future performances, which were organised by a partner charity, had been axed.
In case you’re wondering what Beto O’Rourke has been up to lately.
