Sorry WTFers but I’m on vacation and so too is WTF? There ain’t much going on this week and I’d rather be on the beach getting loaded than searching all day for meth-feulled mutilated genital mayhem. I however am not a monster and can’t leave you hanging, so here’s an abbreviated The Week in WTF? to keep you going until I get back and sober up:
Headline of the Week
Man throws grenade at ex-lover, misses target, explodes on another man’s genital area
A middle-aged man from Isiolo Town is receiving treatment at the Isiolo County Referral Hospital after an explosive device went off on his groin.
The victim was at a bar in Isiolo Town, when the suspect, in his early 30s, hurled the explosive device at a woman alleged to be his ex-girlfriend. The device, however, missed the target and landed on the victim’s groin.
Shocked, the victim who was seated while taking his drink, firmly held the grenade in his hands to stop it from exploding, but it was too little too late.
The suspect’s target, who is in her early 20s, had allegedly broken up with the man, said to be a police officer in Isiolo town.
Confirming the incident, Isiolo Sub-County police boss George Kariuki told The Standard Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) detectives have taken up the matter.
“We received the report of a man harmed by a grenade,” he said.
“The explosion completely ripped his genitals and lower limbs. He was stabilised, but would need transfer to a more equipped hospital to manage his injuries,” he said.
“The man who intercepted the grenade is very lucky to survive such a dangerous attack,” said Kariuki.
Getting lucky, Africa-style.
Pit Boss of the Week
Sick woman got dog to lick peanut butter from her genitals and filmed vile act
A woman who got her dog to lick peanut butter from her genitals and filmed the sick act will be allowed to keep her pet – but has been slapped with a fine.
Bethany Kemmis, filmed two 20 second videos of the animal committing the vile act at her former partner’s request, a court heard.
The 25-year-old woman, from Queensland, Australia, filmed her American staffordshire terrier during the act – and was only found out when police seized her phone during a raid at her partner’s home for more serious offences.
Kemmis pleaded guilty to breach of duty of care by inappropriate handling at Cairns Magistrates Court on Firday, July 23, the Townsville Bulletin reports.
Police prosecutor Acting Senior Constable Olivier Claes said the video “grossly offends against morality” while asking the court to have the dog taken from Kemmis.
“‘She is not a fit and proper person to be in possession of an animal,” he said.
Defence solicitor Peter Haarsma said the dog suffered no physical harm and appeared to be well cared for, handing over vet reports.
He also claimed Kemmis has been “dragged through the mud backwards” after the incident came to light.
She was widely publicly shamed and lost her full-time job as a manager of a gaming arcade.
The magistrate fined the woman $500 (£268), while recording no conviction and allowed Kemmis to keep the pet
Once they get a taste for pussy, there’s no going back to Kibbles ‘N Bits.
Mitt of the Week
A growing number of Mormon women are pleading with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to redesign the official sacred underwear that all practicing Mormons wear under their clothes, arguing that the garments are itchy, uncomfortable, and detrimental to vaginal health.
Since the 1840s, male and female Mormons alike have worn special sacred temple garments, a set of boxer brief-style shorts and a matching T-shirt that are kept on under the clothes day and night — while working, exercising, and even sleeping.
But while the undergarments have undergone a few design changes over the years, some Mormon women say that they haven’t changed enough to accommodate evolving lifestyles and the health needs of female anatomy.
Speaking to the New York Times this week, Mormon women point to itchy synthetic fabric, uncomfortably pinching waistbands, and fabric that doesn’t breathe — which can lead to yeast infections — as problems that need to be rectified, but admit that some are too embarrassed to discuss the issue with male leaders.
‘People are scared to be brutally honest, to say: “This isn’t working for me. It isn’t bringing me closer to Christ, it’s giving me UTIs,”‘ said Lindsay Perez, 24.
‘Vaginas need to breathe. It’s a thing,’ church member Sasha Piton of Idaho Falls, Idaho wrote on Instagram.
I suggest getting a snorkel.
Bombs of the Week
‘I was bullied and nearly stabbed because of my 34K boobs – but I’ve learnt to love them’
A model has opened up on her harrowing ordeal battling bullies who were so jealous of her 34K breasts they threatened to “cut them off” with a knife.
Anastasiya Berthier, 26, from Moscow, Russia, was forced to quit school after being tormented by her peers, missing out on her prom and feeling ashamed of who she was.
But she now says she has learnt to love her body, though it has not been easy, and she makes a six-figure salary by modelling online, encouraging other women to love their natural bodies.
She first noticed her breasts were bigger than other girls her age when she turned 13.
She said: “My boobs started to grow dramatically. I was DD already by 14 and they just kept on getting bigger and bigger.
“Being at school with really big boobs was very uncomfortable. When we had gym class I found it so embarrassing to run and jump in front of other kids at that time.
“I didn’t have a proper sports bra and it hurt a lot.”
Anastasiya, who boasts 1.1million followers on her Instagram, @artdikaya_, says that at school, the other children would tease her for having big boobs and call her names.
She explained: “It was usually the guys making rude comments but I remember one crazy girl chasing me with a knife and yelling that she wanted to cut off my breasts.
But despite the cruel bullies, Anastasiya slowly started to embrace her body and realised that it was the trolls with the problem and not her.
She said: “Going online and seeing other women who were a similar shape and size as me being celebrated made me realise how beautiful I am.
“I love myself and my body now! I love my curves, I love the volume of my chest, my hips and waist.
Dr. Strangeboob or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Giant Titties
Whack Job of the Week
Masturbation Sparked A Man’s Stroke, Says Medical Case Study
In a recent medical case study, doctors in Japan tell the story of how masturbation sparked a bleed on the brain of a 51-year-old man.
As reported in the Journal of Stroke and Cerebrovascular Diseases earlier this year, doctors at the Nagoya City University Graduate School of Medical Sciences in Japan explained that the right-handed man (the case report was very particular about that) was single and was in the habit of masturbating several times each day.
He headed to the hospital after orgasming and suddenly experiencing a searing headache that lasted for around one minute, followed by an intense bout of vomiting. A CT scan of the patient’s brain revealed an acute subarachnoid hemorrhage – a life-threatening type of stroke caused by bleeding into the space surrounding the brain – in the left hemisphere.
Strokes come in a few different forms, but they tend to refer to ischemic stroke (when a blockage occurs in the artery that supplies blood to the brain) or hemorrhagic stroke (when an artery in the brain leaks blood or ruptures). The researchers note that masturbation causes an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and noradrenaline plasma levels – which are likely to contribute to the risk of splitting a blood vessel in the brain and result in a hemorrhagic stroke.
The man was treated with stents and coiling, two techniques used to bolster the blood vessel and maintain blood flow to the brain, and he went on to make a full recovery.
Stroking leads to stroke.
Videographer of the Week
Murder suspect took cellphone video as he violated DeKalb woman’s body
A man suspected of murder in the death of a DeKalb County woman is also accused of sexually violating her lifeless body and filming it on his cellphone.
New details have emerged about the killing of 23-year-old Mirsha Victor, whose remains were found Tuesday in Henry County and later identified by the coroner. A second set of remains were found in the same area, also belonging to a woman, but they have not been positively identified.
Dennis Lane, 41, was arrested July 9, just one day after Victor was reported missing from the Panthersville area. Along with two other suspects, Cleounsee Fisher and Ronisha Preckwinkle, Lane is charged with murder, false imprisonment and tampering with evidence, jail records show.
Lane is also facing a charge of necrophilia related to the footage Henry County police said they found on his phone, according to an arrest warrant obtained by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
Lane is registered as a sex offender and was convicted of predatory criminal sexual assault in Illinois, according to the GBI. The 1999 case involved the rape of a 10-year-old girl, Channel 2 Action News reported. After serving a 20-year sentence, Lane was released on parole in May 2019, Illinois court records show.
Getting a stiffy with a stiff.
Handy Man of the Week
A woman caught a Miami caregiver forcing her dying father to masturbate him, state says
A woman and a security camera caught a Miami-Dade hospice worker masturbating by forcing the hand of an 85-year-old patient with dementia to stroke the worker’s penis, the Florida Department of Health says.
That’s according to the July 8 emergency suspension order (ESO) on the certified nursing assistant license of Alfredo Gutierrez Hernandez, a 56-year-old who is also facing criminal charges in Miami-Dade County court over these allegations under “Alfredo Gutierrez.”
Originally, Gutierrez was charged with five counts of lewd and lascivious molestation of an elderly or disabled victim and two counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition of an elderly or disabled victim. Those charges, filed May 16, now are down to the two counts of the latter crime.
Gutierrez was released from Miami-Dade Corrections after posting $25,000 bond the same day. He’s been a licensed nursing assistant since March 2016.
Care giver? More like a care taker. Actually, those are the same thing.
Excuse of the Week
‘It’s not what it looks like’ — Ottawa man caught with pants down in pony stall
When police found the intruder at the Ottawa stables, he was in a stall with his pants down and his penis up, standing next to a miniature pony that had been tied up and lubed up with massage oil.
“I’m sorry, it’s not what it looks like,” Ryan Dodd, 30, immediately told police officers according to their notes cited at his criminal trial last week for break-and-enter and attempted bestiality, in which he was found guilty of both.
Whatever it looked like, Ottawa police and Ontario Provincial Police officers responding to the break-and-enter call early on Jan. 5, 2019, told him to put his pants on, and he did so, only backwards, saying, “This is embarrassing.”
Police found the smell of scented body oil overwhelming.
Dodd was co-operative with arresting officers and said he had been drinking and did two lines of coke a few hours before breaking into the barn.
The miniature pony, its hair coat left greasy, smelled of perfume for days, and police noted her genitalia appeared shiny.
Shine on, you crazy horse f*cker.
Mug of the Week
Florida man sentenced to 3 years for spitting on 70-year-old man who asked him to social distance
A man convicted for attacking another convenience store customer who asked him to keep his distance was sentenced to three years in prison.
The incident began in September 2020 inside a Citgo on Orange Avenue in Winter Park, according to the arrest report. The 70-year-old victim said he noticed another customer, Rovester Ingram, was not wearing a mask and he asked Ingram to social distance. The pair began to argue and then the victim left the store, but Ingram followed and punched in in the face, records show.
Winter Park police said the victim attempted to get away from Ingram by going back to the store but the assailant followed. This time he punched, kicked and shoved the 70-year-old man to the ground before dragging him by his hair to the parking lot, according to the report.
The attack continued as Ingram repeatedly hit the victim and then spat on him before walking away.
The victim suffered broken bones among other serious injuries.
Man bun meets afro.
WTF? of the Week
A naked homeless man was seen brazenly holding his penis while smoking a cigarette in broad daylight on Venice Beach in a disturbing video highlighting the city’s growing crisis.
The shocking incident occurred on Thursday around 9am near the boardwalk as groups of children were walking nearby, witnesses told DailyMail.com.
In the video, it initially seems like the fully-exposed man is urinating as he stands against a palm tree holding his genitals.
However, he then remains standing for an extended period of time with his pants dropped around his ankles.
The resident who took the video and asked to remain anonymous told DailyMail.com: ‘Not sure what his plan was, but there were two women about 20 feet from him who were high out of their minds and walking around nude.’
The shocking incident comes amid a growing homelessness crisis in the popular LA beach town that has led many outraged residents to consider leaving the area.
The bystander said after he stopped recording the incident, he witnessed another man come over and ‘beat’ the homeless person ‘with a metal pole.’
‘He put his shorts back on and rode away on his bike,’ he added.
Judging by the size of that penis-blocking pixel, cops refused to arrest him due to lack of evidence.
