“No Nut November” is a bizarre movement for people to refrain from masturbating for the whole month. An equally weird thing is “Dry January” where people pledge to stop drinking alcohol for the month. Pabst Blue Ribbon won the Internet by suggesting that the teetotalers participating in this silly ritual should “try eating ass.”
Actually, I should say that someone from PBR’s marketing department won the Internet but I’m assuming that person was fired. Unfortunately the brewer deleted the greatest set of tweets from a corporate brand ever.
Things started with some innocent tweets promoting what PBR called “Wet January” then things got interesting:
“Not drinking this January? Try eating ass!” read the deleted tweet.
F*cking hilarious.
Things then got even funnier when someone replied, “PBR or ass? Whats the difference?”
To which PBR replied: “Ask your mom.”
Oh, snap!
There was yet another tweet that suggested people fart on others who participate in Dry January, but I couldn’t find a screenshot of that one.
It’s a shame PBR deleted all of these tweets because they are really drawing attention to the brand. Even suckier, PBR disavowed them. Here’s a statement from Pabst’s Vice President of Marketing Nick Reely:
We apologize about the language and content of our recent tweets. The tweets in question were written in poor judgment by one of our associates. In no way does the content of these tweets reflect the values of Pabst and our Associates. We’re handling the matter internally and have removed the tweets from our social platforms.
Like I said, the genius who came up with this brilliant marketing ploy just got shitcanned.
I’m going to admit to a bit of journalist bias here because i’m a big fan of Pabst Blue Ribbon. I used to be a Budweiser guy but when Belgian conglomerate InBev bought the King of Beers, I had to switch. How could something as American as a cold Bud be owned by a company in Belgium? It was so unAmerican I could bring myself to buy another 12-pack.
I actually drink all different kinds of beers. I look at beers like tools; there’s a right one for every job. If I’m tailgating, I don’t want something heavy. There’s no way I’m chugging 6 Guinness Stouts before the Iron Maiden concert. I also try to match beer to food: Mexican food = Pacifico. Jammin’ on some ramen, I’m drinking Asahi or Sapporo.
In any case, barbecuing on a hot day calls for a fine American lager and PBR fits the bill. I actually like the way Pabst tastes over Bud. It’s got a little more flavor so InBev did me a favor by stealing the previously all-American brand. I can also drink Coors but I like PBR better.
I’ve never eaten ass before, and there’s nobody alive who can prove otherwise, but I’ve had some super-hoppy craft beers that I image are similar in taste. I’ve also had some pretentious hipster beers that kind of taste like shoe polish.
Sorry, I got a little off-track there. I think PBR should own this awesome rogue marketing campaign. Everybody is so uptight these days and worries about offending. If someone is bent out shape for being told to eat ass during Dry January, they were never going to be a customer, but there’s millions of people out there who think this hilarious and want to crack open a cold PBR to celebrate.
