Despite her decidedly unfeminine appearance, Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot has been represented to the public as a woman. A new lawsuit may challenge that perception because Lightfoot was quoted as bragging that she has the “biggest d*ck in Chicago.” Hopefully her giant schlong will not be presented as a evidence in the case.
The basic deal here is that the Chicago park District made a deal with an Italian American group to display a Christopher Columbus Statue during a parade. Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot, who was tearing down Columbus statues all over the city, found out about this deal and flipped her wig. Former Chicago Park District deputy general counsel George Smyrniotis is now suing Lightfoot and the city over this.
In reporting this, Yahoo! News didn’t bother to explain the lawsuit in any way but that’s okay because this is the important part:
When Lightfoot learned about the plan, Smyrniotis alleges in his lawsuit, she threatened to pull the permit for the parade and ordered Park District officials to attend a hastily called Zoom meeting.
At the meeting, Smyrniotis alleges, Lightfoot “proceeded to berate and defame” the lawyers and asked them, “Where did you go to law school? Did you even go to law school? Do you even have a law license?”
Lightfoot told them that they had to submit their pleadings to a city lawyer for approval and were told “not to do a f—— thing with that statute without my approval.”
“Get that f—— statue back before noon tomorrow or I am going to have you fired,” Lightfoot said, according to the complaint.
Lightfoot also made obscene comments to Smyrniotis and King, according to the lawsuit, which alleges she called them “d—-” and asked, “What the f— were you thinking?”
And the single greatest quote in a democratic party history:
“You make some kind of secret agreement with Italians. … You are out there stroking your dicks over the Columbus statue, I am trying to keep Chicago police officers from being shot and you are trying to get them shot. My dick is bigger than yours and the Italians, I have the biggest dick in Chicago,” Lightfoot reportedly said.
Once again it’s good to be a black democrat. No white politician, especially a Republican, could disparage the size of an ethnic group’s wangs and not be canceled for racism.
Since Yahoo! couldn’t be bothered to explain this lawsuit, I figured maybe the grounds were a blatant misrepresentation of fact. Clearly Michelle Obama has the biggest dick in Chicago:
Then again, Michelle Obama doesn’t really live in Chicago any more so maybe Lori Lightfoot really does have the biggest dick in town.
In the good old days, I would do at least one article a month questioning Michelle Obama’s gender. This is the first time I’ve mentioned it since 2018 and it feels damn great. As frumpy and dumb as Jill Biden is, she’s just not a very interesting FLOTUS.
