Joe Biden Claims He Will Soon Be Able To Control The Weather

The Senate democrats just passed the Green New Deal Light bill that aims to stop the recession and reverse inflation by spending money we don’t have and raising taxes. It is expected to pass the House this week and make its way to Joe Biden desk. He of course has no idea what’s in it and claims because of this bloated spending bill he will soon be able to control the weather.

Biden emerged from his double-COVID isolation to travel to Kentucky where recent floods have killed 37 people. At a condemned trailer park, Biden showed that not all disasters are natural:

“The people here in this community, Western Kentucky, and the folks I met in a tornado, they’re not just Kentuckians, they’re Americans,” started Biden.

I wish there was some video of Biden meeting folks in a tornado. That would be awesome.

“This happened in America! America problem,” shouted Biden.

Whatever, weirdo.

“We have the capacity to do this. It’s not like it’s beyond our control. The weather may beyon-yon our control for now but it’s not beyond our control,” claimed Biden.

Apparently Joe thinks he will soon have the ability to control the weather. Sadly, this isn’t the craziest thing he’s ever said.

So what exactly is it that makes Biden think he will be able to control the weather? Why it’s spending of course. Biden bragged (sort of) about all the f*cking money he and the democrats have spent and will spend.

“Because of a number of things we got done on a bipartisan basis like a billion two hundred million infrastructure project,” Biden said.

The infrastructure bill was actually $1.2 trillion. Maybe the descrepency in the numbers is the result of Biden’s inflation, who knows?

Speaking of not knowing something…

“Like what we doing today we passed yesterday have we taken care of everything from health care to God knows what else,” said Biden.

He doesn’t know what the bill is called, what’s in it, or how to form a cohesive sentence.

Biden told the small crowd that he wasn’t leaving until their community was rebuilt. He spoke for 4 minutes and then left.

Before he went, he tried out a couple of jokes:

“The bad news for you is, I’m coming back ’cause I wanna see it,” said Biden.

That sounds more like a threat than a joke. I don’t know what this next one sounds like but, again, it ain’t a joke:

“Alright, now we’re all gonna run laps,” Biden said.

Maybe that sounds like a guy who has lost all of his marbles. BTW, I would love to see Joe try to run laps. If it’s anything like him trying to ride a bike, that actually would have some comedic value.

This was vintage Joe with all the crazy claims, slurred speech, and lies but there was one thing missing: where’s the creepiness?

Luckily after Joe put the microphone down he wandered around until he found some young girls. There’s no audio but Joe was definitely creeping on these young ladies. At one point, he reached out and touched one young girl on the cheek. He then grabbed another young girl by the hands because he’s a touchy-feely kind of creep.

The article is the property of Def-Con News. If you are reading this on any other site besides https://defconnews.com, that’s because some asshole stole it and is using it without our permission.