This story comes from The Washington Post, so chances are it’s BS, but it’s funny enough and Trumpy enough that I chose to believe it. President Trump allegedly shows guests to the White House the exact location where former president Bill Clinton had sex with intern Monica Lewinsky. I love what Trump has done with the economy and foreign policy, but if this is true, it makes me absolutely adore him and think he’s the greatest President in US history.
According to the WaPo, multiple Senators, TV personalities, and other various guests have said that a Trump tour of the White House includes showing them where Bill Clinton had sex with Monica Lewinsky. Trump also supposedly keeps a running commentary about the former president’s extramarital affairs.
“The subject often leads to lengthy, sometimes crass conversations,” said anonymous White House aides.
Is there a non-crass way to talk about a sitting president violating a White House intern with a cigar? The Starr report, detailing this affair, read like a letter to Penthouse.
This is already pretty funny, but put together with this White House Press Secretary quote makes it downright hilarious.
“The President is proud of the White House and its rich history,” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
The White House tour also includes showing guests where Barack Obama was lazy, which I’m sure is racist because Trump said it.
The president has also claimed to guests, without evidence, that his private dining room off the Oval Office was in “rough shape” with a hole in the wall when he came into the West Wing and that Obama used it to watch sports, according to two White House officials and two other people who have heard him discuss the dining room. “He just sat in here and watched basketball all day,” Trump told a recent group, before saying he upgraded Obama’s smaller TV to a sprawling, flat-screen one, the four people said.
Without evidence? Obama has admitted on many occasions that he spent much of his time in the White House watching sports and ESPN. The WaPo worked overtime to debunk this Trump claim because they don’t want people to get the impression that the laziest president ever was lazy.
“There was no hole in the wall and that Obama rarely worked in the room and did not watch basketball there,” said an anonymous Obama official.
Trump wasn’t saying Obama worked in that room, he said Obama was a lazy worthless piece of shit there. Work on your fact-checking WaPo.
This White House tour sounds great and all of those pro athletes who don’t want to visit are missing out on a real treat. It would be even greater if Trump pointed out some other famous spots on the tour:
-The place where JFK banged Marilyn Monroe.
-The toilet that LBJ sat naked on while conducting cabinet meetings and dropping both turds and N-bombs.
-The location where Jimmy Carter did…what did Jimmy Carter do?
-The spot where Hillary Clinton nailed a Secret Service agent in the head with a Bible.
-The hallway where Hillary Clinton pulled up her dress and showed a Secret Service agent her thong.
-The office where Hillary Clinton ordered the hit on Vince Foster.
-The empty spaces where all the furniture the Clintons stole used to be.
-The place where Bill Clinton whipped it out in front of Kathleen Willey.
-The spot where Michelle Obama whipped it out in front of whoever is now blind.
-The Situation Room where Obama and Hillary watched a live feed of Americans dying in Benghazi.
-The place where the bust of MLK still is because Trump never had it removed as reported by the fake news industry.
Yes, the White House certainly is full of history and it’s great to have a President who takes pride in that.
